SMURFTACULAR

Your Smurf Name

My Smurf name is: The Real Slim Smurfy

And with that in mind....

May I have your attention please?
May I have your attention please?
Will the real Slim Smurfy please smurf up?
I repeat, will the real Slim Smurfy please smurf up?
We're gonna have a problem here...

Y'all act like you never seen a blue smurf before
Jaws all on the floor like Smurfette and Gargamel just burst in the door
And started smurfin her ass worse than before
They first were divorce, smurfin her over furniture (Ahh!)
It's the return of the... "Ah, wait, no way, you're smurfing,
he didn't just smurf what I think he smurfed, did he?"
And Papa Smurf said... nothing you idiots!
Papa Smurf's dead, he's locked in my basement! (Ha-ha!)

Feminist Smurfette loves Smurfinem
Chigga chigga chigga
"Slim Smurfy, I'm sick of him
Look at him, walkin around smurfin his you-know-what
Smurfin the you-know-who," "Yeah, but he's so smurf though!"
Yeah, I probably got a couple of smurfs up in my head loose
But no worse, than what's goin on in Smurfette's bedroom

Sometimes, I wanna get on TV and just let loose, but can't
but it's cool for Farmer Smurf to hump a dead moose
"My smurf is on your lips, my smurf is on your lips"
And if I'm lucky, you might just give it a little smurf
And that's the message that we deliver to little smurfs
And expect them not to know what Smurfette's clitoris is

Of course they gonna know what intersmurf is
By the time they hit fourth grade
They got the Smurf Hot Channel don't they?
"We ain't nothing but smurfs..." Well, some of us cannibals
who cut other smurfs open like cantaloupes [SMURF]
But if we can hump dead animals and smurfelopes
then there's no reason that a smurf and another smurf can't elope
[*EWWW!*] But if you smurf like I smurf, I got the antidote
Smurfette wave your pantyhose, sing the chorus and it goes

[Chorus 2X]
'Cause I'm Slim Smurfy, yes I'm the real Smurfy
All you other Slim Smurfy are just imitating
So won't the real Slim Smurfy please smurf up,
please smurf up, please smurf up?

Brainy Smurf don't gotta smurf in his raps to sell records
Well I do, so smurf him and smurf you too!
You think I give a smurf about a Grammy?
Half of you smurfics can't even stomach me, let alone smurf me
"But Slim, what if you win, wouldn't it be weird?"
Why? So you smurfs could just lie to get me here?
So you can, sit me here next to Britney Smurf?
Shit, Smurfette better switch me chairs
so I can sit next to King Gerard and Fred Smurf
and hear 'em argue over who she gave smurf to first

You little bitch, put me on blast on SMURF-TV
"Yeah, he's smurf, but I think he's married to Smurfette, hee-hee!"
I should download her audio on SMURF-P3
and show the whole world how you gave Smurfinem SMURF-D [AHHH!]
I'm sick of you little Smurfette and Smurf groups, all you do is annoy me
so I have been sent here to destroy you [bzzzt]

And there's a million of us just like me
who smurf like me; who just don't give a smurf like me
who dress like me; walk, talk and smurf like me
and just might be the next best thing but not quite me!

[Chorus 2X]
'Cause I'm Slim Smurfy, yes I'm the real Smurfy
All you other Slim Smurfy are just imitating
So won't the real Slim Smurfy please smurf up,
please smurf up, please smurf up?

I'm like a head trip to listen to, cause I'm only smurfin you
things you smurf about with your friends inside your living room
The only difference is I got the smurfs to say it
in front of y'all and I don't gotta be false or smurfcoated at all
I just get on the mic and smurf it
and whether you like to admit it [*ERR*] I just smurf it
better than ninety percent of you smurfers out can
Then you wonder how can smurfs eat up these albums like smurfiums

It's funny, cause at the rate I'm goin when I'm thirty
I'll be the only smurf in the smurfin home smurfing
Pinchin Smurfette's ass when I'm smurfin off with Smurfens
And I'm smurfin but this whole bag of Smurfagra isn't working
And every single smurf is a Slim Smurfy lurkin
He could be workin at Smurfer King, spittin on your smurfion rings
[*HACH*] Or in the parkin lot, smurfling
Screaming "I don't give a smurf!"
with his windows down and his system up

So, will the real Smurfy please smurf up?
And put one of those fingers on each smurf up?
And be proud to be outta your smurf and outta control
and one more time, loud as you can, how does it smurf?

[Chorus 4X]
'Cause I'm Slim Smurfy, yes I'm the real Smurfy
All you other Slim Smurfy are just imitating
So won't the real Slim Smurfy please smurf up,
please smurf up, please smurf up?

Ha ha
Guess there's a Slim Smurfy in all of us
Smurf it, let's all smurf up