SpongeBob is...

gay? No, this isn't an insult. I'm not a fan of the show...but, apparently, there is an organization that thinks SpongeBob SquarePants is a tool used to promote the tolerance of homosexuals. Don't believe me? Read it for yourself here.

First off, I want to say that this is ridiculous, if true. I'm going to go off on one of my crazy, raging tangents in about a minute, but I have other things about this issue to discussion. So, I did some more research on this, and I found a website that lists an upcoming episode of SpongeBob SquarePants. The episode is entitled: SpongeBob SquarePants - Spongebob Gay Spectacular. Now, I'm not sure how credible this website is, so I went looking some more. Here is that website, if you're interested.

I searched google with the following search terms: SpongeBob SquarePants Spongebob Gay Spectacular. Yes, the same terms as the name of the suspected episode. I figured it was a good place to continue because it had all the terms I was looking for. I didn't find anymore hard evidence on the existence of the episode, but the original website that I looked at says it airs on January 30th. If you didn't already know, that is the same day as the Iraqi elections. Coincidence? Most likely, but I find it a little ironic. You now, it's like rain...on your civil union day. Nevermind....

Okay, my second order of business is to break down the quote. This quote is from the group that made these outrages accusation. Now, this might be a big shock to all of you...this group was a Christian group! Who would have guessed it! A Christian group that has a problem with the gay agenda! That's like the KKK having a problem with "niggers." Anyways, here is the quote I want to break down:

"We see the video as an insidious means by which the organization is manipulating and potentially brainwashing kids," he said. "It is a classic bait and switch." -- Paul Batura, assistant to Mr. Dobson at Focus on the Family

If you didn't already notice, this quote is from the New York Times article above. Since he mentioned the subject of brainwashing, let's talk about that for a second. His group, Focus on the Family, sees the video as an insidious means by which the organization (the organization that made the supposed video supporting the gay agenda) is manipulating and potentially brainwashing kids. I could be wrong, but doesn't that sound a lot like something religion does to children? Religion has been brainwashing people for thousands of years. Gotta get most people while they're young though, to have the best chance to brainwash them! Let's take a brief look at the religious history of brainwashing, shall we?

The Earth is the center of the universe! The only way people will believe that there is a God is if he's focused solely on humans! Nevermind that there are probably millions of planets just like ours elsewhere in the universe! If there is a God, he is focused solely on Earth because we are so fucking great. Well, as you all probably know, and I really hope you do, the Earth isn't the center of the universe. It isn't even the center of the solar system. Despite that fact, this belief went on for thousands of years. We don't believe that the Earth is the center of the universe anymore, but the affect of that ancient belief is still with us today. What I mean by this is people still think that, if there is a God, he is focused only on humans. Now, to me, that notion is completely insane. If God is the creator of the universe, the alpha and the omega, the being that is everywhere and nowhere at the same time, then why wouldn't he create life elsewhere. Why wouldn't he want as many beings worshipping him as possible? And does anyone else have a problem with God being referred to as a him or a he? It makes me think that the people who created Christianity were all men. Oh...that's right. They were! Okay, this is one of my crazy tangents. Although, I'm not raging quite yet, but stay tuned for that.

Back on topic. The quote referred to a "bait and switch." I'm not a man who knows what that term means, so I looked it up online. Here is the definition:

1. the ploy of offering a person something desirable to gain favor (as political support) then thwarting expectations with something less desirable

So, by that definition, the something desirable is the cartoon character SpongeBob. The something less desirable is homosexuality. By using SpongeBob to promote homosexuality, it is somehow wrong because these assholes say it is. And who the hell decided that homosexuality is less desirable? Oh, that's right religion strikes again! I'm tired of religion telling people what is less desirable for them. If you're attracted to the same sex, how is that less desirable to you? Now, I realize that I am stretching the quote a little bit, but my point remains the same. I'm tired of these self-righteous pussies telling other people what they can and cannot do. I'm tired of the wars caused by religion. I'm tired of the intolerance and prejudices people have because of religion. Basically, I'm sick and tired of religion.

Yes, there was a little rage there. I could have gone off a lot more, but I decided not to just yet. I wanted to point out an article I found from the group that is making these accusations. Here it is. The group said that this is all a big misunderstanding. It says that Dr. Dobson, who supposedly said something about SpongeBob being gay, was misquoted. Basically, he said that his words were misrepresented. But, even if his words were misrepresented, his group doesn't promote tolerance. Here is a direct quote from the article:

"While words like 'diversity' and 'unity' sound harmless — even noble — enough, the reality is they are often used by gay activists as cover for teaching children that homosexuality is the moral and biological equivalent to heterosexuality. And there is ample evidence that the We Are Family Foundation shares — and promotes — that view"

Hell yeah! And there is ample evidence that your group is fucking off its rocker! You mother fuckers are so God damn, and yes, I used God's name in vain, caught up with promoting your religious agenda, you fail to realize that not everyone shares your view! I don't share your view, a lot of other people don't share you view, and quite frankly, you view is a bunch of pie in the sky bullshit. The only reason I have any respect for religion is that it keeps people in line. Some people need religion to act the right way. Myself, I don't need anyone to tell me how to act. I lead my life how I want to and I'm still a good person. I've never killed anyone, I've never been arrested, I don't drink, I don't do drugs, I don't gamble and I call my mother. Basically, I don't have many of the so called "vices" that many religious people have. I'm not saying that there is anything wrong with drinking, drugs or gambling. Quite the contrary. I believe that you should be allowed to live your life however you want to. If you want to do drugs, drink, or gamble, that is fine with me. You aren't having any impact on my life. This goes the same for you religious people out there. If you need the crutch of religion to hold you up, that's fine by me. If you want to believe that there is a God, more power to you. I'll see your ass in hell though.

That post was so long, I think my dick grew a couple inches in the process. Yes, wishful thinking, I know, but a guy can hope. Good night everyone! And just for the record, I'm not gay, but I know some of you intolerant bastards will think that....