Ken's Top Ten

Well folks, today is the day that I debut my top ten. Finally, the moment you all have been waiting for.

This won't be a traditional top ten, mostly because I may find the need to provide some additional commentary. So without further ado...

The top ten things that I've wanted to ask during a customer transaction, but have always been too afraid to ask:

Number 10
When a customer asks, Can you break a hundred? I always want to say:

Does this look like a fucking bank to you?

People come in with hundred dollar bills all the times. I usually have to decline their request because we aren't allowed to keep that kind of money in the drawer. Obviously, some people fail to realize that 7-11 is often a place that gets robbed. Since I've been working at 7-11, I haven't experienced a robbery, but there are times that I worry about getting robbed, especially with certain customers.

Number 9
When a person comes in, stumbling drunk, I often want to say:

Could I interest you in some Chaser tablets?

Number 8
When an attractive lady comes up to the counter with a twinkie, I often want to ask:

Would you like a ding dong with your twinkie?

Number 7
When someone complains about the price of an item, I often want to go off on them by saying:

Listen asshole, if I made the prices around here, do you think I'd be standing behind this counter?

Once again, people fail to realize that the cashiers do not make the prices. Don't complain to me about the God damn prices, I just work here.

Number 6
When a big breasted women walks up to the counter with multiple slurpees, I sometimes want to ask:

Would you like a breastholder...I mean, would you like a cupholder?

Number 5
When a person asks to buy some Zig Zags, I often want to inquire about what they are using them for by saying:

Are you a pothead, focker?

Number 4
When a heavyset person walks up to the register with a few bags full of donuts, I always want to ask them one question, which is:

Hey fatty, are you going to eat all those donuts by yourself?

Number 3
When an unattractive lady walks up to the counter with a few items, I often want to ask:

Would you like a paper bag for your head?

Number 2
When a good-looking women walks up to the register with a box of condoms, I frequently want to ask:

Who is the lucky guy?

Number 1

When a female sets a package of tampons on the counter, I always want to ask:

Is it that time of the month again?

I hope you all enjoyed my top ten. If not, screw you, I would like to see you do better. Anyways, I am off to my sister's commencements, so I will be ending this post now. There is one more thing I want to say before I go though...Gooooo Pistons!