Nonsense

Okay, so I should really be doing some homework about now, but instead, I'm going to update my blog.

So far, my classes are decent, I guess. I mean, I thought I was going to get into them a lot more than I am right now, but maybe it will take me a few weeks to get back into school. As usual, I am slacking off again, hoping it doesn't bite me in the ass this time. Like I said, it usually doesn't. I always do fine, but this year it just looks like it might be a different story. I mean, I am not motivated to do anything at all, maybe there is something wrong with me? I don't know, but I'll keep you updated (as if you care).

In other news, Team USA just lost to Canada, 2-1. For those of you who don't know (which I'm sure is all of America), I'm talking hockey here. It was a good game, and it should be a good World Cup (with Canada most likely winning). I really hope Team USA wins, but tonight they looked rather old (they are the oldest team in the tournament). The NHL should really pay attention to how hockey is played during the World Cup because that is how it should be played. What do I mean by that? I mean that the officials actually call interfence (imagine that), and with the larger ice surface, it gives more room for the skilled players. I'm not saying the NHL should expand the ice surface, but it is rather refreshing to see the skilled players at work. In the NHL today, the neutral zone trap is really bogging the game down, and it would be nice to see more end-to-end action in an NHL hockey game. Oh well, even if they NHL does nothing to the game, I'll still watch it (assuming there is a season next year). Hockey really is an amazing game, and if you don't like it you're a communist (there, I said it), plain and simple....

Okay, so my bowling league starts back up on September 13th. I went to the meeting yesterday and we talked about the bylaws and such. If you didn't know, the team consists of my friends Matt, Paul, Donnie, and the team drunkard, a guy named Kirby (he is also a friend). Kirby is an older guy, I think in his mid-40's. We needed a fifth person, and Donnie's dad worked with a guy that wanted to bowl, so we let him on the team. What a mistake that was.... Just kidding, Kirby has turned out great, he is the heart and soul of the team. Last year, we essentially started during the second half, so we didn't get to bowl the entire season. We ended up in 4th place (out of 12) for the second half and last place overall because we didn't bowl the first half. I'm hoping that this year will be a different story. It is a handicapped league, so anyone can win, but I really like our chances. I mean, for one, only one person (possibly two) drinks on our team, so we have the advantage there. In addition to that, we have a nice mix of averages. I have a 170 average, Matt has an average around 140, Paul also has an average around 140, Kirby has an average around 190, and Donnie also has an average around 190.

Well, I guess that is all I have to say tonight. Have a good night everyone.

First Day of Class (Wednesday) and Other Things on my Mind

Well, I wanted to post about this yesterday, but I didn't have enough time. So, I am going to post about it today.

I had my first day of fall classes on Wednesday. I had political science in the moring (from 10:00-11:40) and then philosophy in the afternoon (from 12:30-1:55). I am very excited about both classes, but I think I might have some trouble in the philosophy class. I have to write four papers for that class, so I am definitely not looking forward to that. Oh well, the class should be good times. The professor was very nice, and she had a very interesting life story. My political science class should also be good times. The professor seemed a little liberal, but she assured the class that she was fairly straight down the middle. Either way, I can't wait for the class discussions to begin. I also had my bowling class today, which should be fun.

With the start of the semester, I find myself falling back to my old habits. I keep telling myself that I need to stop, but to no avail. My old habits mostly consist of me procrastinating, but it is not just limited to that. I also waste time by looking for other sources on the Internet (which means I don't spend enough time on the important material). Oh well, these habits haven't negatively effected my grades yet, so I guess I can live with them for now.

Well, once again, I have run out of time. I am now off to work for the day, and then tomorrow, I have to work in the morning. End of transmission.

Politics

I'm going to start off with an interesting website I heard about on a local political radio show. For those of you who don't listen, his name is Peter Werbe and you can check him out here. Also, if you're in the Metro Detroit area, you can listen to him, on Sunday, from 11 p.m. until 1 a.m. (eastern standard time). If you are not local, I've got some good news for you. If you're interested in the show, you can listen to the streaming broadcast here at the aforementioned date and at the aforementioned time.

Okay, on with the interesting website. This particular website (which can be reached by clicking on the title of this post or by clicking here) is "a bi-partisan website that allows you to cast votes on core election issues." In other words, you pick an issue at random, then select the platform you agree with most, then continue on with that process until you have picked all the issues. I have decided to take this voting survey (I guess you would call it that) and then share my results with you. Okay, so here goes:

Issue One: Drugs
Agree With: Kerry

Issue Two: Gay Rights
Agree With: Kerry

Issue Three: Abortion
Agree With: Kerry

Issue Four: Education
Agree With: Kerry

Issue Five: Crime
Agree With: Bush

Issue Six: Technology
Agree With: Kerry

Issue Seven: Why Running for Office
Agree With: Kerry

Issue Eight: Key Issues
Agree With: Kerry

Issue Nine: Rumsfeld
Agree With: Kerry

Issue Ten: Gas Supply
Agree With: Kerry

Issue Eleven: Death Penalty
Agree With: Kerry

Issue Twelve: Affirmative Action
Agree With: Bush

Issue Thirteen: Civil Rights
Agree With: Kerry

Issue Fourteen: Foreign Policy
Agree With: Kerry

Issue Fifteen: Jobs
Agree With: Bush

Issue Sixteen: Iraq
Agree With: Kerry

Issue Seventeen: Environment
Agree With: Kerry

Issue Eighteen: Economy
Agree With: Kerry

Issue Nineteen: Homeland Security
Agree With: Kerry

Issue Twenty: Social Security
Agree With: Bush

Issue Twenty-One: Women's Issues
Agree With: Kerry

Issue Twenty-Two: Healthcare
Agree With: Kerry

Issue Twenty-Three: Service Record
Agree With: Kerry

Issue Twenty-Four: Taxes
Agree With: Kerry

Issue Twenty-Five: Gun Control
Agree With: Bush

Issue Twenty-Six: Global Trade
Agree With: Kerry

Issue Twenty-Seven: Immigration
Agree With: Bush

Issue Twenty-Eight: Families
Agree With: Kerry

Issue Twenty-Nine: Campaign
Agree With: Kerry

Issue Thirty: National Defense
Agree With: Bush

Issue Thirty-One: Welfare and Poverty
Agree With: Kerry

My Voting Record:
G.W. Bush: 7
J.F. Kerry: 24

Well, let me just say one thing about that voting survey. If you were just a little informed (I consider myself to be middle ground when it comes to the informed department) you would have known which canditate was which after reading each platform. So, that could have lead you to pick your favorite canditate, instead of being honest about it and picking the platform you most agree with. I don't think I did that myself, but maybe subconsciously I did. Anyways, I figured I'd agree with Kerry on a 2:1 ratio, but it looks like that is more like a 3:1 ratio.

I had more to talk about tonight, but it looks like my time has run out. I have class tomorrow at 10 in the morning, so I better get to bed. Good night everyone, and please take that voting survey and post your results as a comment to this post.

Top Ten

In the spirit of the Olympic games, I present to you, Ken's Top Ten Sexlympic Events. Okay, so let me explain the format. First, I'll give you the event, then I'll give you my best one-liner, and then some additional commentary.

Here goes:

Ken's Top Ten Sexlympic Events

Number 10

Women's Breaststroke

These women must have tested very high on the stroke-ability scale...there is no other way they could do the breaststroke for 200 meters. (oh, and that's about 656 feet, for all you metrically challenged people out there)

Let me just say one thing about the metric system. The United States really missed the boat by not adopting it. Instead of having an easy to use system, which is common place throughout the world, we are now stuck with the shitty standard system, possibly forever. I mean, really, the metric system is far superior to the traditional system, but the United States will probably never fully adopt the metric system. I can't wait until 2020, I swear to Allah, I'm running for president and there will be many (and I stress the word many) changes in this country. Yeah, I know, that is what they all say, but I really mean it.


Number 9

Trampoline

And now...girls jumping on trampolines!

Do you like The Man Show? I sure did, with emphasis on the word did. Joe Rogan and Doug Stanhope do a decent job, but no one can top Adam and Jimmy. Comedy Central should change the name of the show or something, because it is clearly not as good as it once was. That is to be expected though because Adam and Jimmy made the show extremely entertaining. I mean, it is sort of like when a band gets a new lead singer, the band mine as well change its name, because nine times out of ten, it sounds like a completely different band. What I am getting at is this, they need to change the name of the show to something else because the show will never live up to the high standards of its name. Cancling the show is another possibility...I know I don't enjoy it as much as I did with Adam and Jimmy as the hosts, and I'm sure a lot of fans feel the same way I do.

Number 8

Snatch (weight lifting)

I wouldn't want to touch the snatch of the women participants with a 3.04800 meter pole. (a little metric humor for you there)

Have you seen any of the women in the weight lifting events? If not, I suggest you check them out. Let me forewarn you though, it isn't very pretty...it is definitely bad bad bad (I can't stress the word bad enough) times. Some of them have airpit hair, so it suffice to say that there isn't a looker in the bunch. To put it bluntly, these women look like Oompa Loompa's on steroids. It should come as no surprise to see the absence of American women. I certainly haven't seen any, and I highly doubt that an American woman could make the cut. I mean, I'm not saying American women are weak or anything, I just don't think any American woman would want to look like these women do. Basically, I'm just saying it is a cultural difference, or something of that nature.

Number 7

Women's Gymnastics

Yeah baby, put your legs behind your head and hold it for five minutes, you know it's my favorite position....

Okay, here we are, moving from one extreme to the next. On one hand, you have the women's weight lifters, who basically look like men dressed in drag. On the other hand, you have the women's gymnastics teams, who basically look like fuckable human-pretzels. Yeah, I know, some of them are underage, but I'd be willing to wait for some of them. I would go as far as to say that we could do all the positions of the kama sutra in one night, but I can't go all night. Well, let me take that back, I can go all night, I just choose not to....

Number 6

Boxing

I could go for some punching of the clown, how about you?

For those of you who don't know, punching the clown is a masturbatory term, akin to flogging the dolphin and beating the proverbial meat. Try it sometime, I guarantee you'll gain great satisfaction from getting in the the ring with a clown. A little advice though, it is hard to whack off with boxing gloves on (believe me, I've tried it), so be sure to take them off....

Number 5

Handball

I was just checking for cancer...I swear! (I know, this is turning into a bunch of bad masturbation jokes, but I'm trying here, so give me a break)

Ah, the old, I was just checking for cancer, trick. It is an oldie but a goodie. I also like the, I had a runny nose, routine. You pull that one out of your bag of tricks when someone asks you why you have an excessive amount of kleenex in your trash basket. No one can call you out on it, and it works every time. I'd like to call myself the Guru of Jack, even though I probably don't deserve the title, but I'm claiming it anyways. Don't like it? Tough cookies, pal!

Number 4

Shooting (thanks to Rich for mentioning the event)

I'm probably not as accurate as some of the other skeet shooters, but at least I'm good for distance.

If you didn't already know, skeet is a euphemism for semen. Don't believe me? If you have any doubts, check out this link. I don't just make this stuff up people. I mean, if the word is on urbandictionary.com, it must be true! Am I right or am I right? Or am I right? Anyways, just so you know, my penis is good for distance. My semen was the first semen in space, I have the plaque from NASA and everything. Good news for all you ladies out there, my accuracy is horrible, so that means I won't get any in your eye.

Number 3

Women's Wrestling

I could be wrong, but there's always room for jello, right?

Okay, with the inception of the bikini-clad cheerleaders at volleyball matches this year, you would think they'd have women's jello wrestling by now? Hell, I'd settle for mud wrestling, but I digress. Seriously though, who thought it was a good idea to have women's wrestling (without jello or mud, no less) at the Olympics? It is a new event this year, but I highly doubt it goes over too well. To jazz it up, I would hope for jello, but like I said, mud would work just as well. I don't care how many letters we have to write to the Olympic Committee, we need to unite on this one!

Number 2

Diving

Nowadays even the girls enjoy (muff) diving! (thanks to Rich for his contributions on the one-liner)

Not much I can say about that one. If you don't get it, check out urbandictionary.com. Did I mention that this blog is brought to you by urbandictionary.com? Go there for all your urban dictionary needs, or something. Really though, urbandictionary.com is, quite possibly, the best site on the web (next to this site, of course). If you have never been there before, I highly recommend checking it out. Oh, but before you check out urbandictionary.com, be sure to stick around for the grand finale of my top ten.

Number 1

Clean and Jerk (weight lifting)

Sounds like something I do in the shower....

Okay, that is three, count them, three masturbation jokes. In other words, that is roughly a third of my top ten. Hey, what can I say, I stick with what I know. Seriously though, could anyone explain the history behind the name of this event? I just find it to be a strange name for a weight lifthing event, but I don't know much about weight lifthing. In other words, I'm weak, and I'm sure all of the women Olympians of this event could kick my ass. That isn't saying a lot though, I'm sure they could kick just about anyone's ass they wanted to.

Well, that is all for my top ten. I really hope you enjoyed it because I put a lot of time and effort into it this time. I am thinking about starting a new segment on my blog, so more details on that at a later date. Oh, and just a little note for myself, I put a counter at the end of my blog, on this date, at around 6:00 p.m. eastern standard time. End of transmission.

Just Amazing

Wow! Two updates within a few hours? What is the world coming to? I have never updated my blog so soon, but this could not wait for another day. Okay, so just a few minutes ago, while browsing through usatoday.com, I came acrossed something rather "interesting." You see, the reason I put interesting in quotes isn't obvious now, but it will be in a few short moments. Click here to see what I'm talking about.

Okay, so if you still haven't figured out what I am talking about, take a very close look at that "graph" (and I use the term graph loosely). Let me point out the headline: "65% of fireworks injuries occur around July 4th." Oh boy, wow! I mean, who would have thought that 65% of fireworks injuries occur around the fucking fourth of July. I mean, the fourth of July isn't known for its firework displays or anything, so that is just amazing. I never knew that it was common practice to light fireworks during the fourth of July, so it is really surprising that injuries, caused by fireworks no less, happen so frequently during that time. Jeez, I was wondering what all those loud noises and bright flashes in the sky were about, I just thought I was having flashbacks to my Vietnam days (I am 20, by the way). To quote Forest Gump, "We was always taking long walks, and we was always looking for a guy named 'Charlie.'"

If you haven't picked up my sarcasm yet, you should get your sarcasm sensor checked because I am laying it on pretty thick. I mean, really, that is the best USA Today could do for that days snapshot? Just for your reference, that snapshot appeared on the July 29th edition of USA Today. You know what, I need to get my people on this one. I don't care how many letters I have to write, USA Today does not deserve the title of "The Nation's Newspaper." I am kidding, by the way, I usually enjoy USA Today, but that little snapshot got me going. It must have seemed like a good idea at the time, but all it did was state the obvious. It is okay to state the obvious sometimes, but to actually waste space on the front page of a newspaper...well, that is inexcusable. I mean, they couldn't have posted a picture of a missing kid instead? Or possibly a used car ad? Anything would have been better than that piece of work....

Oh, and this entry would not be complete without another quote from Forest Gump: "...and that's all I gotta say about that." Thank you and good night.

Yeah, Yeah, Yeah...

Yeah, I've heard your complaints. "Ken, why don't you update more often?" Well, that depends, do you want the short answer or the long answer. The short answer is that my life is too boring, so I never have anything interesting to post about. Sure, I could come on my blog and do my best to make up some interesting story, and believe me, I have tried in the past, but it usually ends up turning into a disaster (which will also be the fate of this post, as well). Oh, so you say you want the long answer? Well, since I'm white, I don't have too much experience dealing with long things, so I'll quit while I'm ahead, or behind, whichever is funnier.

In reality, the long answer is about the same length as the short answer. To put it bluntly, I am just too damn lazy. It isn't like I'm slow at typing or anything like that, I am a fast typer, and I suspect that has something to do with my problem. You see, I pretty much spend most of my days on the Internet, except when I'm working, sleeping, or masturbating (even then, I'm on the Internet sometimes). That is all that I need to survive, and I like it that way. I am beginning to think I'm a vampire though, because I rarely go out in the daylight. Don't get the wrong idea here, I have friends, I just never get around to hanging out with them. I am perfectly content with spending hours on the computer, but I do enjoy going out occasionally. You might be saying to yourself, "self, if Ken is on the Internet all the damn time, then why doesn't he update more often?" That is a good question, and I'll have to get back to you on that one....

So enough about that, how about a real update? I have been working 40 hours a week for basically the whole summer, and I am actually enjoying it. Yes, I still hate my job, but it beats the alternative, which is unemployment. That is my new motto in life, and I think everyone should adopt that motto. Whenever I think of something, I think of the alternative to determine which is better (or which is worse). Sure, everybody hates people that are constantly happy, but hell, it sure beats people that are always in a bad mood. Who would you rather deal with, a person that is actually stupid, but thinks that they know it all, or a smart person who thinks that they are dumb. I'd go with the latter on that one, but that is just my opinion because I hate dealing with stupid know-it-alls.

Okay, I have a question for anyone that has a dog. In the middle of the night, have you ever accidently stepped on or tripped over your dog? I find myself doing it at least once a week, some weeks more. I always find it rather amusing, at least from my perspective. I mean, the dog has no fucking clue what you're doing. You always get that unknowing look and it must be thinking, "what the fuck is this asshole hitting me for!?" It probably thinks we are doing it on purpose, but in all actuality, we can't see for shit during the night, so we have no idea where they are. Don't get me wrong, I usually remember to step carefully during the night, but some nights I'm just not paying attention, so I sometimes end up stumbling over a dog. Oh well, God damn dogs. I mean, both my dogs have pillows and we place them out of the walkway, so if they were on the pillows, this wouldn't keep happening. I still feel bad though, I just wish they would realize that I'm not doing it on purpose.

Alright, I would like to take the time to voice a complaint. I would just like to give a big fuck you to all you assholes over at Adult Swim (which is on Cartoon Network). You bastards got rid of Aqua Teen Hunger Force! To anyone who has never seen the show, shame on you! It was truly a great show, and it will be missed immensely. I am saddened by the loss, but then I remembered that Adult Swim is the reason that Fox brought back Family Guy, which has new episodes coming out next year. Mad props to Adult Swim for that. Adult Swim also showed that, if given the chance, Futurama can be a successful show. Futurama is another one of those shows (along with Family Guy), that got cancled before its time. I hope that Fox realizes that and also brings back Futurama. If you like Futurama, you can check out this interview with Billy West.

Well, that is enough for now. I had more, but I figured I should save it for my next post (and who knows when that will be). Thank you for visiting my blog, and good night!

Top Ten

Well, I wanted to do a meaningful top ten, but I never got around to following through on the lists I wanted to create. I mean, I had a few ideas, but I just didn't put much thought into them. So instead, I will post a quick top ten that doesn't take much time or effort. Also, I promise to come up with a more extravagant (and possibly humorous) top ten next month. Okay, I have decided to make a list of my ten favorite Led Zeppelin songs, along with my favorite lyrical portion of each respective song. So without further stalling for time, I give you my Top Ten Led Zeppelin Songs:

Ken's Top Ten Led Zeppelin Songs

Number 10
Whole Lotta Love

"Shake for me, girl. I wanna be your backdoor man."

Number 9
Dazed and Confused

"Been dazed and confused for so long, it's not true.
Wanted a woman, never bargained for you.
Take it easy baby, let them say what they will.
(Will your) tongue wag so much when I send you the bill?"

Number 8
Misty Mountain Hop

"So I'm packing my bags for the Misty Mountains
Where the spirits go now,
Over the hills where the spirits fly, ooh."

Number 7
Black Dog

"Eyes that shine burning red, dreams of you all through my head."

Number 6
Heartbreaker

"One thing I do have on my mind, if you can clarify please do,
It's the way you call me by another guy's name when I try to make love to you."

A fascinating sidenote, Jenna Jameson's nickname is heartbreaker. Interestingly enough, she was given that nickname by her father. In addition to that, her brother finished off her trademark double-heart tattoo (which, by the way, is on her ass) by tattooing the word heartbreaker on it. Sounds like a delightful family, but speaking of finishing off, I need to finish off this list and then go finish off myself, if you catch my drift. All this talk about Jenna is making my groinal area rise like an easy bake oven.

Number 5
Ramble On

"Got no time to for spreadin' roots, The time has come to be gone.
And to' our health we drank a thousand times, it's time to Ramble On."

This song should definitely be my theme, I tend to ramble on quite often....

Number 4
D'yer Mak'er

"When I read the letter you wrote, it made me mad mad mad
When I read the news that it brought me, it made me sad sad sad.
But I still love you so, I can't let you go
I love you - ooh baby I love you."

Number 3
Ten Years Gone

"Then as it was, then again it will be
And though the course may change sometimes
Rivers always reach the sea."

Number 2
Kashmir

"Oh, pilot of the storm who leaves no trace, like thoughts inside a dream
Heed the path that led me to that place, yellow desert stream
My Shangri-La beneath the summer moon, I will return again
Sure as the dust that floats high in June, when movin' through Kashmir."

Okay, I have to ask this question in hopes that someone has the answer. Does anyone know if Puff Daddy (or P Diddy, whatever he is calling himself these days) did a remake of this song? A friend of mine told me he did, but he didn't know the name of the remake. I also remember hearing an instrumental of this song over a commerical, but I'm not sure which commerical it was or who was playing the musical rendition. Does anyone have any further insight into my questions?

Number 1
Stairway to Heaven

"If there's a bustle in your hedgerow, don't be alarmed now,
It's just a spring clean for the May queen.
Yes, there are two paths you can go by, but in the long run
There's still time to change the road you're on."

Two words describe this song, simply amazing. Oh, and fucking sweet, as well. Listen, if you don't like this song, listen to it carefully and you'll hear a lyrical genius at work. This song also contains one of my favorite guitar solos, which makes me want to learn to play the guitar. You might be saying to youself, self, Ken isn't religious, so why does his favorite song of all-time contain the theme of Heaven? To answer your question, you don't have to believe in heaven (or hell) to like a song that has a religious overtone. Do you have to believe in Santa Clause to like Christmas music? I think not, so that same rule applies here.

Well, there you have it, Ken's Top Ten Led Zeppelin Songs. I hope you enjoyed the list and my additional commentary on certain songs. Oh, and let me just say this, it was harder than expected to make this list. I mean, I could have easily went with a top 20 list, or possibly a top 30 list. This post would be incomplete if I didn't at least mention other favorites, so here are the honorable mentions: All of my Love, Communication Breakdown, Dancing Days, Good Times Bad Times, Hey Hey What Can I Do, Immigrant Song, Living Loving Maid, Nobody's Fault But Mine, Over the Hills and Far Away, Rock and Roll (just barely missed the cut), Tangerine, The Ocean, and a few others. That is all for now, and I bid you a good night.

Wow

Wow, I didn't realize it until just now, but it has been over a week since I last updated. So, I guess it is time for an update then, here goes:

Nothing that interesting really, I have just been working and that is about it. I did pick my classes for the fall semester though. I am taking philosophy, political science, and a bowling class, for a total of nine credit hours. I am thinking about taking another class, uping my workload to 12 credit hours, but I really don't think I should. The reason I don't think I should is because my previous major, which was networking, isn't working out, so I need some time to think about a new one. I figure that if I get the electives out of the way (by taking those nine credits my electives will be done), it will be easier to pick a major because then I can just concentrate on the new major and not electives. So that is probably my plan, and I think I'm sticking to it.

I went to my friend Jason's graduation party on Sunday. It was a good time, but let me just say this. Does every graduation party have to have the exact same food? I have been to a few graduation parties this summer, and at every single one, it is the exact same food as the previous one. I am getting tired of it, and I think the government should step in and start regulating the food choices at graduation parties. I mean, I like mostaccioli as much as the next guy, but does it really have to be at every graduation party? Why can't I have lobster and steak? If you want to be on the cheap side, why not order some pizza or possibly a sub? The point is that I want to see a little more variety in the foods selection at graduation parties. It is probably just me though, I am too picky when it comes to food, so I will forgive the graduating populous for now.

On another note, I have come to the realization that I am some kind of pseudo-celebrity. As you may or may not know, I work at 7-11, so I see a lot of people everyday. That means that just about anywhere I go in the Greater Detroit area, I usually have to deal with someone that notices me from work. Yes, I am that guy that works at 7-11, and yes I have a life outside of the slurpee business, thank you very much. I mean, I don't have a problem with the majority of people I see, but I would just like to have a friendly exchange that doesn't involve someone bring up the fact that I work at 7-11. Despite what I may write on this blog, I don't have a major problem with working at 7-11, but I don't want to be known as "that guy who works at 7-11."

I had more I wanted to say, but I have to go to work, so it will have to wait for another time. I know, I keep promising to post things at a later date, but I never seem to get around to it. I am going to have to go back through all my posts to remember what I wanted to talk about at a later date, and maybe finally post about them sometime, so you'll have that to look forwad to. I also have to come up with my Top Ten List by Saturday, so look for that too. Okay, I am done, later everyone.

Good Times

Nothing important to post about really, just a few thoughts I've had recently. To start off, let me provide you with a little backstory. So, I spent the majority of my Saturday afternoon at my cousin's graduation party. It was alright, I didn't do anything exciting, but I did play some horseshoes (which I really suck at, by the way), a little football, and some volleyball. After the party, I went bowling with my friends Paul, Matt, Jimmy, Mark, and a few other people. On the way to the bowling alley, the subject of masturbation came up. Matt, Mark, Jimmy, and I were in the car, and we decided to come up with a slogan for KY Jelly. It didn't take long before Matt came up with: "Don't go dry, use KY." No one could top that, so we decided to send it in to the company that manufactures KY. Let me tell you all one thing, this little slogan could make us millions, or at the very least a lifetime supply of KY jelly. Well, the company would probably be better off if they just gave us the millions, considering the rate at which I masturbate, but that is neither here nor there.

Okay, so enough about that, moving on to a different subject. So, everyday coming home from work, I pass a little place called "Gentle Dentist." Now, is it just me or did this place miss a layup and a half. I mean, they couldn't have called it Gentle Dental? Whoever owns that place should be very ashamed. I should write a letter to them demanding that they change their name. The God damn name flows so much better because it rhymes. I mean, what would have happened if Fudge didn't use the slogan "Fudge for Judge." I'll tell you what would have happened, he would have lost the election, and he'd be hitting rock bottom right about now. Well, probably not, but he would have lost the election, and that would have been a crime in and of itself, albeit a victimless crime.

Speaking of victimless crimes, the topic of homosexual sodomy has been indirectly discussed on this blog, so it is a nice little segue for my next revelation. Okay, so today while at work, I got to thinking...why doesn't God rain on all the gay pride parades? I mean, if God hates gays so much, why doesn't he just thwart their pride right then and there. Without their pride, the gays are nothing more than glorified ass explorers. To me, this is just further proof that there is no God, but I'll let you make your own conclusions.

Well, that is all the A-rated comedy (which in all actuality is probably D-rated comedy, but I digress) that I have for you tonight. Maybe I'll post again tomorrow because I don't work, but no promises. Good night everyone.

Go Tigers!

Great win tonight, the Tigers beat the Yankees 8-0. Mike Maroth didn't need much run support, but he got it anyway. The Tigers offense came alive in the second inning, with a triple by Carlos Guillen that scored a run, and a two-run homer by Eric Munson. The offense didn't stop there though, it continued on with five runs in the fifth inning. The Tigers offense was clearly in full gear, but the real story was the pitching performance of Maroth. Maroth pitched a complete game, giving up no runs and one hit. It was his first career shutout, and it couldn't have come at a better time for the Tigers. The Tigers lost to the Yankees yesterday, 5-1, but with the win tonight, and with the White Sox loss tonight, they are just 4.5 games back of the White Sox for first place in the central division.

Well, if you haven't been watching Jeopardy the past month or so, you are missing out on an amazing person. His name is Ken Jennings and he just won his 33rd consecutive show tonight. He has won over 1,000,000 dollars (I think he has a little over 1,100,000 at this point). I really don't see this guy losing, he is practically unbeatable. I mean, I haven't watched every single epiosode since he's been on because of work, but from what I have seen, no one is ever close to him. I hope he can keep it up, and I'm sure that is the hope of CBS, he is probably the biggest draw since the show "Fast Animals, Slow Children." You can check him out here: Click on the Daily Update icon.

Well, that is all for tonight. I have my cousin's graduation party tomorrow and then I have to work Sunday-Tuesday, so I probably won't be updating again for a few days. I really want to start updating daily again, or at least every other day, but I don't know if that is possible. I still have to do a top ten for this month, so at least you'll have that to look forward to. So until next time, thank you and good night.

Happy Fourth of July

Well, today is the Fourth of July, and I am happy to report that I don't have to work. It should be a nice day today, I am going over my grandparent's house later on to light some fireworks. I just went, along with my dad, mom, and brother, to buy some fireworks. We also went out to breakfast at Coney Island, but for some reason, the food wasn't that good today. Coney is usually great, so today must have been an off day for the cooks.

Anyways, the reason we go over to my grandparent's house is because we live on a busy street, so it is hard to light fireworks here. My grandparents also seem to enjoy it, so that is an added bonus. We usually go to their house earlier in the day, but this year we aren't going over there until around sunset. My dad has a lot to do today, so that is why we aren't going over there until later on.

Enough about that though, I really don't have a purpose to post today, aside from the fact that it is the Fourth of July. The Fourth of July has always been one of my favorite holidays. Christmas and Thanksgiving are the only two that surpass it for me, so that obviously means that it is my third favorite holiday.

This day always makes me feel happy to be an American. Sure America has a few downfalls, but what country doesn't? No place is perfect, but America (along with a few other countries) is pretty close. No matter what I may say about certain things or certain politicians (see Dubya), I am glad to live in America.

America has always had a lot of potential, but it will never reach its full potential with idiots like Dubya running the ship. Kerry isn't much better, but I am willing to vote for him just to get Dubya out of office. I mean, if you are as much against Bush as I am, your slogan should be "Anybody But Bush" at this point. Who knows, maybe in another four years we'll have some decent candidates to vote for, but right now, Kerry is the lesser of two evils. It was pretty much the same choice in 2000, but the wrong candidate won. Let's not make the same mistake again people, it is a crucial time in America and it is time for change. A friend of mine brought this website to my attention, so go check it out if you are against Bush.

Well, that is pretty much all I wanted to say. If I think of anything else, I will post again tomorrow. I hope everyone in America has a happy fourth of July, but try to stay safe with those fireworks. Today is a day for us to celebrate America, and it is not a day for a hospital visit. Keep safe everyone and have a wonderful fourth of July!

Good News

Well, I've got some good news. I just saved a ton of money on my car insurance by switching to Geico. No wait, that isn't right, let me start over.

Well, I've got some good news. At this moment, I am not working on the fourth of July! I am so fucking happy! If I had to work on the fourth, I would have been so pissed. For one, Sunday is grocery day at 7-11, so I would have to put all the stock on the shelves. For two, we have a little fireworks display inside the store, so I would have to deal with that all day. For three, I would miss out on some fireworks of my own, which would have pissed me off the most.

In addition to all that, whenever you work any holiday, you have to deal with assholes that say, "Hey, doesn't it suck that you have to work on {insert holiday here}?" It is times like these that I just want to fucking go off on people. I mean, are some people really that inconsiderate. Yes, I know, it fucking sucks that I have to work on Christmas, I am well aware of that fact. Yes, I know, it blows balls that I have to work on Easter, thanks for bringing it up dickhead. Listen, to all you people who say stupid shit like that, think before you open your mouth. Think, if I were in that situation, would I want to be asked that very question.

Now, this wouldn't be a big deal, if just one person asked me it throughout the day, but that never happens. I always have to deal with it at work four or five times a holiday. By the third person, I reach my threshold for tolerance. Sometimes, I just want to jump over the counter and start stabbing wildly at the person with a slurpee straw. Once the fourth person asks me the question, I am about ready to just walk out of the place, never to return again, but I never do anything that drastic. I usually just say, "yes it does suck" or something like that. I just wish I could do something more, but I don't want to do anything illegal or say something that would cause me to lose my job. I hate my job, but I don't want to lose it. It is quite the predicament, but I think that I'll manage until I finish college.

Anyways, it is getting late and I should be off to bed. Good morning, good afternoon, good evening, and good night.

Graduation Summary

Despite the fact that I am a day late on my promised update, I will recap my sister's graduation party. I got to the party at 2:30, so by the time I got there, the party had already started. That wasn't a big deal or anything, but I wanted to be there when it started at 2:00. It was mostly my fault because I forgot to set my alarm, so I didn't wake up till 10:30. By the time I got up, ate breakfast, and took a shower, everyone in my house was gone. So I had to wait for my dad, and he didn't pick me up until 2:00 or so.

Anyways, after I went around and said hello to everyone I could, I went over to look at my sister's picture board. The majority of the picture board consisted of events from my sister's childhood, and so I was naturally in some of the pictures. Seeing those pictures made me realize that I miss being a kid sometimes. It was a nice picture board, and it brought back a lot of fond memories of simpler times.

Eventually, 4 o'clock rolled around, and it was time to eat. There was a lot of good food there, but I wasn't that hungry, so I had a few pieces of turkey. After I finished eating, I went around and talked to a few relatives and whatnot. I also played some euchre with my friends and also went inside the house to play Mario Party with a few of my younger cousins. It was a fun time, but there wasn't much else to do there except sit down and talk.

The party got a little boring around 7 o'clock, so a few of my friends suggested that we go play basketball somewhere. There was a basketball court nearby, but it was packed with people, so we decided to leave the party to go and play some basketball at the usual spot. For those of you who don't know, which I am sure is most of you, the usual spot is in the street, in front of a friend's house. I am not very good at basketball, but it is good exercise and always reminds me that I need to get in shape. We played basketball for about two hours, and then we realized that the city of Roseville was having a fireworks show that night. So we headed over to another friend's house to watch the fireworks. We walked around for a while, even as the fireworks were going, and then we finally decided to head back over to my sister's party.

We got back to my sister's party at around 10:30 p.m. and sat next to the bonfire for a while. I put on some music and just sat there and looked up at the stars for about an hour. After that got boring, I decided to get a euchre game started. I played euchre for a while, I think until one in the morning or so. Finally, the party was almost dead, and the only people left had to stay the night because they were underage drinkers. Most of my friends also left at 1:00, so I just sat next to the bonfire and talked to my dad, and my sister's boyfriend Paul. Finally at around 2:00, my dad was ready to go home, so we said good bye to everyone and left.

That summarizes my whole Saturday at my sister's graduation party. Nothing too exciting happened, but I just thought I'd let you all know. I had a lot of fun though, I got to see some family members, I got to hang out with my friends, and most importantly, my sister got her day to celebrate her graduation from high school.

On a different note, I forced my sister to make a blog. Check it out here or under my links section. She doesn't know if she wants to get into blogging, but I told her to give it a try. We'll see how that goes, but I think that she will like doing it.

Swallowed followed, heavy about everything but my love

Well, today I was browsing through my favorites list, trying to remove a few outdated links, and I came across an old news article that I found rather interesting. I remember cracking a joke about it, to a few friends, and now that I have a blog, I am going to crack the same joke to all of you. It is my blog after all, so on with it. Okay, so before I go on, I just want to point out that the link to the article is contained in my title, and by that I mean you must click on the title of this post to read the article. If for whatever reason that doesn't work, you can click on it here: MSNBC

Fairly recently, the FDA approved the use of a chewable form of birth control. It can be swallowed or chewed, so long as the woman drinks a glass of liquid after chewing it. Is it just me or I am the only one who would not want a women who can't swallow? I mean, if she can't swallow a pill, imagine what else she won't swallow. Listen fellas, stay away from the women who are on this contraceptive, they are bad news.

Oh, and just a little disclaimer here, I am only joking, so don't take me too seriously. I have no problem with a girl not swallowing, in fact, I think it is wrong to expect a women to swallow. I have no idea why certain guys expect their girlfriend to swallow. Maybe they think it disrespects their manhood, I don't know, but I certainly wouldn't feel that way. I've had this very discussion with a few of my friends, and I am always amazed when they tell me that they expect the girl to swallow.

Alright, enough about that. Well today was another glorious day at 7-11. It actually wasn't that bad, it went by relatively fast and painless, very similiar to my last masturbation session. As I said before, the only thing that I like about my job is the hot girls that come in, and today didn't disappoint. The highlight of my day was clearly the girl who had pierced nipples, with a white shirt on and no bra. I mean, you could see right through her shirt, and you could just make out the piercings. Let me tell you, it almost brought a tear to my eye, and it certainly brought a bulge to my groinal area.

Well, tomorrow is the day of my sister's graduation party and it should be good times. It starts at 2 p.m. and will last long into the night. I usually play euchre all day at parties, and tomorrow should be no exception. It will also be nice to see a few relatives that I haven't seen in a while, and also to observe the drunken state of a few choice people. We are having the party at my Uncle Bob's house, which should be nice because he has a good party house. He has a bar set up in his backroom and also a big backyard, so it shouldn't be too crowded. I asked my dad if we could bring our two dogs to the party, but he shot down my request. I tried to bring up the fact that the dogs would be home alone all day, but he just wouldn't allow it, and finally I gave up. It pisses me off though, they wouldn't be a problem or anything, so I don't see why not. Besides, my uncle has a dog, so it isn't like it is a dog free environment to begin with. Whatever though, it should be an awesome time regardless.

Anyways, I should be off to bed, it is getting late. Look for a possible update tomorrow night or Sunday afternoon, if anything happens that is blog worthy. Merry Snoodmas to all, and to all a snood night, which pretty much means good night or something.

Same Old, Same Old

Well, I am off to another wonderful day of life. I will be working 3-10 today, so there goes pretty much my whole day, as usual. I wanted to go see the movie Dodgeball yesterday, but that didn't work out. I usually go to see movies with my sister and her boyfriend, but those assholes already went to see Dodgeball on Monday. They both knew I wanted to go see it, but they couldn't wait until I had a day off. Oh well, I guess I'll have to find someone else to go see it with. The thing with movies is you can't go see them by yourself, it is very similar to a restaurant in that regard. I mean, you can go see a movie or go to a restaurant by yourself, but it just feels weird, to me at least.

I still want to see the movie Saved, preferably with Ryan because we were suppose to go see it last week, but that doesn't seem likely, at least anytime soon. I work today, tomorrow, and Friday. Then on Saturday I have my sister's graduation party, so I will be busy all day. During the rest of the week, I work Sunday, but I am off Monday, so possibly then. Then I work Tuesday, Wednesday, and Thursday. I hate working the 3-11 shift, but that is the only one available to me at my job. I also hate my job, but who doesn't? Work is work, I guess, but I'm tired of it already. I guess I should be grateful that I have a job, but I just wish it was a job that wasn't the same shit every single day. Oh well, this job motivates me to finish college, so that I can stay out of dead-end jobs like 7-11.

While you're here, why don't you check out my latest definition at urbandictionary.com: Bater Hater
Check out all my other definitions there too, I submit under the pseudonym of IAMSODOT.

Since I have time, I will tell you the story of why I use the name, IAMSODOT. Back in the day, during my high school years, I spent every Saturday at my friend Donnie's house. Our mutual friend Jason would often be there, usually eating everything in sight. Back then, we were big into a computer game called Team Fortress Classic, but I was never very good at it. Jason was slightly better than me, and Donnie was pretty good. For those of you who don't know, TFC is a Half-Life mod, and for those of you who don't know what Half-Life is, it is a first person shooter game. TFC is also a FPS, but it differs substantially from Half-Life. TFC is more team oriented, as the name implies. Instead of running around and killing everything that moves, you actually have a greater purpose in TFC. On certain maps, you capture the flag. On other maps, you try to move a flag to a certain location, while the other team defends that location, trying to stop you from reaching it. On the vast majority of maps you picked one of nine classes to play, but there were also certain maps that were sniper-only maps. These maps were our favorite, and this is where my story begins.

In TFC, there are groups called clans, which give you a unique status and also a clan tag. Clans are a close association of people, who often team up to go against other clans in clan matches. In order to get into a good clan, you have to meet certain requirements or pass a test that they give you.

Jason and I were never really that serious about the game, but Donnie was and he soon caught the eye of a sniper-only clan, known as the Dot Clan. The clan leader gave him a test, and he passed it with flying colors. He was then allowed into the clan and given the name [ . ] DonCat, which was the clan tag. After that, he thought he was hot shit, so we always tried to knock him down a few notches. When he first starting bringing up that he was in the Dot Clan, we would just ignore him. That is, until he started bringing it up a lot. He thought he was better than us, and he probably was, but we weren't going to let him think that. So whenever he mentioned the Dot Clan, we would say things to him like, "Look at me, I'm in the Dot Clan" or we would recite the Dot Clan motto, which was "Simply the Best." In addition to that, whenever we killed anyone in TFC, we would say "Dot" just to piss Donnie off.

It was fun times, that is until Jason and I got Donnie kicked out of the Dot Clan. We really didn't do anythig wrong, all we did was go on the Dot server and harassed a few clan members. Some may call it harassment, but I suspect that the Dot members were just jealous of our mad skillz. Oh, and it might also have something to do with the fact that we went on Donnie's ICQ and fucked around with a few choice Dot members, but it was all in good fun. Like I said, we really didn't do anything that bad, but the leader of Dot was not amused. Our antics, despite the fact that they were absolutely hilarious, got Donnie kicked out of the Dot Clan. Nevertheless, the process of getting him kicked out was almost as fun as hassling Donnie, but we still felt bad about it. We apologized to him, and he got over it.

Soon after Donnie's premature departure from the Dot Clan, I felt the need to create an AOL screename, in remembrance of the good times and the bad. This couldn't be just any screename, it had to also poke a little fun at Donnie. I carefully deliberate my options, and soon came up with the screename of IAMSODOT. That is my story and I'm sticking to it!

Well that is it for my story. I hope you were mildly entertained by it. Oh, and before I forget, I would just like to thank Ryan for putting in the code for my links bar. He is the fucking man, and he deserves mad props. Anyways, I am off to work, so until next time, Mahalo.

Hooray! An Update?!

Yeah, so I haven't posted to my blog in a while. I haven't been really busy or anything, it is just a lack of effort on my part. That is pretty much the story of my life, but that is how I am sometimes. My biggest problem is that I want to do too many things at once. I start one thing, find something else that seems more interesting, waste a good few days to a week on it, and then finally realize that it isn't worth my time. Enough about that though, I want to briefly go over a few things that have happened since the last time I posted.

The Pistons won the NBA Championship and Detroit didn't burn down, so that is always good. I would have liked to see the MVP of the Finals go to Ben Wallace, but Billups was also deserving. The Pistons should be around for years to come, and if they can re-sign Sheed, they will definitely be back next year. The only thing I hate about the success of the Pistons is all the bandwagon fans. I have been a Pistons fan since the days of Grant Hill, which isn't a very long time, but I am only 20. Even before Grant Hill was a Piston, I remember rooting for the Pistons, but I didn't really begin to understand basketball until the Pistons drafted Hill. I must admit though, basketball is not my favorite sport, hockey and football are my top two, and baseball is slightly ahead of it, but it is still entertaining nonetheless.

Okay, that covers everything I wanted to say about the Pistons, so I will be moving on to my next subject. Well, work has been pretty interesting lately. It seems that the owners want the employees to start wearing 7-11 shirts and name tags, which shouldn't be a big deal to me, but for some reason it is. I don't know, I just don't understand the point of it I guess. I mean, do customers really care if I am wearing a shirt and name tag? Would you not go to a certain 7-11 just because the employees weren't wearing 7-11 shirts and name tags? I can hear the people now, "Let's not go to that 7-11, they don't wear the proper 7-11 ensemble." Listen, I am behind the counter the majority of the time, I think people know that I am an employee of the place. When I'm not behind the counter, I am usually working on something, so it should be fairly easy to tell that I am an employee. That probably isn't the point, but that is my point to the owners. There is probably money in it for them, so that is all it is about. I just wish the owners would come out and say it is for the money, instead of making up some bullshit excuse about how it required in the new contract. I understand that it is required in the new contract, but I know they are getting more money for having their employees wear the 7-11 attire. How about giving me a God damn raise with some of that money? Yeah, like that will ever happen....

Summer is the time of year for graduation parties. I have been to a few over the past week and I have my sister's party coming up next Saturday. I am really looking forward to next Saturday, it should be nice to see some family members that I haven't seen in a while. It is also fun to watch people get drunk of their ass. I personally don't drink, I have tried it a few times and still can't understand what the big deal is. Would anyone care to enlighten me? I mean, I never did it by myself, I always had people around me when I was drinking, but I never felt like I was having more fun than when I was sober. Maybe I was with the wrong people, but I highly doubt that. I have no problem with other people drinking though, I like to watch how people act, in general, and I especially like to watch how drunk people act and react to certain situations.

I have exhausted most of my time before work, so I will end this post now. I would promise to update more often in the future, but I don't know if I can make that sort of commitment....

Jimmy Kimmel

Okay, I am sure all of you have heard about the remark made by Jimmy Kimmel the other night. He made this comment during half-time of game 2 in the Lakers-Pistons series. If you didn't hear it or hear about it, he said that Detroit would burn if the Pistons won the NBA championship. His remark made major news in Detroit, it was aired on all the local Detroit news channels, including channel 7, which was the station that carried the game last night. Now, it seems that Kimmel is in some hot water, as evidence by him not being on right now. I am not sure if it just in Detroit, but it is a little after 12:05 AM, and channel 7 has the Wayne Brady show on. If you didn't already know, Kimmel is suppose to start at 12:05 AM....

The reason for me bringing this up is very simple and possibly surprising. I am here to defend Kimmel. Listen people, Kimmel is a comedian, he obviously meant it jokingly. Am I the only one who can take a God damn joke anymore? What have we become as a society here? Everyone has to be so politically correct nowadays. We can't say anything anymore without offending someone. For those of you who are easily offended, here is something to try, why don't you develop a sense of humor? Learn to take a God damn joke, and if you can't, just learn to deal with it.

Don't get me wrong here, I am not advocating anything that is way over the line, such as extreme racial bigotry or blatant religious hatred, but come on. Kimmel made one comment about arson and now everyone in Detroit wants his head. Even the aforementioned topics of race and religion have a place in comedy. Have you ever watched Chris Rock? A vast majority of his comedy routine deals with racial topics. How about Dave Chappell? He does a lot of hilarious skits that stereotype certain races. Ever watch George Carlin do stand-up? He makes various comments about his nonbelief in God, which could be conceived as religious hatred. As you can see, even the taboo subjects of race and religion are not off limits.

Some may say that Kimmel was not joking when he made his comment. To that I say this, how do you know? Even if he comes out and says that he wasn't joking, big fucking deal. He isn't the first person to take a shot at Detroit. He may or may not have been out of line, if he wasn't joking, but seriously, it is nothing to lose sleep over. It is not like The Jimmy Kimmel Live show is all that popular. Personally, I think that Kimmel is great and I love his show, but it is not for the easily offended. If you have a problem with Kimmel, or anything that he says or does, all you have to do is change the channel. Even if he is on during a sports broadcast, you simply change the station and then switch back in five minutes. If he isn't doing his show, he won't be on for more than five minutes. Is it really that hard to change the channel? You'll be changing the channel and buring some calories at the same time. It is a win-win situation.

I have stated my position on this, so I will end my post here. Please comment if you feel the need to...I know that there are a few of you out there.

I'm Sailing Away

God damn Pistons. They had that fucking game within reach. The score was 89-83 with 47 seconds to go. Somehow, Someway, they let the game slip away. Let me just bring up the two turning points of the game.

Turning point number one, fouling Shaq on a layup that made it 89-85, with the foul shot coming. He had no business getting fouled on that layup, he had an easy basket. There was no reason, whatsoever, to foul him on that play. I think Ben got the foul, so I will forgive him, but I originally thought that Sheed got the foul, and at that point I was so pissed at Sheed. Don't get me wrong, Sheed is a great player, but he has got to be one of the dumbest mother fuckers on the basketball court. Anyway, without that foul, the score would have been 89-85, or a two possession game. Kobe could have made that last three-pointer, and it wouldn't have mattered at all.

Turning point number two, coming out flat in the OT. Two points in the overtime is inexcusable. Also, someone please tell me why Sheed is throwing up the three-pointer with the Pistons down six? If anyone should be shooting the ball in that situation, it should be Chauncey or Rip, preferably Chauncey. The three-ball isn't Sheed's shot, he is at his best when backing the ball in just outside the paint, then turning and gunning it in.

I am a little fired up tonight, mostly because of the Pistons loss. No big deal though, it is only one game, and the Pistons have shown everyone that they can hang with the Lakers. There was very little doubt in my mind, but that clearly wasn't the case with the jackass media.

Speaking of Jack...asses, how about that fucking dickhead Jack Nicholson. That mother fucker gets way too much God damn camera time, which, by the way, is no big deal...if he is in a movie, but is a big deal during a basketball game. Take the fucking camera off that old bag of bones and put it on the ass of some hot Californian bitch. Am I the only one who is tired of seeing him piss and moan after every single call that goes against the Lakers? Who cares that he is there, he is at every fucking Lakers home game, enough with him already. Great, he is a fan. Great, he is at the game, again. Take the fucking camera and put it elsewhere. Thank you and good night.

The Dentist

So I received some oral (treatment) today. Not the kind that I enjoy the most, of course, but yeah, oral treatment nonetheless. I have always feared going to the dentist, but today was different. I actually looked forward to going, for some reason. Anyways, the lady that cleaned me teeth was very nice. She wasn't that bad looking either. She told me that I kinda look like Justin Timberlake, so I was all like, you better take that back, but I guess it was a compliment. Her co-workers agreed as well, but I just didn't see what they were talking about....

Whatever, I've also been told, on more than one occassion, that I look like Tobey Maguire, better known as the guy who plays Spider-Man. That I can see, just a litle bit, but Justin Timberlake? Do I really look that gay? Although, he was hitting Britney, so that is always a plus. Just for the record, I have nothing major against Justin, he probably isn't gay, but he isn't somebody I want to look like.

This brings me to a question that I would like to ask everyone. Have you ever been told that you look like a celebrity? If so, who? Also, if you know what I look like, I would like you to tell me if you agree with my two celebrity comparisons. That is all for tonight, I am tired because I was at work and just got off. I am about to get off again, before I go to bed...but you didn't need to know that, did you? Thank you and good night. Also, here is a Family Guy quote generator that I found:

Random Family Guy Quotes

Kids These Days

Okay, I've been meaning to bring up a certain issue on my blog for quite some time now. The issue that I am speaking of deals with what I like to call "tricked out" cars. You know what I'm talking about here, cars with ground effects, spinners, hydraulics, loud ass speaker systems, and other unneeded accessories. People who have this shit have either, A) watched The Fast and the Furious one to many times, B) are rich fucks who have money to blow, or C) kids with no bills to pay, who can't think of a better use for their money.

Let me continue with the latter mentioned cateogry. The majority of "tricked out" cars have a teenager in the driver's seat. I was, just one week ago, a teenager myself, and I have never felt the desire to "trick out" my car. What is it that possesses young men, and sometimes young women, to blow their fucking money on this bullshit?

I know that I am in the minority here, but I can't seem to understand why you would want to spend your pay check on unnecessary things for your car. I can think of about three or four better ways to use my money, just off the top of my head. I would rather use my money to buy a hooker, buy the ChalkZone boxset, use it as toilet paper, or donate it to chairty. Wait, I did say better, so scratch of the chairty donation. I named three things, so my point remains valid.

Listen kiddies, someone please tell me what the car was originally designed for? Anyone, anyone? Bueller...Bueller...Bueller? Times up, the correct answer is, to provide a vehicle for people to travel to their destination. In other words, it gets you from point A to point B, as quickly and safely as possible. Nothing more, nothing less.

I often get into arguments with people over this topic. They usually tell me that they don't want their car to look like any old car. To that I say this, what the fuck do you mean? Do you have trouble finding your God damn car in the parking lot or something? Who cares if your car looks the same as another car of the same make and model. Use something else to differentiate your car from another, like maybe a bumper stickers that says "We Break For No One." Or how about some dice hanging off your rearview mirror? For you guys out their, how about some semen stains on the backseat? The possibilities are endless, without hitting your wallet.

I am a little fired up tonight, so I will shut my ass up now. I probably lost another reader because of this post, which means that I'm down to three readers. Maybe if I tricked out my car, people would think that I'm cool and then start reading my blog. Yeah, that is the ticket to coolness...I'll get a pimp hat and some sunglasses too. While I'm at it, I mine as well get a tattoo or possibly an eyebrow piercing... Would that really make me any cooler than I am now? I know that I am not the hippest person in the world, but fuck, I guess I just don't understand what is in these days....