Daylight Saving Time

When I was younger, someone told me that the reason we do Daylight Saving Time is for the farmers. As I've gotten older though, I've come to realize that that makes no sense at all. Why the hell would it matter to the farmers? It's not like it magically adds an hour of daylight everyday. It just moves the time daylight happens during the duration of Daylight Saving Time. Instead of the sun rising at 6 AM and setting at 6 PM, it just moves it to 7 AM and 7 PM. The farmers are probably pissed, if anything. It's an unnecessary shift to them (as well as to me).

Daylight Saving Time needs to die in a fire. Seriously. I don't care how much energy it conserves (allegedly). I don't care if it makes my whites whiter and my brights brighter (I have OxiClean for that anyway). And I don't care if it services me orally everyday between now and when we fall back in November (don't ask me how this would work, use your imagination if you must). I even don't care if it cures cancer and feeds all the hungry children in Africa (Error: the hyperbolic quota for this post has been exceeded). I don't care about any of this, it just needs to go.

I might be being selfish here, but it screws me up for weeks. Instead of going to bed around half past midnight tonight, I'll be going to bed around 1:30 AM. And instead of waking up at 9 AM tomorrow, I'll be waking up at 10 AM. And instead of writing this post today at 9:30 PM, I'm writing it at 10:30 PM. All this time travel is causing me to see some serious shit, and I'm not even going the requisite 88 miles per hour. The name Daylight Saving Time should be changed to Daylight Screwup Ken's Internal Clock and Cause Him Weeks Worth of Anguish Time. Well, maybe not. DSKICCHWWAT is too long of an acronym to remember.

In closing, the power of love is a curious thing. It makes one man weep, and makes another man sing. It can change a hawk to a little white dove. It's more than a feeling, that's the power of love. It's tougher than diamonds, and rich like cream. It's stronger and harder than a bad girl's dream. It makes a bad one good, and makes a wrong one right. It's the power of love that keeps you home at night. And you don't need money, and it doesn't take fame. You don't need a credit card to ride this train. It's strong and it's sudden and it's cruel sometimes, but it might just save your life. That's the power of love.