Good News

Well, I've got some good news. I just saved a ton of money on my car insurance by switching to Geico. No wait, that isn't right, let me start over.

Well, I've got some good news. At this moment, I am not working on the fourth of July! I am so fucking happy! If I had to work on the fourth, I would have been so pissed. For one, Sunday is grocery day at 7-11, so I would have to put all the stock on the shelves. For two, we have a little fireworks display inside the store, so I would have to deal with that all day. For three, I would miss out on some fireworks of my own, which would have pissed me off the most.

In addition to all that, whenever you work any holiday, you have to deal with assholes that say, "Hey, doesn't it suck that you have to work on {insert holiday here}?" It is times like these that I just want to fucking go off on people. I mean, are some people really that inconsiderate. Yes, I know, it fucking sucks that I have to work on Christmas, I am well aware of that fact. Yes, I know, it blows balls that I have to work on Easter, thanks for bringing it up dickhead. Listen, to all you people who say stupid shit like that, think before you open your mouth. Think, if I were in that situation, would I want to be asked that very question.

Now, this wouldn't be a big deal, if just one person asked me it throughout the day, but that never happens. I always have to deal with it at work four or five times a holiday. By the third person, I reach my threshold for tolerance. Sometimes, I just want to jump over the counter and start stabbing wildly at the person with a slurpee straw. Once the fourth person asks me the question, I am about ready to just walk out of the place, never to return again, but I never do anything that drastic. I usually just say, "yes it does suck" or something like that. I just wish I could do something more, but I don't want to do anything illegal or say something that would cause me to lose my job. I hate my job, but I don't want to lose it. It is quite the predicament, but I think that I'll manage until I finish college.

Anyways, it is getting late and I should be off to bed. Good morning, good afternoon, good evening, and good night.

Graduation Summary

Despite the fact that I am a day late on my promised update, I will recap my sister's graduation party. I got to the party at 2:30, so by the time I got there, the party had already started. That wasn't a big deal or anything, but I wanted to be there when it started at 2:00. It was mostly my fault because I forgot to set my alarm, so I didn't wake up till 10:30. By the time I got up, ate breakfast, and took a shower, everyone in my house was gone. So I had to wait for my dad, and he didn't pick me up until 2:00 or so.

Anyways, after I went around and said hello to everyone I could, I went over to look at my sister's picture board. The majority of the picture board consisted of events from my sister's childhood, and so I was naturally in some of the pictures. Seeing those pictures made me realize that I miss being a kid sometimes. It was a nice picture board, and it brought back a lot of fond memories of simpler times.

Eventually, 4 o'clock rolled around, and it was time to eat. There was a lot of good food there, but I wasn't that hungry, so I had a few pieces of turkey. After I finished eating, I went around and talked to a few relatives and whatnot. I also played some euchre with my friends and also went inside the house to play Mario Party with a few of my younger cousins. It was a fun time, but there wasn't much else to do there except sit down and talk.

The party got a little boring around 7 o'clock, so a few of my friends suggested that we go play basketball somewhere. There was a basketball court nearby, but it was packed with people, so we decided to leave the party to go and play some basketball at the usual spot. For those of you who don't know, which I am sure is most of you, the usual spot is in the street, in front of a friend's house. I am not very good at basketball, but it is good exercise and always reminds me that I need to get in shape. We played basketball for about two hours, and then we realized that the city of Roseville was having a fireworks show that night. So we headed over to another friend's house to watch the fireworks. We walked around for a while, even as the fireworks were going, and then we finally decided to head back over to my sister's party.

We got back to my sister's party at around 10:30 p.m. and sat next to the bonfire for a while. I put on some music and just sat there and looked up at the stars for about an hour. After that got boring, I decided to get a euchre game started. I played euchre for a while, I think until one in the morning or so. Finally, the party was almost dead, and the only people left had to stay the night because they were underage drinkers. Most of my friends also left at 1:00, so I just sat next to the bonfire and talked to my dad, and my sister's boyfriend Paul. Finally at around 2:00, my dad was ready to go home, so we said good bye to everyone and left.

That summarizes my whole Saturday at my sister's graduation party. Nothing too exciting happened, but I just thought I'd let you all know. I had a lot of fun though, I got to see some family members, I got to hang out with my friends, and most importantly, my sister got her day to celebrate her graduation from high school.

On a different note, I forced my sister to make a blog. Check it out here or under my links section. She doesn't know if she wants to get into blogging, but I told her to give it a try. We'll see how that goes, but I think that she will like doing it.

Swallowed followed, heavy about everything but my love

Well, today I was browsing through my favorites list, trying to remove a few outdated links, and I came across an old news article that I found rather interesting. I remember cracking a joke about it, to a few friends, and now that I have a blog, I am going to crack the same joke to all of you. It is my blog after all, so on with it. Okay, so before I go on, I just want to point out that the link to the article is contained in my title, and by that I mean you must click on the title of this post to read the article. If for whatever reason that doesn't work, you can click on it here: MSNBC

Fairly recently, the FDA approved the use of a chewable form of birth control. It can be swallowed or chewed, so long as the woman drinks a glass of liquid after chewing it. Is it just me or I am the only one who would not want a women who can't swallow? I mean, if she can't swallow a pill, imagine what else she won't swallow. Listen fellas, stay away from the women who are on this contraceptive, they are bad news.

Oh, and just a little disclaimer here, I am only joking, so don't take me too seriously. I have no problem with a girl not swallowing, in fact, I think it is wrong to expect a women to swallow. I have no idea why certain guys expect their girlfriend to swallow. Maybe they think it disrespects their manhood, I don't know, but I certainly wouldn't feel that way. I've had this very discussion with a few of my friends, and I am always amazed when they tell me that they expect the girl to swallow.

Alright, enough about that. Well today was another glorious day at 7-11. It actually wasn't that bad, it went by relatively fast and painless, very similiar to my last masturbation session. As I said before, the only thing that I like about my job is the hot girls that come in, and today didn't disappoint. The highlight of my day was clearly the girl who had pierced nipples, with a white shirt on and no bra. I mean, you could see right through her shirt, and you could just make out the piercings. Let me tell you, it almost brought a tear to my eye, and it certainly brought a bulge to my groinal area.

Well, tomorrow is the day of my sister's graduation party and it should be good times. It starts at 2 p.m. and will last long into the night. I usually play euchre all day at parties, and tomorrow should be no exception. It will also be nice to see a few relatives that I haven't seen in a while, and also to observe the drunken state of a few choice people. We are having the party at my Uncle Bob's house, which should be nice because he has a good party house. He has a bar set up in his backroom and also a big backyard, so it shouldn't be too crowded. I asked my dad if we could bring our two dogs to the party, but he shot down my request. I tried to bring up the fact that the dogs would be home alone all day, but he just wouldn't allow it, and finally I gave up. It pisses me off though, they wouldn't be a problem or anything, so I don't see why not. Besides, my uncle has a dog, so it isn't like it is a dog free environment to begin with. Whatever though, it should be an awesome time regardless.

Anyways, I should be off to bed, it is getting late. Look for a possible update tomorrow night or Sunday afternoon, if anything happens that is blog worthy. Merry Snoodmas to all, and to all a snood night, which pretty much means good night or something.

Same Old, Same Old

Well, I am off to another wonderful day of life. I will be working 3-10 today, so there goes pretty much my whole day, as usual. I wanted to go see the movie Dodgeball yesterday, but that didn't work out. I usually go to see movies with my sister and her boyfriend, but those assholes already went to see Dodgeball on Monday. They both knew I wanted to go see it, but they couldn't wait until I had a day off. Oh well, I guess I'll have to find someone else to go see it with. The thing with movies is you can't go see them by yourself, it is very similar to a restaurant in that regard. I mean, you can go see a movie or go to a restaurant by yourself, but it just feels weird, to me at least.

I still want to see the movie Saved, preferably with Ryan because we were suppose to go see it last week, but that doesn't seem likely, at least anytime soon. I work today, tomorrow, and Friday. Then on Saturday I have my sister's graduation party, so I will be busy all day. During the rest of the week, I work Sunday, but I am off Monday, so possibly then. Then I work Tuesday, Wednesday, and Thursday. I hate working the 3-11 shift, but that is the only one available to me at my job. I also hate my job, but who doesn't? Work is work, I guess, but I'm tired of it already. I guess I should be grateful that I have a job, but I just wish it was a job that wasn't the same shit every single day. Oh well, this job motivates me to finish college, so that I can stay out of dead-end jobs like 7-11.

While you're here, why don't you check out my latest definition at urbandictionary.com: Bater Hater
Check out all my other definitions there too, I submit under the pseudonym of IAMSODOT.

Since I have time, I will tell you the story of why I use the name, IAMSODOT. Back in the day, during my high school years, I spent every Saturday at my friend Donnie's house. Our mutual friend Jason would often be there, usually eating everything in sight. Back then, we were big into a computer game called Team Fortress Classic, but I was never very good at it. Jason was slightly better than me, and Donnie was pretty good. For those of you who don't know, TFC is a Half-Life mod, and for those of you who don't know what Half-Life is, it is a first person shooter game. TFC is also a FPS, but it differs substantially from Half-Life. TFC is more team oriented, as the name implies. Instead of running around and killing everything that moves, you actually have a greater purpose in TFC. On certain maps, you capture the flag. On other maps, you try to move a flag to a certain location, while the other team defends that location, trying to stop you from reaching it. On the vast majority of maps you picked one of nine classes to play, but there were also certain maps that were sniper-only maps. These maps were our favorite, and this is where my story begins.

In TFC, there are groups called clans, which give you a unique status and also a clan tag. Clans are a close association of people, who often team up to go against other clans in clan matches. In order to get into a good clan, you have to meet certain requirements or pass a test that they give you.

Jason and I were never really that serious about the game, but Donnie was and he soon caught the eye of a sniper-only clan, known as the Dot Clan. The clan leader gave him a test, and he passed it with flying colors. He was then allowed into the clan and given the name [ . ] DonCat, which was the clan tag. After that, he thought he was hot shit, so we always tried to knock him down a few notches. When he first starting bringing up that he was in the Dot Clan, we would just ignore him. That is, until he started bringing it up a lot. He thought he was better than us, and he probably was, but we weren't going to let him think that. So whenever he mentioned the Dot Clan, we would say things to him like, "Look at me, I'm in the Dot Clan" or we would recite the Dot Clan motto, which was "Simply the Best." In addition to that, whenever we killed anyone in TFC, we would say "Dot" just to piss Donnie off.

It was fun times, that is until Jason and I got Donnie kicked out of the Dot Clan. We really didn't do anythig wrong, all we did was go on the Dot server and harassed a few clan members. Some may call it harassment, but I suspect that the Dot members were just jealous of our mad skillz. Oh, and it might also have something to do with the fact that we went on Donnie's ICQ and fucked around with a few choice Dot members, but it was all in good fun. Like I said, we really didn't do anything that bad, but the leader of Dot was not amused. Our antics, despite the fact that they were absolutely hilarious, got Donnie kicked out of the Dot Clan. Nevertheless, the process of getting him kicked out was almost as fun as hassling Donnie, but we still felt bad about it. We apologized to him, and he got over it.

Soon after Donnie's premature departure from the Dot Clan, I felt the need to create an AOL screename, in remembrance of the good times and the bad. This couldn't be just any screename, it had to also poke a little fun at Donnie. I carefully deliberate my options, and soon came up with the screename of IAMSODOT. That is my story and I'm sticking to it!

Well that is it for my story. I hope you were mildly entertained by it. Oh, and before I forget, I would just like to thank Ryan for putting in the code for my links bar. He is the fucking man, and he deserves mad props. Anyways, I am off to work, so until next time, Mahalo.

Hooray! An Update?!

Yeah, so I haven't posted to my blog in a while. I haven't been really busy or anything, it is just a lack of effort on my part. That is pretty much the story of my life, but that is how I am sometimes. My biggest problem is that I want to do too many things at once. I start one thing, find something else that seems more interesting, waste a good few days to a week on it, and then finally realize that it isn't worth my time. Enough about that though, I want to briefly go over a few things that have happened since the last time I posted.

The Pistons won the NBA Championship and Detroit didn't burn down, so that is always good. I would have liked to see the MVP of the Finals go to Ben Wallace, but Billups was also deserving. The Pistons should be around for years to come, and if they can re-sign Sheed, they will definitely be back next year. The only thing I hate about the success of the Pistons is all the bandwagon fans. I have been a Pistons fan since the days of Grant Hill, which isn't a very long time, but I am only 20. Even before Grant Hill was a Piston, I remember rooting for the Pistons, but I didn't really begin to understand basketball until the Pistons drafted Hill. I must admit though, basketball is not my favorite sport, hockey and football are my top two, and baseball is slightly ahead of it, but it is still entertaining nonetheless.

Okay, that covers everything I wanted to say about the Pistons, so I will be moving on to my next subject. Well, work has been pretty interesting lately. It seems that the owners want the employees to start wearing 7-11 shirts and name tags, which shouldn't be a big deal to me, but for some reason it is. I don't know, I just don't understand the point of it I guess. I mean, do customers really care if I am wearing a shirt and name tag? Would you not go to a certain 7-11 just because the employees weren't wearing 7-11 shirts and name tags? I can hear the people now, "Let's not go to that 7-11, they don't wear the proper 7-11 ensemble." Listen, I am behind the counter the majority of the time, I think people know that I am an employee of the place. When I'm not behind the counter, I am usually working on something, so it should be fairly easy to tell that I am an employee. That probably isn't the point, but that is my point to the owners. There is probably money in it for them, so that is all it is about. I just wish the owners would come out and say it is for the money, instead of making up some bullshit excuse about how it required in the new contract. I understand that it is required in the new contract, but I know they are getting more money for having their employees wear the 7-11 attire. How about giving me a God damn raise with some of that money? Yeah, like that will ever happen....

Summer is the time of year for graduation parties. I have been to a few over the past week and I have my sister's party coming up next Saturday. I am really looking forward to next Saturday, it should be nice to see some family members that I haven't seen in a while. It is also fun to watch people get drunk of their ass. I personally don't drink, I have tried it a few times and still can't understand what the big deal is. Would anyone care to enlighten me? I mean, I never did it by myself, I always had people around me when I was drinking, but I never felt like I was having more fun than when I was sober. Maybe I was with the wrong people, but I highly doubt that. I have no problem with other people drinking though, I like to watch how people act, in general, and I especially like to watch how drunk people act and react to certain situations.

I have exhausted most of my time before work, so I will end this post now. I would promise to update more often in the future, but I don't know if I can make that sort of commitment....

Jimmy Kimmel

Okay, I am sure all of you have heard about the remark made by Jimmy Kimmel the other night. He made this comment during half-time of game 2 in the Lakers-Pistons series. If you didn't hear it or hear about it, he said that Detroit would burn if the Pistons won the NBA championship. His remark made major news in Detroit, it was aired on all the local Detroit news channels, including channel 7, which was the station that carried the game last night. Now, it seems that Kimmel is in some hot water, as evidence by him not being on right now. I am not sure if it just in Detroit, but it is a little after 12:05 AM, and channel 7 has the Wayne Brady show on. If you didn't already know, Kimmel is suppose to start at 12:05 AM....

The reason for me bringing this up is very simple and possibly surprising. I am here to defend Kimmel. Listen people, Kimmel is a comedian, he obviously meant it jokingly. Am I the only one who can take a God damn joke anymore? What have we become as a society here? Everyone has to be so politically correct nowadays. We can't say anything anymore without offending someone. For those of you who are easily offended, here is something to try, why don't you develop a sense of humor? Learn to take a God damn joke, and if you can't, just learn to deal with it.

Don't get me wrong here, I am not advocating anything that is way over the line, such as extreme racial bigotry or blatant religious hatred, but come on. Kimmel made one comment about arson and now everyone in Detroit wants his head. Even the aforementioned topics of race and religion have a place in comedy. Have you ever watched Chris Rock? A vast majority of his comedy routine deals with racial topics. How about Dave Chappell? He does a lot of hilarious skits that stereotype certain races. Ever watch George Carlin do stand-up? He makes various comments about his nonbelief in God, which could be conceived as religious hatred. As you can see, even the taboo subjects of race and religion are not off limits.

Some may say that Kimmel was not joking when he made his comment. To that I say this, how do you know? Even if he comes out and says that he wasn't joking, big fucking deal. He isn't the first person to take a shot at Detroit. He may or may not have been out of line, if he wasn't joking, but seriously, it is nothing to lose sleep over. It is not like The Jimmy Kimmel Live show is all that popular. Personally, I think that Kimmel is great and I love his show, but it is not for the easily offended. If you have a problem with Kimmel, or anything that he says or does, all you have to do is change the channel. Even if he is on during a sports broadcast, you simply change the station and then switch back in five minutes. If he isn't doing his show, he won't be on for more than five minutes. Is it really that hard to change the channel? You'll be changing the channel and buring some calories at the same time. It is a win-win situation.

I have stated my position on this, so I will end my post here. Please comment if you feel the need to...I know that there are a few of you out there.

I'm Sailing Away

God damn Pistons. They had that fucking game within reach. The score was 89-83 with 47 seconds to go. Somehow, Someway, they let the game slip away. Let me just bring up the two turning points of the game.

Turning point number one, fouling Shaq on a layup that made it 89-85, with the foul shot coming. He had no business getting fouled on that layup, he had an easy basket. There was no reason, whatsoever, to foul him on that play. I think Ben got the foul, so I will forgive him, but I originally thought that Sheed got the foul, and at that point I was so pissed at Sheed. Don't get me wrong, Sheed is a great player, but he has got to be one of the dumbest mother fuckers on the basketball court. Anyway, without that foul, the score would have been 89-85, or a two possession game. Kobe could have made that last three-pointer, and it wouldn't have mattered at all.

Turning point number two, coming out flat in the OT. Two points in the overtime is inexcusable. Also, someone please tell me why Sheed is throwing up the three-pointer with the Pistons down six? If anyone should be shooting the ball in that situation, it should be Chauncey or Rip, preferably Chauncey. The three-ball isn't Sheed's shot, he is at his best when backing the ball in just outside the paint, then turning and gunning it in.

I am a little fired up tonight, mostly because of the Pistons loss. No big deal though, it is only one game, and the Pistons have shown everyone that they can hang with the Lakers. There was very little doubt in my mind, but that clearly wasn't the case with the jackass media.

Speaking of Jack...asses, how about that fucking dickhead Jack Nicholson. That mother fucker gets way too much God damn camera time, which, by the way, is no big deal...if he is in a movie, but is a big deal during a basketball game. Take the fucking camera off that old bag of bones and put it on the ass of some hot Californian bitch. Am I the only one who is tired of seeing him piss and moan after every single call that goes against the Lakers? Who cares that he is there, he is at every fucking Lakers home game, enough with him already. Great, he is a fan. Great, he is at the game, again. Take the fucking camera and put it elsewhere. Thank you and good night.

The Dentist

So I received some oral (treatment) today. Not the kind that I enjoy the most, of course, but yeah, oral treatment nonetheless. I have always feared going to the dentist, but today was different. I actually looked forward to going, for some reason. Anyways, the lady that cleaned me teeth was very nice. She wasn't that bad looking either. She told me that I kinda look like Justin Timberlake, so I was all like, you better take that back, but I guess it was a compliment. Her co-workers agreed as well, but I just didn't see what they were talking about....

Whatever, I've also been told, on more than one occassion, that I look like Tobey Maguire, better known as the guy who plays Spider-Man. That I can see, just a litle bit, but Justin Timberlake? Do I really look that gay? Although, he was hitting Britney, so that is always a plus. Just for the record, I have nothing major against Justin, he probably isn't gay, but he isn't somebody I want to look like.

This brings me to a question that I would like to ask everyone. Have you ever been told that you look like a celebrity? If so, who? Also, if you know what I look like, I would like you to tell me if you agree with my two celebrity comparisons. That is all for tonight, I am tired because I was at work and just got off. I am about to get off again, before I go to bed...but you didn't need to know that, did you? Thank you and good night. Also, here is a Family Guy quote generator that I found:

Random Family Guy Quotes

Kids These Days

Okay, I've been meaning to bring up a certain issue on my blog for quite some time now. The issue that I am speaking of deals with what I like to call "tricked out" cars. You know what I'm talking about here, cars with ground effects, spinners, hydraulics, loud ass speaker systems, and other unneeded accessories. People who have this shit have either, A) watched The Fast and the Furious one to many times, B) are rich fucks who have money to blow, or C) kids with no bills to pay, who can't think of a better use for their money.

Let me continue with the latter mentioned cateogry. The majority of "tricked out" cars have a teenager in the driver's seat. I was, just one week ago, a teenager myself, and I have never felt the desire to "trick out" my car. What is it that possesses young men, and sometimes young women, to blow their fucking money on this bullshit?

I know that I am in the minority here, but I can't seem to understand why you would want to spend your pay check on unnecessary things for your car. I can think of about three or four better ways to use my money, just off the top of my head. I would rather use my money to buy a hooker, buy the ChalkZone boxset, use it as toilet paper, or donate it to chairty. Wait, I did say better, so scratch of the chairty donation. I named three things, so my point remains valid.

Listen kiddies, someone please tell me what the car was originally designed for? Anyone, anyone? Bueller...Bueller...Bueller? Times up, the correct answer is, to provide a vehicle for people to travel to their destination. In other words, it gets you from point A to point B, as quickly and safely as possible. Nothing more, nothing less.

I often get into arguments with people over this topic. They usually tell me that they don't want their car to look like any old car. To that I say this, what the fuck do you mean? Do you have trouble finding your God damn car in the parking lot or something? Who cares if your car looks the same as another car of the same make and model. Use something else to differentiate your car from another, like maybe a bumper stickers that says "We Break For No One." Or how about some dice hanging off your rearview mirror? For you guys out their, how about some semen stains on the backseat? The possibilities are endless, without hitting your wallet.

I am a little fired up tonight, so I will shut my ass up now. I probably lost another reader because of this post, which means that I'm down to three readers. Maybe if I tricked out my car, people would think that I'm cool and then start reading my blog. Yeah, that is the ticket to coolness...I'll get a pimp hat and some sunglasses too. While I'm at it, I mine as well get a tattoo or possibly an eyebrow piercing... Would that really make me any cooler than I am now? I know that I am not the hippest person in the world, but fuck, I guess I just don't understand what is in these days....

Ken's Top Ten

Well folks, today is the day that I debut my top ten. Finally, the moment you all have been waiting for.

This won't be a traditional top ten, mostly because I may find the need to provide some additional commentary. So without further ado...

The top ten things that I've wanted to ask during a customer transaction, but have always been too afraid to ask:

Number 10
When a customer asks, Can you break a hundred? I always want to say:

Does this look like a fucking bank to you?

People come in with hundred dollar bills all the times. I usually have to decline their request because we aren't allowed to keep that kind of money in the drawer. Obviously, some people fail to realize that 7-11 is often a place that gets robbed. Since I've been working at 7-11, I haven't experienced a robbery, but there are times that I worry about getting robbed, especially with certain customers.

Number 9
When a person comes in, stumbling drunk, I often want to say:

Could I interest you in some Chaser tablets?

Number 8
When an attractive lady comes up to the counter with a twinkie, I often want to ask:

Would you like a ding dong with your twinkie?

Number 7
When someone complains about the price of an item, I often want to go off on them by saying:

Listen asshole, if I made the prices around here, do you think I'd be standing behind this counter?

Once again, people fail to realize that the cashiers do not make the prices. Don't complain to me about the God damn prices, I just work here.

Number 6
When a big breasted women walks up to the counter with multiple slurpees, I sometimes want to ask:

Would you like a breastholder...I mean, would you like a cupholder?

Number 5
When a person asks to buy some Zig Zags, I often want to inquire about what they are using them for by saying:

Are you a pothead, focker?

Number 4
When a heavyset person walks up to the register with a few bags full of donuts, I always want to ask them one question, which is:

Hey fatty, are you going to eat all those donuts by yourself?

Number 3
When an unattractive lady walks up to the counter with a few items, I often want to ask:

Would you like a paper bag for your head?

Number 2
When a good-looking women walks up to the register with a box of condoms, I frequently want to ask:

Who is the lucky guy?

Number 1

When a female sets a package of tampons on the counter, I always want to ask:

Is it that time of the month again?

I hope you all enjoyed my top ten. If not, screw you, I would like to see you do better. Anyways, I am off to my sister's commencements, so I will be ending this post now. There is one more thing I want to say before I go though...Gooooo Pistons!