Happy Memorial Day

Well, today wasn't as bad as it could have been. I had to work, which clearly wasn't the highlight of my day, but it wasn't that bad. Work wasn't as busy as I expected it to be, and I didn't have to deal with too many drunks, which was a good thing. I did see my fair share of drunks though, but they all were of the pleasant variety.

Memorial Day is the unoffical, or offical, however you want to look at it, start of summer. That means revealing shirts, short shorts, and nice tans for the ladies. That is the good thing about my job, I get to see all kinds of good-looking women. Today was a perfect example of what I am talking about. A nice looking girl had a white shirt on that I could see through. Here is the kicker though, she wasn't wearing a bra. Let me just say this, America needs more of this. I have a message to all the pretty ladies reading this, ditch the bra. At the risk of sounding like a Michelob Light commerical, nature should never be tamed. Sadly though, according to my calculations, only between 0 and 0.4 girls read this. We all know the mathematical rules, if it is below 0.5, you must round down, so zero girls read this. I wish I could say more good things about my job, but that is the only good thing about my job though.

I have decided to start a new feature on my blog. It will be called Ken's Top Ten. I know, I know, what an original idea. I am thinking about making this a monthly thing, even if I have to steal some ideas from someone else. I will be starting it in the month of June, and I know that you all are looking forward to it (end sarcasm) for sure. Enough about that though, this could go down as my shortest post ever, so I will end it now. To everyone who is reading this: Happy Memorial Day!

Memorial Day Weekend

I haven't posted in a while, mostly because I have been pretty busy lately. Afterall, it is Memorial Day weekend. I haven't been busy doing anything exciting, but I have been busy nonetheless. I worked on Friday and Saturday, which consumed most of those two days. On days that I work, it is hard to find time to do anything that day, besides work. I usually work the 3-11 shift, so by the time I wake up, eat breakfast, and take a shower, it is almost time to go to work.

I also have to work tomorrow, which, as most of you are aware, is Memorial Day. Should be another fun (end sarcasm) day, especially because it is a holiday. I expect a lot more drunks than usual, along with the general chaos that always seems to come with working a holiday. The reason for that is fairly obvious though, very few businesses are open on a holiday, except 7-11.

Oh 7-11, why do you torture your employees so? I know that I am not the only one working on Memorial Day. I mean, I'll be working with a co-worker, so we'll be the only two people working in the United States. All kidding aside, that isn't the point. My point is that I am pissed off because I get scheduled to work on all the God damn holidays. I have been working at 7-11 for about a year, and in that year, I have had to work on every holiday. Even the shitty nonsignificant ones, such as Hanukkah and the Chinese New Year. Seriously though, since April of 2003, which is when I started my job, I have had to work each and every holiday.

Let me start with the beginning: In April of 2003, I had to work on Easter. In May of 2003, I had to work on my birthday (I know, not a holiday, but it still sucked) and Memorial Day, which I will also be working this year. In July of 2003, I had to work on the Fourth of July, and I suspect that I'll have to work it again this year. In September of 2003, I had to work on Labor Day, which, by the way, is suppose to be a day set aside for the working man. I could be wrong here, but I am a working man. Did I miss a fucking memo or something? I see no other possible explanation for this great atrocity, but I want some God damn answers. In October of 2003, I had to work on Halloween, which was no big deal. However, here come the ones that really piss me off....

In November of 2003, I had to work on Thanksgiving. In December of 2003, I had to work on Christmas. Now, I am not religious or anything, so I don't give a fuck about the religious aspect of Christmas, but I do like spending time with my family. I even had to work on December 31st, 2003, better known as New Year's Eve. I would go on, but I am fairly certain that I have made my point. I thought I would leave this trend in 2003, but it appears to have continued on into 2004. It may sound like I am making a mountain out of a mole hill here, but I just can't seem to understand what the hell is going on.

I don't blame anyone, except in the case of having to work on Christmas. I blame that one on the owners because they are allowed to close on Christmas, but they don't. The term, anything for a buck, pretty much describes the two owners, in a nutshell. They are also living proof that, if given the chance, anyone can successfuly own a 7-11. Isn't that what the American dream is all about though? I guess so, but more on their incompetence at a later date.

Enough about work, let me tell you what I did today. I went with a few family members and friends to the St. Clair Shores Memorial Day parade. I have been going every year for quite some time now, and even though I am not very fond of parades, it is always a good time. This year was no exception, I had an enjoyable afternoon. Anyways, I doubt that anyone has made it this far, so I will quit while I am ahead, or behind, whichever is funnier....

Happy Birthday to Me

Well, today was (is) my birthday, and it wasn't so bad. I had to work, but it could have been worse. I got the usual phone calls from the usual people and pretty much just relaxed, until I had to go to work. Work was the same as any other day, except that I got a birthday card and a Staples gift certificate from my co-workers, which was nice. I'll probably use the gift card to buy a tape recorder. I have always wanted one, for various reasons. Most of the reasons involve blackmail and other nerfarious acts, but I also would like one for school use, in the fall. Using a tape record should be a lot easier than taking notes, and the particular tape recorder that I want allows me to download my recordings on to my computer. That would make my life very easy.

While at work today, I was reminded of one thing that really pisses me off. I would spare you the details, but this is my blog, so what kind of person would I be if I didn't share it with you? I'll tell you what kind of person I'd be, a person who doesn't piss and moan, and that just isn't for me. On with the pissing and the moaning....

Okay, what I am going to tell you is one of the most difficult things that I have to do at work, aside for masturbating in the bathroom without getting caught. That is pretty damn difficult, but this is almost as hard, no pun intended. Anyways, it involves refusing to sell a drunk more alcohol. Now, if it were up to me, I couldn't care less if they are already drunk off their ass, but I have to refuse to sell to them. It seems that "the man" has various reasons for this, but most of the reasons make no sense to me. I often hear that I can't sell to them because it would promote drinking and driving. Hello, how the fuck did they get to 7-11 in the first place? The majority of them certainly didn't walk to 7-11. To a point, I can understand this argument because maybe people will realize that they won't get turned down, so they might be more likely to get into their car and go get some more beer. I can see that the potential for trouble is there, but this is by far the strongest pro-refusal argument....

On to some other arguments though, which are far more flawed. Sometimes I hear that, if I sell to them, what if they get into an accident and kill someone on their way home? To that, I say, what if I refuse them and they kill someone on their way to another convenience store? You can spin this any way you want to, but no one knows what will happen, not even everyone's main man, Jesus. I also often hear that, if I sell beer to someone, I would be partially responsible for any accident or death they may cause, which, if true, is total fucking bullshit. I didn't do anything, other then sell them alcohol, which is part of my God damn job description. I hear all these things from my co-workers and the higher-ups, so I have no idea if they are true or not, but I suspect them all to be scare tactics.

Furthermore, I also frequently hear that I can't sell to a drunk person because some people just don't know their limits, so I have to play the part of the controller. I think that this is a total crock of shit. I don't feel comfortable refusing people, for two reasons....

Reason number one: there is what I like to call, a mean drunk. When I refuse them, they get loud and obnoxious, usually screaming obscenities at me. That is all good, but I can't say anything back at them, which is often difficult to do. I don't want to lose my job over some asshole drunk, so I must refrain from retaliating, which is the more civilized action to take anyway.

On to reason number two: I see no precise way to tell if someone is drunk enough for me to refuse them. Obviosuly, if they can't form a coherent sentence or are stumbling over, it is an easy refusal. It becomes more difficult though, especially when you think you should refuse someone, but you have no hard evidence against them. That would be like convicting someone for murder just because they looked like someone who would kill. In addition to that, some people are just good actors, so I have to give them props for trying. Shouldn't I also give them the benefit of the doubt? I say yes, but I am never sure if I am doing the right thing. I have no exact guidelines, which makes my job difficult at times.

I also have a problem with this, for another reason. If I refuse to sell alcohol to someone who is too drunk, should I also refuse to sell something off of the grill to someone who is too fat? By "the man's" logic and the reasoning of some of my co-workers, it is the same concept. By selling the unhealthy grill food to a morbidly obese person, they could have a heart attack and die. Would I be at fault for his or her death? Of course I wouldn't, but I see it as the principle. It seems to me that we worry so much about the drunk drivers because we all see it, from time to time, in the news. I agree, it is something to worry about. As I said before though, they are already at my God damn 7-11 trying to buy booze. Isn't it too late to worry about it now, they are already half way home. Even if I refuse to sell to them, they still could kill someone on their way home. I don't know, maybe I am way off here, but I really don't see how this prevents anything.

I have rambled on for too long, so I will finish my post with an ending that fits:

Leaves are falling all around, It's time I was on my way.
Thanks to you, I'm much obliged for such a pleasant stay.
But now it's time for me to go. The autumn moon lights my way.
For now I smell the rain, and with it pain, and it's headed my way.
Sometimes I grow so tired, but I know I've got one thing I got to do...

Ramble On, And now's the time, the time is now, to sing my song.
I'm going 'round the world, I got to find my girl, on my way.
I've been this way ten years to the day, Ramble On,
Gotta find the queen of all my dreams.

Ride the Lightning

With an exciting 2-1 victory in game seven over the Flyers, the Tampa Bay Lightning are moving on to the Stanley Cup Finals. Ruslan Fedotenko opened the scoring in the first period, followed by a Fredrik Modin goal in the second period, which made it 2-0 Lightning. The Flyers cut the lead in half just five minutes later, with a goal scored by Kim Johnsson. The Flyers pressed hard the rest of the game and made a valiant effort, but the Lighting shot the Flyers down in a defensive storm. The Modin goal was the eventual game winner, but the real story was the play of Nikolai Khabibulin, the Tampa Bay netminder. His sensational performance in game seven sets the table for what appears to be a goaltending battle of epic proportions. The Calgary Flames also have an exceptional netminder in Miikka Kiprusoff, who set a modern day record for goals against average (1.69) in the regular season and continues to impress in the playoffs. Needless to say, the play of each goalkeeper will be the major focal point of the series. The Flames look unbeatable right now, but the Lightning are playing almost as well. It should be a great matchup and I am looking forward to the start of the series on Tuesday.

Enough about hockey though, I want to tell you about my day, which consisted mostly of work. Okay, well the day didn't get interesting until I got to work, so I will skip all the boring details. My work day started like any other day, but it really got interesting during the storms that occured today in southeast Michigan. I had a perfect view of the storm from my perch at the 7-11 counter, and boy was it a rough one. The power went out for about a minute and the front doors blew open on more than one occasion. Okay, I know what you are thinking, he said he was going to skip the boring detials, but bare with me here. The amazing thing about all this is that people continued to come into the store. There is a God damn tornado warning, but some people can't seem to live without the essentials of life. And when I say essentials I mean nonessentials, such as cigarettes. It takes all kinds...I guess. Let me go off on these people for one second, what the fuck are you thinking? There is a God damn storm outside and you come in to get a slurpee and some cigarettes. Why don't you do us all a favor and go light one of those cigarettes at the gas pump. I mean really, you needed some cigarettes during a tornado warning?

I am exhausted and I have to get up tomorrow at 6 a.m. to continue my observation of the human race at 7-11. It may sound like thankless work...what the hell am I talking about, it is thankless work, but it will be worth it when I become insane and go on a shooting spree. Not really though, but it gives you an idea of what I'm dealing with here. Anyways, thank you for reading another one of my grandiose rants.

Work

Well, since all I did yesterday was work, I will post some of the things that I notice about people, in general, while at work. If you didn't already know, I am a slurpee engineer at 7-11. I don't actually make the slurpees, I design them. And by design them I mean I ring them up at the counter. Anyways, I see around 1,000 people a day, and let me tell you, when you see that many people a day, you start to notice a lot of things.

To start off, I notice that some people like to leave their car running in the parking lot. I can sort of understand this in the wintertime, but in the summertime, it makes very little sense. For one, somebody could easily steal their car, especially at nighttime. I mean, they usually leave their windows open, it is like an open invitation for someone to take their car. For two, have you seen the price of gas lately? I know that it doesn't waste much gas, but still, it does waste gas. Is it really that hard to shut the damn engine off? Sure, it saves you the hassel of starting your car again, and maybe that actually wastes more gas than leaving it running, but I'd rather potentially waste gas than have my car stolen. You know what I mean?

I also notice that everyone has a God damn cell phone. Little four year old girls walk in sometimes, talking on their cell phone. Probably setting up a hot date for later on that night, no doubt. I am being a little dramatic here, but you get the point. Now the fact that everyone has a cell phone doesn't bother me as much as my next observation. Many people do not have the common courtesy to get of their cell phone when they get up to the counter. It is as if they are the most important person in the world, and they want the whole store to know. Whenever someone does this, I don't say a word to them, I just ring them up, take their money, and send them on their merry little way. It might sound like I'm being a prick, but this is a pet peeve of mine. People, when you get to the counter at a convenience store, get off your cell phone and actually interact with the cashier. If you don't want to do that, don't give me a dirty look when I say nothing to you.

Well, I have to go to work, again, very soon. So I will end this post by encouraging you, the reader, to leave me a comment on the subjects I talked about in this post.