Driving

I don't do much driving, but when I do, I recognize a slew of things that bother me about the way people drive. I must admit, I am definitely not the great driver in the world, far from it. I also have my fair share of bad habits, I suppose, that may make other drivers angry, but I try to keep them to a minimum. Let me just say this though, people need to learn about a little device that I like to call the turn signal. Well, I'm not the only one who calls it by that name, everybody calls it that. But that isn't the point. The point is that people do not know how to use their turn signal properly.

In regards to this issue, there are three classifications of drivers. There are those that use it properly, those that don't use it properly, and those that don't use it at all. I have no beef with the first classification, they use their turn signal correctly. They turn it on at the right time and they use it while changing lanes. Obviously, the first classification of drivers isn't a problem. It is the second classification, and especially the third, that I have a problem with.

Within the second classification, there are two distinct categories of drivers. If I have lost you at this point, hit yourself on the head with a tack hammer because you are a retard. Just kidding, but stay with me here. The first category within this classification deals with drivers who turn their signal on way too early. They turn it on at about an hour before they are going to turn. I am exaggerating here, but there is always one question I would love to ask them: Where the hell are you turning? Are you turning into this driveway, the next driveway, the next one? Are you turning onto this block, the next block, the next one? Why don't you do me a favor and turn into a tree or a telephone pole? Not really though, but please please please, for my sake and for your sake, learn how to use your turn signal. The second category deals with drivers who turn their signal on at the very last moment. These drivers don't seem to care that you are behind them, but they still expect you to stop in time. I have had a few close calls myself, and I can imagine the number of close calls that happen in a day. However, this classification of drivers doesn't bother me that much. They are usually good drivers otherwise, and at least they attempt to use their turn signal....

Which brings me to the third classification of drivers, those that don't use their turn signal whatsoever. I also like to call this group the asshole classification, for obvious reasons. These drivers have no idea where their turn signal is located. Instead of using their turn signal, they furiously weave in and out of lanes, cutting people off in the process. True to their classification, their turn signal is nowhere to be found, even when turning. I could be wrong, but I think the turn signal was put into your car for you to use it. Furthermore, these drivers never call their mothers. That by itself is a disgrace. I have no idea what their problem is. Maybe they have some sort of turn-signal-phobia? Maybe they think that their car is going to explode if they turn on their signal. Maybe they have epilepsy and are afraid that the blinking light will give them a seizure. Whatever their case may be, they need to get over it and use their God damn turn signal.

As I said before, I know I am not perfect. Always use your best judgment while driving. I am not going to tell you when to turn on your turn signal, but the least you can do is use it. Also, try not to turn your signal on at the last second, this is almost as bad as not using it. It is also important to note that "the man" requires me to do at least one public service announcement per month. Next month I'll probably do it on something less important, such as airplane turbulence. Check out this link for the hilarious details: PSA on Airplane Turbulence