NFL Predictions

Here are my predictions for the 2010 NFL season.  I'm going to start with my local team, the Detroit Lions, then move on to the Lions' division, and then the AFC, NFC and Super Bowl championship games.

Detroit Lions schedule

at Chicago (Win)
vs Philadelphia (Loss)
at Minnesota (Loss)
at Green Bay (Loss)
vs St. Louis (Win)
at New York Giants (Loss)
vs Washington (Win)
vs New York Jets (Loss)
at Buffalo (Win)
at Dallas (Loss)
vs New England (Loss)
vs Chicago (Win)
vs Green Bay (Loss)
at Tampa Bay (Win)
at Miami (Loss)
vs Minnesota (Loss)

I'm going to state the obvious here.  The Lions' future hinges on the development of Matthew Stafford.  Will he end up another Joey Harrington?  That remains to been seen, but I don't think so.  He has to show marked improvement this year though because it usually doesn't take the good quarterbacks that long to develop anymore (see Matt Ryan and Joe Flaco).  My expectations for him this year are 3,500 yards, 20 touchdowns and 12 interceptions.  Now, I don't expect Stafford to ever be an elite-level quarterback like Drew Brees, Peyton Manning or Tom Brady.  I do, however, expect him to be in the next tier of quarterbacks that are good enough to lead their team to the playoffs year in and year out (and I expect that to happen as soon as next year).  That's where I'm at right now as a Lions' fan.  Just make the playoffs and build from there.  And hopefully, I'll get to see them win a Super Bowl before I die.  You've got about 50 years guys.  Make it happen!

About my prediction for the Lions though.  I've got them at 6-10.  I also have them winning three road games, which will be an amazing feat if you consider their recent road woes.  They haven't won a road game since October 28th, 2007 against the Chicago Bears.  Their current road losing streak stands at 20 games and I see that ending in week one against the Bears.  I'm not 100% confident with that pick, but I'm making it anyway.  I'm also not very confident about them winning in Buffalo either because it can be a tough place to play during the winter months (they play them there in the middle of November, so the weather could be a factor).  I'm still going to say that they are going to win that game too.  Their other four predicted wins, to borrow a basketball analogy, I see those as slam dunks.  I'm fairly confident in saying that they will beat St. Louis, Washington and Chicago at home and Tampa Bay on the road.  As for their ten loses, I really don't see much hope for a win in any of those ten games.  Maybe at home against Minnesota the last game of the year, if Minnesota has nothing to play for or if Favre's ankle falls off his body somehow before the game.  I guess I can maybe see them winning at Miami, but if I had to pick one game I have as a loss to be a win instead, I would go with that final game against Minnesota.

Okay, here is how I think the NFC North will look like at season's end:

NFC North standings

Packers (12-4)
Vikings (10-6)
Lions (6-10)
Bears (5-11)

Yes, the Lions will finally dig themselves out of the cellar of the division and move up one spot to third!  It's progress I tell you, progress!

Alright, moving on to my prediction for the AFC, NFC and Super Bowl championship games:

Championship Games

AFC: New York Jets vs Baltimore Ravens
NFC: New Orleans Saints vs Green Bay Packers
Super Bowl: New York Jets beat Green Pay Packers

So, that is my prediction for the 2010 NFL season.  It'll be interesting to look back on this to see how close or far away I was.  I hope I'm not too far off, but a lot can happen on any given Sunday.  Until next time, you stay classy, Detroit.

College Football Predictions

Here are my predictions for the upcoming Michigan and Michigan State college football season:

Michigan

vs Connecticut (Win)
at Notre Dame (Loss)
vs Massachusetts (Win)
vs Bowling Green (Win)
at Indiana (Win)
vs Michigan State (Loss)
vs Iowa (Loss)
at Penn State (Loss)
vs Illinois (Win)
at Purdue (Win)
vs Wisconsin (Loss)
at Ohio State (Loss)

That leaves them at 6-6, which would get them into a bowl game.  I don't think that will be enough to save Rich Rodriguez's job though, especially since he will have went 0-3 to the three biggest rivals if my prediction is correct.   The only two games I debated about were Notre Dame and Michigan State.  I really think those two games could go either way, but I just don't see Michigan winning either one.  I do, however, think they have a better chance of winning the Michigan State game because the Notre Dame game is on the road.  If they do that, I believe that will be enough to save Rich Rodriguez's job, but I honestly don't think that will happen.  Moving on to Michigan State's season.

Michigan State

vs Western Michigan (Win)
vs Florida Atlantic* (Win)
vs Notre Dame (Win)
vs Northern Colorado (Win)
vs Wisconsin (Loss)
at Michigan (Win)
vs Illinois (Win)
at Northwestern (Win)
at Iowa (Loss)
vs Minnesota (Loss)
vs Purdue (Win)
at Penn State (Loss)

*Game will be played at Ford Field

Notice that Michigan State's first seven games will be played in the state of Michigan.  That looks like a recipe for success to me.  If my prediction is correct, they will start out 6-1 and finish the season with an 8-4 record.  I debated about two games on the schedule and those two games were Michigan and Minnesota.  Michigan State always seems to lose a game or two that they shouldn't lose, so I could see them dropping at least one of those games (and I predict it's the Minnesota game). If I am not right about that though, and Michigan State loses to both Michigan and Minnesota, that will drop Michigan State to 7-5 and bump up Michigan's record to 7-5 (if everything else I predicted falls into place).

Well, that is my prediction for the two major teams in my area.  I don't expect to be right because a lot of things can and will change during the season, but there's a reason they are called predictions. You do it before the fact, not after, so I'm going to have to stick to them and try to learn from them until I do it again next season.

The man, the myth, the legend...

Ernie Harwell.

Some people wear Superman pajamas. Superman wears Ernie Harwell pajamas.

Ernie Harwell, the legendary Detroit Tigers broadcaster, died on Tuesday. He will be deeply missed by many many people from the sate of Michigan. Personally, I'm not sad that he died (although I will miss him). He died at the age of 92, so he lived a long and fulfilling life. And I'm sure he was in a lot of pain because of the cancer. I'm glad that his suffering is at an end and he is finally at peace.

I'm sorry to say that I don't have any vivid memories of listening to Ernie Harwell as a kid. I am only 25 years old, so my window with Ernie as the Detroit Tigers' radio broadcaster was very short. In addition to that, I never really listened to the baseball games on the radio. I usually watched them on television, so my first introduction to Ernie Harwell was in 1994. I don't exactly remember when I started getting into baseball, but it was in 1994 that I started paying attention to it somewhat. What a year to start liking baseball, the year in which there was a strike! I remembered being really disappointed about that, and I also remember my excitement when play finally resumed the following year. And I like to think that Ernie Harwell was a big part of fostering that excitement for baseball.

Anyway, this post isn't about me, it's about Ernie Harwell. Mr. Harwell was truly a great man. I never had the privilege to meet him, but I've heard many great stories on the radio these past few days from those who did. From what I gathered from these stories, Ernie Harwell was the kind of guy that never had a bad day and never had a bad thing to say about anyone. He was the kind of guy that could and would talk to anyone. He invited numerous strangers into his house, just to chat about baseball and the many interesting stories of his life. Not only that, and I don't know this for a fact or anything, but he probably answered all the fan mail he ever received. There was this one story in which a lady wrote to Ernie and asked him to autograph some pictures. The problem was, she forgot to send the pictures along with the note! Ernie, being the stand-up guy that he was, personally called this woman and told her of her mistake. He could have just said, "screw it, this woman didn't enclose any pictures, I'm just going to forget about it." He didn't though, he actually called her and told her to send another letter with the pictures enclosed and that he would be happy to send them back autographed. What kind of guy does that? I'll tell you what kind of guy does that, a man of the people.

Ernie Harwell was a man of the people and he will be missed by more people than most of us can comprehend. That is why it saddened me to hear about what some of those people, people who claim to have loved him, did to him and his family yesterday at his public viewing in Comerica Park. Some people were actually taking pictures of him in his open casket. Some people even stood next to his open casket and had their picture taken by someone else. To me, that is one of the most disrespectful things you could ever do to the man and his family. Why would someone do such a thing? Just to say that you were there? Well, I'm sorry to tell you this, but it isn't about you. You being there has no significance whatsoever. The viewing was about Ernie Harwell, not you, and you people desecrated it by acting like a bunch of fool asses.

And I know that if the family didn't want pictures taken, they would have had the cameras confiscated or banned from the viewing. It isn't about that though, it's about respect for the deceased. I don't care how famous the person was, you don't take a picture of a dead person in a casket. Unless that dead person is a close relative of yours, you have no right to take a picture of the person. Even then, I would never do it, but I don't begrudge the people who have done it. Ernie Harwell was not a close relative of any of you. And don't hand me the bullshit excuse that you took the picture to remember him by. There are plenty of pictures, especially on the Internet, to remember him by. Go to fucking Google images and search Ernie Harwell. See all those pictures that popped up? Those are great pictures to remember him by, not some lame ass picture of you standing next to his casket. And I pray to Zeus that you weren't smiling in those pictures. Valhalla help you, if you were. That's not what I call living the high life, not at all. You people need to be served a big old platter of common sense. You should all be ashamed of yourselves.

In closing, I would just like to say a final goodbye to Mr. Harwell (even though he would much rather say hello). I hope to become half the man you were and I hope to live a life a tenth as fulfilling as the life you lead. And even though you're long gone, you'll never be far from my heart.

I started this post with his name. I'm going to end it with his words. This is a quote from the man himself, closing his final broadcast in 2002:

"It's time to say goodbye, but I think goodbyes are sad and I'd much rather say hello. Hello to a new adventure. I'm not leaving, folks. I'll still be with you, living my life in Michigan, my home state, surrounded by family and friends. And rather than goodbye, please allow me to say thank you. Thank you for letting me be part of your family. Thank you for taking me with you to that cottage up north, to the beach, the picnic, your work place and your backyard. Thank you for sneaking your transistor under the pillow as you grew up loving the Tigers. Now, I might have been a small part of your life, but you've been a very large part of mine. And it's my privilege and honor to share with you the greatest game of all."

It's Great to Be A Michigan Wolverine

As if missing two straight bowl games, after going to a bowl game for 33 straight years, wasn't enough (the last year Michigan missed a bowl game was in 1975). As if two straight losing seasons, with a combined record of 5-16, wasn't enough (after 40 straight winning seasons, if you ignore the 6-6 record of 1984). As if finishing tied for 9th and 10th in the conference the past two years, with a combined conference record of 3-13, wasn't enough (the last time Michigan finished lower than 3rd in the Big Ten was 1996, when they placed tied for 5th). As if going 1-5 against your three biggest rivals, Notre Dame, Michigan State and Ohio State, the past two seasons wasn't enough. And as if an embarrassing loss to a MAC team, and not even a decent MAC team, wasn't enough. As if all these things weren't enough for a Michigan fan to endure.

Well, prepare yourself for what I'm about to say because I'm about to drop a bombshell on you. I must warn you though, before I continue. If you have a heart condition, you might not want to read on. If there are any small children of reading age, please ask them to leave the room. If you have an erection lasting for more than 4 hours, call your doc--wait, disregard that one. If you scare easily, or suffer from motion sickness, you might not have the strength to read what I'm about to tell you. If you're clinically depressed, or have ever had thoughts of suicide, you may not be able to continue on after you read this information. What I'm about to tell you will turn your world upside down and blow your mind on so many levels. You have been warned.

It is with a heavy heart that I must report that the last known wild wolverine in Michigan has died recently. I know that this is tough to take, especially considering what the state of Michigan has been through these past few years, but let me put your mind at ease, my dear weasel lovers. Apparently, wolverines actually left the state of Michigan a long time ago (but not in a galaxy far far away) . In fact, the last confirmed sighting of a wolverine in Michigan was in the late 1700s and early 1800s, about 200 years ago. If you're wondering how Michigan became "The Wolverine State," and why the University of Michigan picked the animal as their mascot, the above Detroit Free Press article has a theory.

Here's one theory with some historical heft: When George Armstrong Custer led the Michigan Brigade into battle during the Civil War, he called his troops wolverines.

I have no idea whether or not this is true. If you would have asked me yesterday if there were any wild wolverines in the state of Michigan, I would have told you, "Of course, why else would we be known as 'The Wolverine State'?" What the hell do I know though, am I right? What this makes me realize, however, is how I can never assume something as being true. I assumed that there were wild wolverines in the state of Michigan. I never questioned it, not even for a minute. I just took it as a fact and never thought about looking into it further. I am glad to have this reminder, because it makes me realize how little I really know, and how I can continue to learn everyday.

Well, I hope you liked my post about the current status of the majestic Michigan wolverine. If you made it this far, you receive 10 internets and a copy of our home game. Enjoy!

How to Improve the NHL (part 2)

When we last left the subject of improving NHL hockey, we were talking about marketing. But how can the NHL market itself when it's not on a proper television network? The next solution addresses this. If the NHL insists on being in markets it doesn't belong in, it needs to be back on ESPN. The coverage on the network formerly known as the Outdoor Life Network (OLN), now known as Versus, isn't bad (it isn't great, but it isn't bad). The problem is that not all homes have Versus. Last time I heard, a local cable provider here, called Wide Open West, didn't have Versus. Now, that may have changed by now, but the fact still remains that not all homes have Versus. I know for a fact that people who have Direct TV do not have Versus. And don't even get me started on NBC. I don't have a major problem with their coverage of the NHL either, but the fact that they showed so few Olympic hockey games bothered me. I mean, I understand that figure skating is probably more popular to the average person (read: women) than hockey, but to not show a game that you have broadcasting rights to is despicable. The NHL needs to be back on ABC and ESPN. And I don't care if the games are on ESPN2, at least then you would see more than just a brief series of hockey highlights on SportsCenter before they moved on to a highlight of a basketball dunk you've seen a million times before.

And finally, the last solution also concerns how the game is broadcast. More specifically, the advertisements during the game. The same technology that brings you the first down line in football has brought digital advertising (also known as virtual advertising) during NHL games. If you're not in the Detroit market, and even if you are, you might not know what I'm talking about. As recently as a few weeks ago, during a Red Wings game, there were advertisements on the glass behind the goalie nets. I also vaguely remember hearing about this a couple of years ago too, but not for certain. I don't know how many other hockey markets have tried this, but I know this has been done in Major League Baseball. In any event, these ads need to remain and be league-wide. I know, I know, Ken said that he didn't like the fact that the NHL was becoming more corporate (and I don't). Some things though, you just can't fight. There was a time, I'm not old enough to remember it, that there were no advertisements along the boards. I'm sure people were up in arms over it then, just like some people are up in arms over the virtual advertising now. Nowadays, you don't even really notice the advertisements along the boards. In time, the same will be true for the virtual advertisements. And who knows, maybe there will be a little give back to the fans. Maybe there will be less commercial breaks, which will allow the hockey game to flow more smoothly. A man can dream, am I right?

Well, those are all the solutions I have for now. I know they are far from perfect, some of them aren't entirely realistic, and none of them are my ideas alone. I just want what I think is best for the game though because I truly think that it's one of the best games on Earth.

To recap (TL;DR version):

• Eliminate six teams from the league (less teams means more talent to go around)
• Get rid of commissioner Gary Bettman (he's bad for the game)
• Market more superstars (not just Sidney Crosby)
• Get the NHL back on ABC/ESPN (instead of one no one can find or one that doesn't seem to care)
• Keep digital/virtual advertisements (maybe this will lead to less commercials and more flow to the game)
  

How to Improve the NHL (part 1)

The result of the gold medal game notwithstanding, Olympic hockey was truly great. I didn't get to see as many games as I would have liked, mostly because NBC didn't air them on any of their networks, but the few that I did see were great. The pace seemed quicker than NHL hockey, there was more flow to the game, and the larger ice surface allowed more skill to be shown (A friend pointed out to me that they played at the Vancouver Canucks arena. I even mentioned that to my grandma and uncle when they asked why the crowd cheered Kesler during the medal ceremony. Not that that's an excuse, I just don't know what I was thinking here). Sure, there were a few things that I didn't like, such as the automatic icing and the lack of physical play. For the most part though, I enjoyed Olympic hockey more than some random NHL game (here in Detroit, we're spoiled because the Red Wings play a highly skilled puck possession game). So, what can the NHL do to make its hockey better? Read on to find out.

The first solution to improve the NHL is to eliminate six teams. Which six teams you ask? Well, Pittsburgh for one because I can't stand "Cindy" Crosby. Just kidding, although he is a douche bag extraordinaire. The six teams that I would eliminate are as follows: Phoenix Coyotes, Florida Panthers, Atlanta Thrashers, Nashville Predators, Tampa Bay Lightning, Carolina Hurricanes (in that order). The one I feel worst about is the Carolina Hurricanes. I think there is some potential there. They have had some success, aren't too far south, and are near the east coast. If it makes you feel any better, swap Carolina for one of the California teams (California does not need teams in San Jose, L.A. and Anaheim). With less teams in the league, there would be more talent to go around to the remaining 24 teams. And more talent means better hockey.

I know this will never happen, partly because the players union wouldn't like the idea of less jobs for the players. The other part of the equation is commissioner Gary Bettman, which brings me to the next solution. The NHL needs to be rid of Bettman. In my opinion, he is bad for hockey. He has been the commissioner for two work stoppages (in 1994-95 and 2004-05). He has expanded the NHL into markets it just doesn't belong (Nashville, Atlanta). He has stood by and allowed multiple teams to relocate (Phoenix and Carolina being the most egregious). And why has he done this? I don't know for sure, but it seems he is trying to make the NHL more corporate. He seems to be trying to make the NHL like the NBA, which isn't surprising, considering he's a disciple of David Stern.

And you can clearly tell that he comes from the NBA by the way he markets the NHL. In the NBA, it's all about the superstars (Lebron James, Kobe Bryant, Dwayne Wade, etc.). In the NHL, this seems to translate into Sidney Crosby, Sidney Crosby and Sidney Crosby. If you can't tell, I'm sick of Sidney Crosby. The next solution involves the marketing of the NHL. It needs to be done better. I know it sounds ambiguous because better can mean a lot of things. And I know this isn't the perfect solution, but I'm tired of the marketing trying to appeal to a non-hockey viewer. I understand that the NHL doesn't need to market anything to me. They already have me watching the game. I get that they are trying to attract the people who don't normally watch hockey. I understand that totally. But really, when your marketing turns off a fan you already have, there is a problem with it. There has to be some sort of middle ground we can agree upon. Market the superstars, sure, but don't make it mainly about just one guy. There are a number of other players that are comparable to Crosby (Ovechkin, Datsyuk, Zetterburg, Kovalchuk, Gaborik, etc.) And I don't care if they can't speak good English (some NBA players are guilty of this). Let their game speak for itself.

I'm going to have to break this into two parts because this is all I have time for tonight. Please check back later in the week for part two of the ways to improve the NHL.

The Super Bowl

Just a quick note, for my records, before I begin. I removed the first sentence "You are now entering the Twilight Zone, better know as Ken's blog" from my introduction. The reason I did this is simple: a certain series of books/movies, that shall remain nameless, have ruined the word twilight for me. I know that the word twilight can have multiple meanings/usages, and the way I used it had nothing to do with the books/movies, but I decided to part ways with that sentence nonetheless. Not that it matters really, and not that any of you really care for that matter.

Anyways, on with your regularly scheduled blog post. If you live in the United States, you probably know of a certain football game that was played yesterday. And even if you're not a football fan, you probably watched it yourself. According to the ratings, 106.5 million people watched in the United States alone. It was the most watched Super Bowl ever, and even beat out the last episode of M-A-S-H (105.97 million) to become the most watched program in United States television history. I have no idea how M-A-S-H got that amount of people, in an era (1983) that didn't have nearly as many televisions, to watch the show. Maybe it was a really great show, or maybe it's the fact that there wasn't as much to watch back then as there is now. I really don't know, I never watched M-A-S-H, but I suspect that it's a little bit of both.

On to the actual game though. Before the game started, I wanted the Saints to win. I know I wasn't alone in this, I'm sure just about everyone outside of Indiana wanted the Saints to win. I didn't, however, think that the Saints were going to win. I thought that Peyton Manning had two weeks to prepare, and preparing is his strongest suit, so I figured he would carve up the Saints defense. Manning didn't play bad yesterday, but he didn't play good either. And a lot of people will blame him for the loss, because that is the nature of being a quarterback in football. You get most of the credit when you win and most of the blame when you lose. I never like to blame one player though, it's a team game after all, and it's rarely the fault of a single player.

You also have to give credit to the Saints, especially their head coach, Sean Payton. He made two ballsy calls, one at the end of the first half and one at the start of the second half. Near the end of the first half, he went for it on fourth and goal, but the Saints failed to score on the play. His defense picked him up though and got a quick three-and-out on the Colts subsequent drive. That quick stop allowed the Saints to get the ball in good field position and eventually lead to a field goal just as time expired in the first half. The first half ended with the Colts up 10-6.

That, however, wasn't his ballsy-est call of the night. In a move never before seen in the Super Bowl, the Saints started the second half with an onside kick. And to make matters worse, at least for the kicker, the coach informed him of this decision at the start of halftime. And remember, this is the Super Bowl we're talking about, halftime lasts roughly 30 minutes (compared to about 20 minutes during any other game). That kicker had to think about it for nearly 30 minutes! I can't imagine the amount of pressure he must have felt, but you couldn't tell by the way he performed. To start the second half, the kicker made like he was going to kick off like normal, but at the last moment, he pulled back and kicked the ball about ten yards. I'm not even sure if it went the requisite ten yards (it has to go at least ten yards or there's a penalty), but that didn't matter because it hit off the shoulder of a Colts player. Once the ball is touched by the receiving team (the Colts in this case), no matter how many yards it went, it is a live ball for the kicking team (the Saints in this case). And the Saints came up with the ball following the scrum that ensued after the ball hit the Colts player. That was a big momentum shift for the Saints, who went down the field and scored a touchdown on that drive. The Saints never really looked back after that, and ended up beating the Colts 31-17.

Enough about the game though. Another big attraction during the Super Bowl is the commercials. Now, I'm not a big fan of commercials usually, but I can at least tolerate them during the Super Bowl. It's not the same crap you're subjected to over and over again when you're watching television any other time, so it's not so bad.

My favorite one was the Doritos commercial, where the little boy slapped the man that came over to take his mom out on a date. The man brings the mom flowers, then she introduces the two to each other, and then she goes into another room to finish getting ready for the date. As she is walking to another room, the man looks at her in a very lustful way. The little boy sees this and drops the video game controller he was holding. The man sits down, tries to make idle conversation with the little boy about video games, and then grabs a Dorito. The little boy smacks the man, points to the Doritos bowl and says, "Put it back." Then the little boy holds up two fingers in the man's face and says, "Keep your hands off my momma," then puts down one finger, "and keep your hands off my Doritos." The little boy then gets in the man's face and gives him his death stare. Absoultely hilarious.

I didn't really have a least favorite commercial. Some of them were just dumb, like the one where the people were in their underwear for whatever reason. I don't even remember what it was for, so it didn't do a good job in advertising to me. I do remember seeing the Tim Tebow one that was supposed to be controversial though. I was dreading seeing that one because it was supposed to have a pro-life message. Now, don't get me wrong, it has nothing to do with the message. I couldn't care less if it was pro-life or pro-choice, one way or the other (I believe what I believe, and you believe what you believe, and that's that). A message like that just doesn't belong during the Super Bowl, in my opinion. The pro-life message, however, wasn't really in the commercial. You had to go to the Focus on the Family website to get that message. And since Danica Patrick and GoDaddy do the same thing basically, I can't fault the Tim Tebow commercial at all for that. The commercial was nothing to be bothered about really, I just hope it doesn't set a precedent for future controversial topics in commercials during the Super Bowl. Keep your religious/political views/agendas out of the premier sporting event of the year please.

And finally, I'd like to talk about the Super Bowl halftime show. Let me start off by stating that I'm a huge fan of classic rock (it's all I listen to for the most part). However, I didn't really enjoy this year's halftime performance by The Who. I also like Paul McCartney, The Rolling Stones, Tom Petty and Bruce Springsteen, but I didn't care for them during the years they played during the halftime show either. With all due respect to these great musicians, some of them legends of rock music, I just think that their time has passed. The kids of today have no idea who they are (who, who, who, who?). To them, they are all just a bunch of washed up old men, who just as likely belong to the AARP as they do the rock and roll hall of frame. The kids of today can't relate to their music in any way whatsoever. Now, I'm not saying that who plays in the halftime show should be dictated solely by the kids of today, but there has to be some sort of compromise. Do a blast from the past one year and then the next do a more current artist. And put the performance of any artist of today on a 20-30 second delay if that makes you feel better, as opposed to the 20-30 year delay in talent that we have now. When will Lady Gaga, the Black Eyed Peas, Green Day, Beyonce or the "Pants on the Ground" guy get a chance to play in a Super Bowl? In another 20-30 years, when they are all washed up themselves? I know that Janet Jackson and Justin Timberlake pretty much ruined it for everybody, but come on. To quote The Who, "God, there's got to be another way."

Well, that's my take on all that was Super Bowl XLIV. I hope you enjoyed my post as much as you enjoyed the game. That will probably only hold true for those of you who didn't enjoy the game, but your mileage may vary. Until next time, you stay classy, San Diego.

And then there was...one?

Well, actually four, but I'm going to eliminate the other three and explain my reasoning for it. If you have no idea what I'm talking about, please read on. I'll give you a hint though, it's about the Detroit Lions and the Super Bowl.

With the Saints making the Super Bowl this year, only four teams remain that have never played in the game: Cleveland Browns, Detroit Lions, Houston Texans and Jacksonville Jaguars. Right off the bat, you can forgive the Jacksonville Jaguars for never making the Super Bowl. They have only been around since 1995, so they have only had 15 seasons to do it. So, it is understandable that they have never played in one yet. They don't deserve the dubious distinction (holy alliteration Batman!) and can be eliminated from this list for now.

Now, you may be saying to yourself, "Why didn't he eliminate the Houston Texans first?" Well, you would be right in thinking that, but I'll tell you why I didn't. While it is true that the Texans have only been in the league since 2002, they used to have a team called the Houston Oilers. And what happened to the Houston Oilers? Well, they moved to Tennessee in 1997 and became the Tennessee Oilers (in 1999, they changed the name to the Tennessee Titans). As you may recall, the Titans lost in the Super Bowl in an epic game against the St. Louis Rams in 1999. So, as far as I'm concerned, a team from Houston has played in the Super Bowl.

That same logic can also be applied to the Cleveland Browns, but it is a case that is a little more confusing. The Cleveland Browns franchise started in 1946, but their owner, Art Modell, decided it would be a good idea to move the team after the 1995 season. This, of course, created a shitstorm in Cleveland and the NFL awarded the city a "new" team with the same name, scheduled to resume play in the 1999 season. For all intents and purposes, the Cleveland Browns were "deactivated" at the end of the 1995 season and "reactivated" starting with the 1999 season. So, what happened to the team formally known as the Cleveland Browns? They moved to Baltimore as an "expansion" team, even though all of the then current Browns players and personnel remained, and became the Baltimore Ravens (Fun fact: after the 1983 season, the Baltimore Colts moved to Indianapolis). Well, following the trend set by the Tennessee Titans, the Baltimore Ravens soon played in (and won) a Super Bowl in 2000. So, in my opinion, a team from Cleveland has played in the Super Bowl, with all due respect to the real Cleveland Browns.

And then there was one. That's right, number zero in your Super Bowl programs and number one in my heart, the Detroit Lions. And what makes matters worse is that the Lions have won just a single playoff game since 1957 (the year the Lions last won a championship). That's one playoff win in over 50 years, for those of you keeping score at home. Compare that to the team I forgave above and you begin to release just how pathetic the Lions really are. In 1996, the Jacksonville Jaguars won two playoff games in just their second season of existence. This was the same year that another recent expansion team, the Carolina Panthers, also won two playoff games (in their second season as well). So, as you can plainly see, the Detroit Lions are truly in a class of their own. And that is a class of one, riding the short bus to school, sitting in a corner with a crooked dunce hat on and blabbering about how the government is trying to broadcast signals to aliens off of their cavity fillings. That's the Detroit Lions for you, a team I love for some strange reason.

Well, that's all I have to say about that. I'm going to leave you with a list I made while researching this topic. This is a list of all the current NFL teams and their Super Bowl appearances (please note that wins are in bold).

National Football Conference

NFC East

• Dallas Cowboys: 1970, 1971, 1975, 1977, 1978, 1992, 1993, 1995
• NY Giants: 1986, 1990, 2000, 2007
• Philadelphia Eagles: 1980, 2004
• Washington Redskins: 1972, 1982, 1983, 1987, 1991

NFC North

• Chicago Bears: 1985, 2006
• Detroit Lions: N/A
  
• Green Bay Packers: 1966, 1967, 1996, 1997
• Minnesota Vikings: 1969, 1973, 1974, 1976

NFC South

• Atlanta Falcons: 1998
• Carolina Panthers: 2003
• New Orleans Saints: (2009)
• Tampa Bay Buccaneers: 2002

NFC West

• Arizona Cardinals: 2008
• San Francisco 49ers: 1981, 1984, 1988, 1989, 1994
• Seattle Seahawks: 2005
• St. Louis Rams: 1979**, 1999, 2001

American Football Conference

AFC East

• Buffalo Bills: 1990, 1991, 1992, 1993
• Miami Dolphins: 1971, 1972, 1973, 1982, 1984
• New England Patriots: 1985, 1996, 2001, 2003, 2004, 2007
• NY Jets: 1968

AFC North

• Baltimore Ravens: 2000
• Cincinnati Bengals: 1981, 1988
• Cleveland Browns: N/A
  
• Pittsburgh Steelers: 1974, 1975, 1978, 1979, 1995, 2005, 2008

AFC South

• Houston Texans: N/A
• Indianapolis Colts: 1968*, 1970*, 2006, (2009)
• Jacksonville Jaguars: N/A
• Tennessee Titans: 1999

AFC West

• Denver Broncos: 1977, 1986, 1987, 1989, 1997, 1998
• Kansas City Chiefs: 1966, 1969
• Oakland Raiders: 1967, 1976, 1980, 1983***, 2002
• San Diego Chargers: 1994

* In these two years, they were the Baltimore Colts
** In this year, they were the Los Angeles Rams (see below)
*** In this year, they were the Los Angeles Raiders (so even L.A., who currently doesn't have an NFL team, has a Super Bowl win and another appearance)

2009: Detroit Sports Year In Review

The year, 2009. The city, Detroit. The subject, sports. 2009 will go down as one of the most disappointing years in Detroit sports history. I've only been around for about 25 of those years, and not really an avid sports fan for the first ten or so of them, so forgive me if I'm being overly dramatic, but 2009 was the worst sports year of my life.

It all started at the end of 2008, in November. I know this is supposed to be about 2009, but I'm providing you with a little bit of context. The Pistons traded away my favorite player, Chauncey Billups (and Antonio McDyess), to the Denver Nuggets for Allen Iverson (whom I can't stand). At the time, a lot of people were excited about the trade. And I'm not a huge basketball fan or anything, but I wasn't happy about the trade at all. More on the Pistons later though.

Also in 2008, at the end of December, the Detroit Lions did the unthinkable. After going 4-0 in the preseason, the Lions finished the regular season 0-16. A perfect season, only in reverse. In a league where the expression any given Sunday reigns supreme, where a bad team can sneak up on a mediocre/good team and stumble into a victory on any given Sunday, the Detroit Lions couldn't even do that once. If Detroit sports fans only knew that this was just the beginning of their year of discontent.....

Fast forward to the end of April 2009. The Detroit Pistons were swept by the Cleveland Cavaliers in the first round of the NBA playoffs. After going to the Eastern Conference Finals for six straight years, the Pistons were bounced in the first round of the playoffs. Like I said, I'm not a big basketball fan, so this wasn't really all that disappointing to me, but I'm sure it was to a lot of fans around Detroit. And what's even worse is the Pistons currently. They have lost 13 straight games, with their last win occurring on December 12th, 2009. When will the suffering end?

Moving on to more pain and disappointment. It's the middle of June 2009. The Detroit Red Wings are in the Stanley Cup Finals again against the Pittsburgh Penguins, looking to repeat. With the first two games in Detroit, the Wings jump out to a 2-0 series lead. Then they travel to Pittsburgh for two games and the series is tied 2-2 after that. The next game is in Detroit, and Detroit wins it, so the series is 3-2 Wings now. Then they go to Pittsburgh again for a game, while visions of sugar plums danced in their heads. And by sugar plums, I mean Stanley Cups. But no, they lose that game, so the series is now tied at 3-3. If you've been paying attention at all, you might have noticed a pattern by now. The home team seems to be winning all the home games. So it stands to reason that since the next game is in Detroit, the Red Wings win game seven. You would be wrong. After not showing up for the first two periods of game seven, and allowing some guy named Maxime Talbot (a guy whose name sounds like something a woman would put between her legs during that time of the month) to score two goals, the Red Wings finally decide to show up for the third period. Too little, too late though. The Wings score one goal, and almost tie it up with seconds left, but don't. The Detroit Red Wings lose to the Pittsburgh Penguins in game seven of the 2009 Stanley Cup Finals. Somebody shoot me please.

But that was just the midpoint of a year that had more disappointments in store for the fans of Detroit. It is now the beginning of September 2009. After sweeping the Tampa Bay Rays in Tampa Bay, the Detroit Tigers have a seven game lead over the Minnesota Twins in the central division. With 27 games left, the Tigers have a seven game lead over the Twins. It's looking good, right? Wrong. With seven games remaining, the Tigers lead the Twins by two games, with an important four game series against the Twins coming up next. Well, the Tigers somehow split those four games with the Twins, and their lead is still two games with three to play. So the Tigers either have to win two games, or win one game and the Twins lose one game, or hope the Twins lose two games for the Tigers to win the division. A virtual lock, right? Wrong. The Tigers can only win one game against the lowly Chicago White Sox, and the Twins sweep their last three games against the Kansas City Royals, so the regular season ends with the Tigers and Twins tied for the central division title. As you may or may not know, in baseball, there is a one-game playoff to determine the division winner. And if you had no rooting interest in the game, it was truly a great game. However, it was not a great game if you were a Tigers' fan because the Tigers lost the game in extra innings. I was going to post more about how big of a fuck up Miguel Cabrera was during that series against the White Sox, but I don't think my blood pressure can handle it at this point.

Could the year get any worse if you are a fan of the Tigers? You obviously haven't been paying very close attention to this post if you think it can't get any worse. On December 8th, 2009, a day that will live in infamy, at least in my mind, the Detroit Tigers traded away one of their best players, Curtis Granderson, to the most hated team in all of sports, the New York Yankees. Is this really happening? Please tell me I'm dreaming or on some sort of Bizzaro world where the sky is green and it rains skittles. Actually, that wouldn't be so bad. But really? Did the Tigers really just trade one of their best players to the Yankees? Yes, in fact, they did. And I already dedicated a post to this, so please scroll down and read that if you missed it, because I don't think I can handle reliving that again.

And finally, I would be remiss if I didn't mention the 2009 Detroit Lions. It is January 3rd, 2010, the day of the last game played by the Detroit Lions. I know that their last game wasn't played in 2009, but for all intents and purposes, it was the end of the shitty sports year that was 2009. The Lions finished the year with a lose to the Chicago Bears, and their final record was 2-14. So yes, the Lions still blow. Nothing more to say about them really, other than that. They weren't as bad as the 2008 Lions, but how could they be any worse than 0-16? And hey, even if they did go 0-16 again, at least Matt Millen is gone. That at least gives me some hope that the future is...not as dim as it once was.

Well, that was my post detailing the 2009 year in sports for Detroit. I hope you enjoyed it, and even if you don't like sports, I hope it at least gave you some perspective of what it was like to be a Detroit sports fan in 2009. Here's hoping 2010 isn't as bad as 2009, but it's not looking too hot right now....

The Matt Millen Drinking Game

If you're like me, you can't stand former Detroit Lions GM Matt Millen. His ineptitude as a general manager was second to none and won't soon be matched. He will go down as one of the worst General Managers of all-time, with a sparkling eight year record of 31-97 (wins-losses) during his reign of terror. He single-handedly set the organization back at least ten years, maybe more. When he wasn't drafting wide receivers, he was calling a wide receiver (Johnny Morton) a fag. And when the media wanted to talk to him after he was fired, to hold him accountable for an epic failure as big as Charlie Weis and Mark Mangino combined, he was no where to be found.

Fast forward to a few months after he was fired. He is on television again, doing commentary for NBC during the Super Bowl. After running the Detroit Lions into the ground, seemingly losing any creditability he once had, he's somehow back on TV again. Even after making $50 million dollars from the Lions, $50 million fucking dollars, an amount of money anyone could happily retire on, he has the audacity to appear on TV again. He took the Lions to the cleaners, laughing all the way to the bank and all that jazz, and that was all well and good, we were happy to be rid of him forever.

But no, Matt Millen is like that relative who comes to visit you that you have a hard time getting rid of. Better yet, he's like herpes. He keeps coming back, no matter what you do. No matter how much cream or lotion you put on Matt Millen, no matter how dry or clean you keep him, he just keeps coming back. Fast forward again to this football season. He's on not one, not two, but three networks. He does color commentary, for college games no less, on Saturday for ABC. He does pre-game/half-time/post-game coverage on Monday Night Football for ESPN (and he's probably on ESPN otherwise). And now, with Thursday night games in the mix, he's on the NFL network doing color commentary for those games.

Now, you may be asking yourself, what does any of this have to do with a Matt Millen drinking game? Well, I'm going to tell you. Since he is on three different times during the week, and since I watch a lot of football, I have been able to pick up on a few of his tendencies.

These are by no means comprehensive, so feel free to add your own wrinkles to the game. And please feel free to modify the game in any way you wish. I don't drink, and I've never played a drinking game, so I'm not entirely sure how they work. I think I know enough, however, to give you my version of the Matt Millen drinking game. So without further stalling for time, I present to you:

The Matt Millen Drinking Game

• Take a drink anytime he draws on the screen during the actual game. Note: Don't drink if this happens during a replay (you'd be really drunk if you drink on the replays too, so feel free to add that, if you think you can handle it).
• Take a drink anytime he mentions Penn State
• Take another drink if he is referring to a player from Penn State or his old playing days at Penn State (this has the potential for disaster if he's calling a Penn State game, so use your best judgment)
• Take a drink anytime he evaluates or compliments a player (take another if it's a wide receiver)
• Take another drink if you don't agree with his evaluation or compliment (this will probably happen a lot, so use your best judgment here too)
• Take a drink anytime he makes an obvious mistake on a rule or on a call by the officials (take another if it happens during a challenge or a booth review)
• Take a drink anytime he compliments the officials, (take another if he uses the phrase "that's good officiating")
• Take a drink anytime he says "that's good football" or something to that effect
• Take a drink anytime he says "a hat on a hat" (take another if he says it while telestrating a play)
• Take a drink anytime he makes a bad joke or tries to be funny (this will most definitely happen a lot, so use your best judgment again)
• Take another drink if his TV partner laughs awkwardly at his attempt at humor

Well, that's all I have for now. I will continue to watch him, even though I can't stand him, to try to pick up on any more tendencies that I can. I hope that you liked my drinking game and that it makes Matt Millen more bearable to watch. If it doesn't, hey, at least you're drunk. And that's what's important, right?

The Damn Yankees

I was going to do a post today about a Matt Millen drinking game that I came up with, but something major happened today. That something major is the trade of my favorite Detroit Tiger, Curtis Granderson, to my least favorite team in all of sports, the New York fucking Yankees.

Call me old fashioned, but I love the idea of a team drafting a player, developing that player's skills in the minors (if he needs it), and then when he finally gets to the big club, he is a good/great player and spends his whole career with the team that drafted him. The Red Wings did this with Steve Yzerman. The Pistons did this with Joe Dumars and Isiah Thomas. The Tigers did this with Al Kaline. And the Tigers had the chance to do this again with Curtis Granderson, but failed epically by trading him to the Yankees today.

Now, Granderson isn't as great a player as the ones mentioned above, but he is a good player. Add to it the fact that he's an even better person, and you have the makings of a guy that could have been a Detroit sports icon. A guy that Detroit sports fans could have idolized for all-time, especially if he won a championship. After what transpired today, however, that chance is, as Ernie Harwell would say, loooooong gone.

And who do we have to thank for this? The answer is, of course, the Detroit Tigers' General Manager, Dave Dombrowski. The guy who made bad signing after bad signing, a trade that should never have been made, and an option that should never have been picked up. So, thanks for signing Dontrelle Willis to that contract extension ($29 million, 3 years), despite the fact that he showed signs of decline in Florida. I can't wait to hop on the D-Train next year, Dave (toot toot). And thanks for resigning Nate Robertson ($21.25 million, 3 years) to a contract he totally deserved, Dave. I hope you're ready for gum time because I know I am (end sarcasm). Oh, and thanks for trading for an old and busted Gary Sheffield, and then extending him two more years (for a grand total of over 38 million, 3 years). And to top it off, you should have let go of Magglio Ordonez earlier in the year, instead of keeping him on the team, which kicked in his $18 million option for next year. That playoff run this year was so worth it. Oh wait, that's right, you didn't make the playoffs this year. And don't even get me started on Brandon Inge and Carlos Guillen (they, I will admit, are the least of the Tigers' problems, but that's not saying much).

It just makes me nauseous to think of Curtis Granderson in Yankee pinstripes. I am literally sick to my stomach right now. But I'll remain a Tigers fan, despite all of this, because I'm a sick individual who loves everything about Detroit. I even love the Lions, as bad as that is.

If you made it this far, thank you for reading. I hope I can get to sleep tonight, after writing this, but I think I'm going to have trouble. I'm so fired up right now. You stay classy, San Diego.

Tim Tebow

If you don't know who Tim Tebow is, go do a quick Google search and familiarize yourself with him. Also "familiarize" yourself with his girlfriend, if you know what I mean. If you don't feel like doing that, I'll just say that he's a college football star that plays for the Florida Gators, and his girlfriend has big tits.

Let me start off by telling you about a chance encounter I had with Tim Tebow. Back in 2007, during the early days of the Tebow legend, I went on vacation with my family down in Florida. We were out at a restaurant, and I had to use the bathroom, so I excused myself and made my way over to the men's room.

As I walked through the restroom door, none other than Tim Tebow was at the only urinal. I waited politely for him to finish, and let him walk by me without saying a word because it's awkward to talk to anyone, especially the Supreme Overlord and Master of the Universe, in the bathroom. It took me a while to pull myself together, but then I remembered why I was in the bathroom in the first place, so I went over to the urinal to relieve myself. And wouldn't you know it, as soon as I finished pissing, the bladder infection that I failed to mention until now was gone. And I didn't even have to have some strange black guy touch my junk! I just had to use the same urinal as Tim, and boom, it was gone. And even though Tim was probably in the parking lot by then, resurrecting a dead mouse or something, I said a prayer to thank him, hoping that God would relay the message.

Oh, you don't believe me, do you? Well, you're right. The story was total bullshit. And it may sound like I hate Tim Tebow, but I don't. I'm sure he's a quality individual, I'd probably even let him fuck my sister. I just think that people are a little over the top with him. Every time I watch a game he's playing in, and even sometimes a game he's not playing in, I'm subjected to the announcers just gushing over him. It's like John Madden with Brett Farve, except no one's on the telestrator drawing objects that look strangely like penises. Anyway, they go on and on about how great Tim is, about how he circumcises Filipino babies in his spare time, about how they talked to him before the game and now they are a much better person because of it. They even read the Bible verse he had written on his eye black this past Saturday.

So, to all you people out there who think he's great, we get it. He's better than us. He's better than you. He's better than me. While we're out there being unproductive sinning members of society, he's saving the world one circumcision at a time. Oh, and through the words of Jesus Christ too probably. He is a leader among men, a god among mortals, a gator among crocodiles, and we are merely left to worship at his altar. Except he wouldn't want us to do that, of course, because it would take away from his message that Christ is the only thing that you should worship. He's humble like that.

Anyway, that was my rant about Tim Tebow. And like I said, I don't hate him. I just don't think that he's as amazing as most people think he is, but I could be wrong. What are your thoughts?

Why I Hate Fantasy Football

I'm going full disclosure here, I used to play fantasy football. However, what happened this past weekend reminded me of one of the reasons why I no longer participate in it.

If you didn't see the Jaguars-Jets game (don't worry, I didn't either), then you might of missed what happened. The score was 22-21 in favor of the Jets. With under 2 minutes on the clock in the fourth quarter, the Jaguars had the ball on the Jets 10 yard line (in the red zone) driving for a score to win the game. Keep in mind that the Jets didn't have any timeouts to stop the clock.

The Jaguars quarterback (Garrard) hands the ball off to the running back (Jones-Drew). Jones-Drew runs through the hole, and none of the Jets defensive players are trying to tackle him. The Jets want the ball, and they know that the only way they are going to get it back is if they let him score. Jones-Drew does the smart thing though and falls down at the 1 yard line, allowing the clock to continue to run.

If you didn't understand what was going on by my explanation, watch this video.

If he would have scored, the Jaguars would have been winning 27-22 (with the extra point pending), but the Jets would have gotten the ball back with about 1:30 left on the clock and a chance to win. He didn't score though, so the Jaguars were able to run down the clock by taking a knee a few times and then calling a timeout with only seconds left. The Jaguars kicker (Scobee) kicked the game-winning field goal, as time expired, making the final score 24-22 Jaguars.

Those of you who don't play fantasy football may be asking, "What does any of this have to do with fantasy football." Well, in fantasy football, touchdowns are worth big points and running backs typically score the most. Since running backs score the most, people draft them early and often. So, when Jones-Drew didn't score that touchdown, a lot of his fantasy owners were pissed. He even apologized to them after the game, and he also said that he had himself on his fantasy team, so it was a tough decision for him.

Now, I have no problem with people who play fantasy football, so don't get it twisted. If you enjoy playing it, by all means, do it. It just isn't for me anymore. I used to be like the fantasy owners that were/are mad at Jones-Drew. I couldn't watch a game without thinking about the fantasy football implications. It was no longer enjoyable, at least to me, to actually watch a game. Fantasy football got in the way of my enjoyment of the game, so I stopped doing it.

Well, that's all I have to say about that. You stay classy San Diego.

Big Ben seriously hurt in motorcycle accident

When I first read that headline, I thought they were talking about Ben Wallace. But then I remembered that black guys don't ride motorcycles. Here the full story (click the title to read from the original source):

PITTSBURGH (AP) - Steelers star Ben Roethlisberger, the youngest quarterback to lead a team to the Super Bowl championship, broke his jaw and nose in a motorcycle crash Monday in which he was not wearing a helmet.

Roethlisberger was in serious but stable condition, Dr. Larry Jones, chief of trauma at Mercy Hospital said before surgery.
The player's agent, Leigh Steinberg, described the injuries to The Associated Press and said he did not know if there was further damage.

"He was talking to me before he left for the operating room," Jones said. "He's coherent. He's making sense. He knows what happened. He knows where he is. From that standpoint, he's very stable."

Roethlisberger's mother, Brenda, was crying as she arrived at the hospital.

Steelers president Art Rooney II said the team was "encouraged by the early reports from the medical team" at the hospital. "I am sure Ben knows that we are praying for his complete recovery."

The 24-year-old Roethlisberger was without a helmet, police said. He has said he likes to ride without one, a habit that once prompted a lecture from Pittsburgh coach Bill Cowher.

Roethlisberger was on his black 2005 Suzuki Hayabusa - the company calls it the world's fastest bike for legal street riding - and heading toward an intersection on the edge of downtown. A silver Chrysler New Yorker traveling in the opposite direction took a left turn and collided with the motorcycle, and Roethlisberger was thrown, police said.

The other car was driven by a 62-year-old woman, police said. They didn't immediately release her name and no charges were filed.

Witness Sandra Ford was waiting at a bus stop when she said she saw the motorcycle approach. Seconds later, she said she heard a crash, saw the motorcyclist in the air and ran toward the crash scene.

"He wasn't moving and I was afraid that he had died. ... He wasn't really speaking. He seemed dazed but he was resisting the effort to make him stay down," said Ford, who didn't realize the motorcyclist was Roethlisberger.

Police spokesman Lt. Kevin Kraus said police and homicide units were leading the investigation, a standard practice when there is an accident with critical injuries.

In only his second year in the NFL, Roethlisberger helped guide the Steelers to the Super Bowl title in February at age 23. Training camp for next season begins at the end of July.

Several teammates, including backup quarterback Charlie Batch, linebacker Joey Porter and safety Mike Logan, arrived at the emergency room.

Some fans also gathered at the hospital, including Juanita Clark, who sells Steelers paraphernalia.

"I just feel like he's a family member," said her daughter, Loretta Clark.

Roethlisberger has said in the past that he prefers not to wear a helmet when riding his motorcycle. He has pointed out Pennsylvania's state law requiring helmets to be worn was repealed in September 2003.

In May 2005, Cowher warned him about safe riding after Cleveland tight end Kellen Winslow Jr. was injured in a motorcycle accident. Winslow tore knee ligaments and was lost for the season.

"He talked about being a risk-taker and I'm not really a risk-taker. I'm pretty conservative and laid back, but the big thing is to just be careful," Roethlisberger said at the time. "I'll just continue to be careful. I told him we don't ever ride alone, we always ride in a group of people, and I think it makes it even more safe."

Roethlisberger continued to ride after Winslow's accident and that angered Terry Bradshaw, who quarterbacked the Steelers to four Super Bowl victories during the 1970s.

Visiting the Steelers' training camp last summer, Bradshaw remarked: "Ride it when you retire.


Okay, let me get this straight. He is glad to wear a helmet on a football field, and yet, he isn't willing to wear a helmet while he's riding a motorcycle? Does that make sense to anyone else? I mean, more people die annually in motorcycle related crashes than in football related crashes. So wouldn't it make sense to also wear a helmet while riding your motorcycle? In his case, I guess not....

Better yet, as a professional athlete, how about not riding a motorcycle at all? Professional athletes, even the mediocre ones, stand to make millions of dollars throughout their career. I mean, even the twelve man on an NBA team makes decent money, just for sitting his ass on the bench all year. If I was gifted enough to play professionally, I would try my damnest to protect my potential earnings. I'd never engaged in any activities that could jeopardize my career. Motorcyle riding would top that list, followed closely by drug related activities, among other things. I believe Terry Bradshaw said it best: "Ride it when you retire." Oh, and Michael Irvin too: "Smoke it when you retire.... Shit, smoke it during halftime."

Do professional athletes think that they are invincible, or are they just stupid (or both)? Does thinking that you are invincible and being stupid go hand in hand? Well, not that this is an accurate sample or anything, but I know a few people who think that they are invincible. To me, these people seem pretty stupid. That's not to say that I'm a genious or anything, I'd say that I'm of average intelligence. If you can at least give me that, then it follows that people who are dumber than me are just plain stupid. I'm not trying to pigeonhole anybody here, but I think that my assumption holds true, for the most part. The dumber you are, the more invincible you feel.

Well, I've been blogging an awful lot about sports lately. Nobody seems to be reading any of it, but what else is new? Okay, that's all for now. Good day, sir.

I SAID GOOD DAY.

Tay Saves the Day

After Rasheed Wallace guaranteed a game two victory, the Pistons had no choice but to step up and deliver. The final score was a 72-67 Pistons victory, but it could have been a Pistons loss had it not been for Tayshaun Prince. Prince blocked Reggie Miller's potential game tying shot, which could have been the beginning of the end for the Pistons. Richard Hamilton, the Pistons best player in game two, was huge down the stretch and ended up with 23 points. As a team, the Pistons stepped it up defensively, allowing just 24 points in the second half. The first half was a different story for the Pistons, but they played through it and came away with a win.

I wanted to rant on how much I hate NASCAR tonight, but I decided to save that for some other time. Instead, I want to say something about that crazy, question mark suit wearing guy that you see on television infomercials. If you don't know who I'm talking about, his name is Matthew Lesko and he claims that the government will give you free money to pay your bills. In fact, that is the title of his book, Free Money to Pay Your Bills, which, by the way, might actually be believable if he didn't act like a deranged psycho. This guy is totally off the wall, borderlining on insane. I don't know how in the hell he got on television, but I suspect that it has something to do with the fact that he dresses like the God damn Riddler. Now this guy may dress like the Riddler, but he looks more like Screech, from the television show, Saved by the Bell. I don't know what is worse, the fact that he is on television or my act of watching him on television, but I suspect the former. This guy seriously needs to tone it down somehow, I suggest that he switches to decaf....

Enough about that though, it is now time for me to end this thing. Check out my friend Ryan's blog, which is a hell of a lot more interesting than this meaningless post. His posts are shorter too, which is a nice change of pace from my endless drivel. Check him out at: Detroit Kid

Ride the Lightning

With an exciting 2-1 victory in game seven over the Flyers, the Tampa Bay Lightning are moving on to the Stanley Cup Finals. Ruslan Fedotenko opened the scoring in the first period, followed by a Fredrik Modin goal in the second period, which made it 2-0 Lightning. The Flyers cut the lead in half just five minutes later, with a goal scored by Kim Johnsson. The Flyers pressed hard the rest of the game and made a valiant effort, but the Lighting shot the Flyers down in a defensive storm. The Modin goal was the eventual game winner, but the real story was the play of Nikolai Khabibulin, the Tampa Bay netminder. His sensational performance in game seven sets the table for what appears to be a goaltending battle of epic proportions. The Calgary Flames also have an exceptional netminder in Miikka Kiprusoff, who set a modern day record for goals against average (1.69) in the regular season and continues to impress in the playoffs. Needless to say, the play of each goalkeeper will be the major focal point of the series. The Flames look unbeatable right now, but the Lightning are playing almost as well. It should be a great matchup and I am looking forward to the start of the series on Tuesday.

Enough about hockey though, I want to tell you about my day, which consisted mostly of work. Okay, well the day didn't get interesting until I got to work, so I will skip all the boring details. My work day started like any other day, but it really got interesting during the storms that occured today in southeast Michigan. I had a perfect view of the storm from my perch at the 7-11 counter, and boy was it a rough one. The power went out for about a minute and the front doors blew open on more than one occasion. Okay, I know what you are thinking, he said he was going to skip the boring detials, but bare with me here. The amazing thing about all this is that people continued to come into the store. There is a God damn tornado warning, but some people can't seem to live without the essentials of life. And when I say essentials I mean nonessentials, such as cigarettes. It takes all kinds...I guess. Let me go off on these people for one second, what the fuck are you thinking? There is a God damn storm outside and you come in to get a slurpee and some cigarettes. Why don't you do us all a favor and go light one of those cigarettes at the gas pump. I mean really, you needed some cigarettes during a tornado warning?

I am exhausted and I have to get up tomorrow at 6 a.m. to continue my observation of the human race at 7-11. It may sound like thankless work...what the hell am I talking about, it is thankless work, but it will be worth it when I become insane and go on a shooting spree. Not really though, but it gives you an idea of what I'm dealing with here. Anyways, thank you for reading another one of my grandiose rants.

Thank You Detroit...Pistons

Thankfully, the Pistons beat the Nets tonight, 90-69 was the final. I say thankfully for two reasons, if they had lost, the fans of Detroit would have only had the Tigers in action. Now don't get me wrong, the Tigers look ten times better than they did last year, but that shouldn't be too hard to do after losing 119 games. It is still somewhat doubtful that the Tigers will finish over .500, let alone make the playoffs. Furthermore, if the Pistons had lost, it would have been another major letdown for another Detroit team. The Red Wings are over two weeks removed from another disappointing playoff defeat at the hands of the Calgary Flames.

Speaking of which, how about them Flames? After a grueling seven game series win against the Canucks, a surprising six game series win against the Red Wings, and a less than perfect six game series win against the Sharks, they appear to be unstoppable. This may be a newsflash to some, but the Flames have yet to play up to their full potential. Isn't that a scary thought? I predict a Flames win in the Stanley Cup Finals. It will probably go seven games, but the Flames will find a way to get it done. They have the heart, the hot goalie in Miikka Kiprusoff, and the all-star scorer in Jarome Iginla. Not to mention a very good young defense and a corp of forwards that has speed to burn. In addition to that, they have great fans, like the ones shown in this picture: Calgary Fans

Check out that site for more great pictures! Who says Canadians don't know how to have a good time? Certainly not me.... In fact, they probably know how to have a good time better than me, that is for damn sure. More on that at a later date. On that note, I will end my post. Thank you for visiting and please come again.