Groundhog Day

Here's something I've never understood about Groundhog Day. If the groundhog doesn't see his shadow, then there is an early spring (meaning winter will end soon). If the groundhog does see his shadow, then there is six more weeks of winter. If I am understanding this right, I just don't get it.

If the groundhog doesn't see his shadow, it means it's cloudy out. And if it's cloudy out, it means the weather is shitty (unless you like the clouds better than the sun, but most people don't). And if the weather is shitty, you would expect it to take a longer period of time for the weather to get better. But no, the groundhog says otherwise. The groundhog says that if I don't see my shadow, there will be an early spring, and the weather won't be shitty for very much longer.

If, however, the groundhog does see his shadow, it means it's sunny out. And if it's sunny out, it means the weather isn't as shitty (it's still pretty shitty, but relatively speaking, it's not as shitty). And if the weather isn't as shitty, you would expect it to take a shorter period of time for the weather to get better. But no, the groundhog says otherwise. The groundhog says that if I do see my shadow, there will be six more weeks of winter, and the weather will be shitty for a little longer.

Am I understanding this right, or am I missing something? I can never wrap my mind around this. I always think that if he doesn't see his shadow, it's a bad thing. And if he does see his shadow, it's a good thing (remember, the opposite is true). I really don't believe in the prognosticative abilities of a rodent, but it appears that some people do. And to me, the people that believe in it have their logic all out of whack.

Or maybe it is I who have my logic all out of whack? Maybe it is some kind of reverse mojo, where the opposite of what you think is supposed to happen happens. The only thing I can think of is that the groundhog is afraid of his shadow, and if he sees it, he gets pissed off and says, "Screw you guys, I'm going home. And enjoy your six more weeks of winter. I'll be in my burrow if you need me, masturbating to Play Gopher, and wondering how much wood could a woodchuck suck if a woodchuck could suck wood." I guess I can respect that, but it's still confusing to me.

Oh, and for the record, Punxsutawney Phil did see his shadow today, so it looks like we're headed for six more weeks of winter (according to Phil). So thanks a lot, Phil. Thanks for pussing out over a shadow, and a little one at that. I have half a mind to come over there and kidnap you, then drive you off a cliff, laughing like a maniac as we're falling to our death. Where is Bill Murray when you need him, am I right?