When The Levee Breaks

Yeah, I'm back. I decided to update tonight. Partly because I'm bored, and partly because I haven't updated in quite some time. Nothing new to report. I have been thinking a lot about this blog lately. I don't really post much, and my life isn't that interesting, so I am thinking about turning it into one of two things. I am either going to turn it into a parking lot, because there is no parking on my street, or I am going to turn it into a comedy blog. I'm sure the former would be more productive, seeing as how I'm probably not that funny, but I have been feeling the comedy itch lately. Usually when I have an itch, I put some anti-itch cream on, but this time that didn't work.

I am currently in a discussion with my buddy Rich about the merits of going to a titty bar. I think that it degrads woman. However, I have no problem watching pornography, which is equally degrading to woman. As you can tell, I'm in a bit of a quagmire here. And I'm not talking about Quagmire from Family Guy, although he is great and that is a fantastic show. Speaking of Family Guy, new episodes on May 1st. May is going to be a great month. New Family Guy episodes, the conclusion to the Star Wars trilogy, and my 21st birthday. I also get out of school. May is looking up, but I still gotta make it through April. You know what they say though, golden showers, she's deflowered.

Well, that is a nice segue into my next topic. I listen to Loveline, as you may or may not know. It's a nationally syndicated radio program and it is great. Adam Carolla stated on a previous show that a lot of sayings that we use today need to be updated to fit the 21st century. For example, pull yourself up by your bootstraps. Kids aren't dropping this saying, and sayings like it, anymore. Instead of that saying though, he came up with, pull yourself up by your thong back. I am now on a quest to come up with a few more of my own. Look for that in the future.

And now for something completely different. I remember, from my philosphy class last semester, that Descartes came up with a proof for the existence of God. I have come up with something similiar.

Ken's Proof for the Existence of a Black God
1. God made man in his form
2. Man has a penis
3. God is not the lesser to man in any aspect

If these three principles hold true, and if there is a God, God must have an enormous penis. Since white men typically have small penises (I really think peni should be the plural of penis, but I could have used penes), the only logical conclusion one can make is that God is black.

While, I have committed enough heresies for one night. Good night, and I'll see you all in hell!