I'm one of those people who can't stand April Fools' Day. I don't know, maybe I'm just the Grinch who stole April Fools'-mas or something. I just cannot stand it. I have no idea if I'm in the majority or minority on this, I really don't care. I hate this day with a passion.
Does anyone really, past a certain age, fall for anything? I mean, sure, when I was younger, I probably fell for things. I can't remember anything offhand, but I'm sure there was something. As you get older though, and you've been through a few April Fools' Days, don't you just become wary of any statement made on April the 1st? Don't you just become immune to it all? I know I am now, and I'm sure I'm not alone in that regard. Some people obviously fall for things on April Fools' Day, or else people wouldn't even attempt to fool them.
So, why do people do it? Why do people try to fool other people? I just have never understood it. What satisfaction do you get out of it? Is it just a fun game that you play to see if you can pull the wool over people's eyes and trick them? I don't know, I just don't see the fun in it because I figure people should know better. It seems like shooting fish in a barrel. I don't consider it an impressive feat to fool people on a day that they should expect it. Maybe I'm giving people too much credit? Are there really people out there that fall for things, on a consistent basis, year after year? Is anybody out there? Anybody there? Does anybody wonder? Anybody care?
I tend to be skeptical by nature, and I'm even more skeptical than normal on April 1st. I don't trust anything I hear from anyone on this day. From the moment the clock strikes midnight on April the 1st, to the moment it strikes midnight on April the 2nd, anything that anyone says is suspect. Any announcement that is made, no matter how major it seems, is questioned. No person, no matter how close they are to me, is to be trusted. I wouldn't even believe my own mother if she called me up and told me she had cancer. No one, under any circumstances, is to be trusted on this day. Absolutely nobody.
Thankfully, as I'm putting the finishing touches on this post, it's no longer April 1st. I won't have to deal with this god awful day for another year. And that's the best part of April Fools' Day, when it's finally over. So until next time...fuck you, San Diego and April Fools' Day.
Showing posts with label Holiday. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Holiday. Show all posts
Thursday, April 01, 2010
Tuesday, February 02, 2010
Groundhog Day
Here's something I've never understood about Groundhog Day. If the groundhog doesn't see his shadow, then there is an early spring (meaning winter will end soon). If the groundhog does see his shadow, then there is six more weeks of winter. If I am understanding this right, I just don't get it.
If the groundhog doesn't see his shadow, it means it's cloudy out. And if it's cloudy out, it means the weather is shitty (unless you like the clouds better than the sun, but most people don't). And if the weather is shitty, you would expect it to take a longer period of time for the weather to get better. But no, the groundhog says otherwise. The groundhog says that if I don't see my shadow, there will be an early spring, and the weather won't be shitty for very much longer.
If, however, the groundhog does see his shadow, it means it's sunny out. And if it's sunny out, it means the weather isn't as shitty (it's still pretty shitty, but relatively speaking, it's not as shitty). And if the weather isn't as shitty, you would expect it to take a shorter period of time for the weather to get better. But no, the groundhog says otherwise. The groundhog says that if I do see my shadow, there will be six more weeks of winter, and the weather will be shitty for a little longer.
Am I understanding this right, or am I missing something? I can never wrap my mind around this. I always think that if he doesn't see his shadow, it's a bad thing. And if he does see his shadow, it's a good thing (remember, the opposite is true). I really don't believe in the prognosticative abilities of a rodent, but it appears that some people do. And to me, the people that believe in it have their logic all out of whack.
Or maybe it is I who have my logic all out of whack? Maybe it is some kind of reverse mojo, where the opposite of what you think is supposed to happen happens. The only thing I can think of is that the groundhog is afraid of his shadow, and if he sees it, he gets pissed off and says, "Screw you guys, I'm going home. And enjoy your six more weeks of winter. I'll be in my burrow if you need me, masturbating to Play Gopher, and wondering how much wood could a woodchuck suck if a woodchuck could suck wood." I guess I can respect that, but it's still confusing to me.
Oh, and for the record, Punxsutawney Phil did see his shadow today, so it looks like we're headed for six more weeks of winter (according to Phil). So thanks a lot, Phil. Thanks for pussing out over a shadow, and a little one at that. I have half a mind to come over there and kidnap you, then drive you off a cliff, laughing like a maniac as we're falling to our death. Where is Bill Murray when you need him, am I right?
If the groundhog doesn't see his shadow, it means it's cloudy out. And if it's cloudy out, it means the weather is shitty (unless you like the clouds better than the sun, but most people don't). And if the weather is shitty, you would expect it to take a longer period of time for the weather to get better. But no, the groundhog says otherwise. The groundhog says that if I don't see my shadow, there will be an early spring, and the weather won't be shitty for very much longer.
If, however, the groundhog does see his shadow, it means it's sunny out. And if it's sunny out, it means the weather isn't as shitty (it's still pretty shitty, but relatively speaking, it's not as shitty). And if the weather isn't as shitty, you would expect it to take a shorter period of time for the weather to get better. But no, the groundhog says otherwise. The groundhog says that if I do see my shadow, there will be six more weeks of winter, and the weather will be shitty for a little longer.
Am I understanding this right, or am I missing something? I can never wrap my mind around this. I always think that if he doesn't see his shadow, it's a bad thing. And if he does see his shadow, it's a good thing (remember, the opposite is true). I really don't believe in the prognosticative abilities of a rodent, but it appears that some people do. And to me, the people that believe in it have their logic all out of whack.
Or maybe it is I who have my logic all out of whack? Maybe it is some kind of reverse mojo, where the opposite of what you think is supposed to happen happens. The only thing I can think of is that the groundhog is afraid of his shadow, and if he sees it, he gets pissed off and says, "Screw you guys, I'm going home. And enjoy your six more weeks of winter. I'll be in my burrow if you need me, masturbating to Play Gopher, and wondering how much wood could a woodchuck suck if a woodchuck could suck wood." I guess I can respect that, but it's still confusing to me.
Oh, and for the record, Punxsutawney Phil did see his shadow today, so it looks like we're headed for six more weeks of winter (according to Phil). So thanks a lot, Phil. Thanks for pussing out over a shadow, and a little one at that. I have half a mind to come over there and kidnap you, then drive you off a cliff, laughing like a maniac as we're falling to our death. Where is Bill Murray when you need him, am I right?
Wednesday, November 11, 2009
Thank you to all the Veterans
I would just like to take some time out of my day to write a post thanking all the Veterans out there. I am referring to all past, present and future Veterans, but I will try to stick with the present tense in this post.
You are doing a job that I know I could never do. I don't think that you get enough credit for the sacrifices you make everyday. To be away from home for great lengths of time, not able to see your friends and family, that alone is tough enough. Add to it the fact that your life is in danger on a daily basis, that you have to shoot at people, get shot at, deal with bombs, landmines, IEDs and the fucking ice capades. Those two simple truths are enough to make me realize that I could never do what you do. You are all very brave and I thank you from the bottom of my heart.
I know that I sometimes take my freedoms for granted. Everyone does, at one time or another. Without you though, I wouldn't be able to say whatever the hell I feel like saying. I wouldn't be able to do whatever I feel like doing. I wouldn't be typing this right now. These are all things that I enjoy doing, and without you, I wouldn't be able to do them. So I thank you for that.
And no matter how unhappy I am sometimes, about life and the way the world works, I know that I have it pretty good in this country. It isn't perfect by any stretch of the imagination, and I don't always like it, but I know that I wouldn't be as happy somewhere else. This is the country for me and I'm happy to have been born here. Thank you to all the Veterans for making this country a great place to live. Without you, that most certainly wouldn't be the case.
I'm sure everyone knows at least one Veteran, so be sure to thank them today. They need to know that what they do does not go unnoticed or unappreciated. We must recognize the sacrifices they make for us and today is the day to recognize those sacrifices. That's not to say that you shouldn't recognize those sacrifices any other day, but today it is especially important to recognize the Veterans and to thank them.
In closing, thank you to all the Veterans out there!
You are doing a job that I know I could never do. I don't think that you get enough credit for the sacrifices you make everyday. To be away from home for great lengths of time, not able to see your friends and family, that alone is tough enough. Add to it the fact that your life is in danger on a daily basis, that you have to shoot at people, get shot at, deal with bombs, landmines, IEDs and the fucking ice capades. Those two simple truths are enough to make me realize that I could never do what you do. You are all very brave and I thank you from the bottom of my heart.
I know that I sometimes take my freedoms for granted. Everyone does, at one time or another. Without you though, I wouldn't be able to say whatever the hell I feel like saying. I wouldn't be able to do whatever I feel like doing. I wouldn't be typing this right now. These are all things that I enjoy doing, and without you, I wouldn't be able to do them. So I thank you for that.
And no matter how unhappy I am sometimes, about life and the way the world works, I know that I have it pretty good in this country. It isn't perfect by any stretch of the imagination, and I don't always like it, but I know that I wouldn't be as happy somewhere else. This is the country for me and I'm happy to have been born here. Thank you to all the Veterans for making this country a great place to live. Without you, that most certainly wouldn't be the case.
I'm sure everyone knows at least one Veteran, so be sure to thank them today. They need to know that what they do does not go unnoticed or unappreciated. We must recognize the sacrifices they make for us and today is the day to recognize those sacrifices. That's not to say that you shouldn't recognize those sacrifices any other day, but today it is especially important to recognize the Veterans and to thank them.
In closing, thank you to all the Veterans out there!
Monday, May 31, 2004
Happy Memorial Day
Well, today wasn't as bad as it could have been. I had to work, which clearly wasn't the highlight of my day, but it wasn't that bad. Work wasn't as busy as I expected it to be, and I didn't have to deal with too many drunks, which was a good thing. I did see my fair share of drunks though, but they all were of the pleasant variety.
Memorial Day is the unoffical, or offical, however you want to look at it, start of summer. That means revealing shirts, short shorts, and nice tans for the ladies. That is the good thing about my job, I get to see all kinds of good-looking women. Today was a perfect example of what I am talking about. A nice looking girl had a white shirt on that I could see through. Here is the kicker though, she wasn't wearing a bra. Let me just say this, America needs more of this. I have a message to all the pretty ladies reading this, ditch the bra. At the risk of sounding like a Michelob Light commerical, nature should never be tamed. Sadly though, according to my calculations, only between 0 and 0.4 girls read this. We all know the mathematical rules, if it is below 0.5, you must round down, so zero girls read this. I wish I could say more good things about my job, but that is the only good thing about my job though.
I have decided to start a new feature on my blog. It will be called Ken's Top Ten. I know, I know, what an original idea. I am thinking about making this a monthly thing, even if I have to steal some ideas from someone else. I will be starting it in the month of June, and I know that you all are looking forward to it (end sarcasm) for sure. Enough about that though, this could go down as my shortest post ever, so I will end it now. To everyone who is reading this: Happy Memorial Day!
Memorial Day is the unoffical, or offical, however you want to look at it, start of summer. That means revealing shirts, short shorts, and nice tans for the ladies. That is the good thing about my job, I get to see all kinds of good-looking women. Today was a perfect example of what I am talking about. A nice looking girl had a white shirt on that I could see through. Here is the kicker though, she wasn't wearing a bra. Let me just say this, America needs more of this. I have a message to all the pretty ladies reading this, ditch the bra. At the risk of sounding like a Michelob Light commerical, nature should never be tamed. Sadly though, according to my calculations, only between 0 and 0.4 girls read this. We all know the mathematical rules, if it is below 0.5, you must round down, so zero girls read this. I wish I could say more good things about my job, but that is the only good thing about my job though.
I have decided to start a new feature on my blog. It will be called Ken's Top Ten. I know, I know, what an original idea. I am thinking about making this a monthly thing, even if I have to steal some ideas from someone else. I will be starting it in the month of June, and I know that you all are looking forward to it (end sarcasm) for sure. Enough about that though, this could go down as my shortest post ever, so I will end it now. To everyone who is reading this: Happy Memorial Day!
Sunday, May 30, 2004
Memorial Day Weekend
I haven't posted in a while, mostly because I have been pretty busy lately. Afterall, it is Memorial Day weekend. I haven't been busy doing anything exciting, but I have been busy nonetheless. I worked on Friday and Saturday, which consumed most of those two days. On days that I work, it is hard to find time to do anything that day, besides work. I usually work the 3-11 shift, so by the time I wake up, eat breakfast, and take a shower, it is almost time to go to work.
I also have to work tomorrow, which, as most of you are aware, is Memorial Day. Should be another fun (end sarcasm) day, especially because it is a holiday. I expect a lot more drunks than usual, along with the general chaos that always seems to come with working a holiday. The reason for that is fairly obvious though, very few businesses are open on a holiday, except 7-11.
Oh 7-11, why do you torture your employees so? I know that I am not the only one working on Memorial Day. I mean, I'll be working with a co-worker, so we'll be the only two people working in the United States. All kidding aside, that isn't the point. My point is that I am pissed off because I get scheduled to work on all the God damn holidays. I have been working at 7-11 for about a year, and in that year, I have had to work on every holiday. Even the shitty nonsignificant ones, such as Hanukkah and the Chinese New Year. Seriously though, since April of 2003, which is when I started my job, I have had to work each and every holiday.
Let me start with the beginning: In April of 2003, I had to work on Easter. In May of 2003, I had to work on my birthday (I know, not a holiday, but it still sucked) and Memorial Day, which I will also be working this year. In July of 2003, I had to work on the Fourth of July, and I suspect that I'll have to work it again this year. In September of 2003, I had to work on Labor Day, which, by the way, is suppose to be a day set aside for the working man. I could be wrong here, but I am a working man. Did I miss a fucking memo or something? I see no other possible explanation for this great atrocity, but I want some God damn answers. In October of 2003, I had to work on Halloween, which was no big deal. However, here come the ones that really piss me off....
In November of 2003, I had to work on Thanksgiving. In December of 2003, I had to work on Christmas. Now, I am not religious or anything, so I don't give a fuck about the religious aspect of Christmas, but I do like spending time with my family. I even had to work on December 31st, 2003, better known as New Year's Eve. I would go on, but I am fairly certain that I have made my point. I thought I would leave this trend in 2003, but it appears to have continued on into 2004. It may sound like I am making a mountain out of a mole hill here, but I just can't seem to understand what the hell is going on.
I don't blame anyone, except in the case of having to work on Christmas. I blame that one on the owners because they are allowed to close on Christmas, but they don't. The term, anything for a buck, pretty much describes the two owners, in a nutshell. They are also living proof that, if given the chance, anyone can successfuly own a 7-11. Isn't that what the American dream is all about though? I guess so, but more on their incompetence at a later date.
Enough about work, let me tell you what I did today. I went with a few family members and friends to the St. Clair Shores Memorial Day parade. I have been going every year for quite some time now, and even though I am not very fond of parades, it is always a good time. This year was no exception, I had an enjoyable afternoon. Anyways, I doubt that anyone has made it this far, so I will quit while I am ahead, or behind, whichever is funnier....
I also have to work tomorrow, which, as most of you are aware, is Memorial Day. Should be another fun (end sarcasm) day, especially because it is a holiday. I expect a lot more drunks than usual, along with the general chaos that always seems to come with working a holiday. The reason for that is fairly obvious though, very few businesses are open on a holiday, except 7-11.
Oh 7-11, why do you torture your employees so? I know that I am not the only one working on Memorial Day. I mean, I'll be working with a co-worker, so we'll be the only two people working in the United States. All kidding aside, that isn't the point. My point is that I am pissed off because I get scheduled to work on all the God damn holidays. I have been working at 7-11 for about a year, and in that year, I have had to work on every holiday. Even the shitty nonsignificant ones, such as Hanukkah and the Chinese New Year. Seriously though, since April of 2003, which is when I started my job, I have had to work each and every holiday.
Let me start with the beginning: In April of 2003, I had to work on Easter. In May of 2003, I had to work on my birthday (I know, not a holiday, but it still sucked) and Memorial Day, which I will also be working this year. In July of 2003, I had to work on the Fourth of July, and I suspect that I'll have to work it again this year. In September of 2003, I had to work on Labor Day, which, by the way, is suppose to be a day set aside for the working man. I could be wrong here, but I am a working man. Did I miss a fucking memo or something? I see no other possible explanation for this great atrocity, but I want some God damn answers. In October of 2003, I had to work on Halloween, which was no big deal. However, here come the ones that really piss me off....
In November of 2003, I had to work on Thanksgiving. In December of 2003, I had to work on Christmas. Now, I am not religious or anything, so I don't give a fuck about the religious aspect of Christmas, but I do like spending time with my family. I even had to work on December 31st, 2003, better known as New Year's Eve. I would go on, but I am fairly certain that I have made my point. I thought I would leave this trend in 2003, but it appears to have continued on into 2004. It may sound like I am making a mountain out of a mole hill here, but I just can't seem to understand what the hell is going on.
I don't blame anyone, except in the case of having to work on Christmas. I blame that one on the owners because they are allowed to close on Christmas, but they don't. The term, anything for a buck, pretty much describes the two owners, in a nutshell. They are also living proof that, if given the chance, anyone can successfuly own a 7-11. Isn't that what the American dream is all about though? I guess so, but more on their incompetence at a later date.
Enough about work, let me tell you what I did today. I went with a few family members and friends to the St. Clair Shores Memorial Day parade. I have been going every year for quite some time now, and even though I am not very fond of parades, it is always a good time. This year was no exception, I had an enjoyable afternoon. Anyways, I doubt that anyone has made it this far, so I will quit while I am ahead, or behind, whichever is funnier....
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