The Golden Girls Ratio

While talking to my friend Eryn the other day, I stumbled upon something that may change the face of mathematics as we know it (Disclaimer: your results may vary).  Have you ever heard of the Fibonacci Sequence?  How about the Golden Ratio?  Oh, you haven't heard of either of those two things?  Well, let me drop a little knowledge right on top of you and then I'll get back to what I discovered.

The Fibonacci Sequence is the following series of numbers:

0, 1, 1, 2, 3, 5, 8, 13, 21, 34, 55, 89, 144, 233, 377,  ...

And it extends on to infinity (and beyond).  Do you notice the pattern here?  Oh, you don't?  Well, let me help you out then.  To get the next number in the sequence, you add the previous two numbers together.  It really is that simple.  Unfortunately, the rest of this post goes from simple to downright insanity by the end of it, so please prepare yourself for the inevitable. 

The Golden Ratio is a number that interests mathematicians, as well as artists, historians, musicians and many other people from various diverse fields.  As a number, the Golden Ratio is approximately 1.618034.  The Golden Ratio is a lot more complicated than just the number though, and I don't claim to understand all of its applications, but for the purposes of this post just understand this.  A ratio is a a number divided by another number (a proportion) and the Golden Ratio's proportion equals to approximately 1.618034.


Now, how does the Fibonacci Sequence relate to the Golden Ratio, you ask?  Oh, you didn't ask that and would rather go watch that lip-syncing midget on YouTube?  Well, be my guest, but I'm going to finish explaining this anyway.  If you take two successive numbers in the Fibonacci Sequence, their ratio gets closer and closer to the Golden Ratio as you get further and further along in the sequence.

Consider the following:

• 3/2 = 1.5
• 5/3 = 1.666...
• 8/5 = 1.6
• 13/8 = 1.625
• 233/144 = 1.618055556
• 377/233 = 1.618025751

Okay, now that I've successfully lost every last one of you, I'm going to tell you what I unearthed while talking to Eryn.  It involves the television sitcom The Golden Girls (don't ask me how we got on the subject of The Golden Girls, things like that just randomly come up).  If you're not familiar with The Golden Girls television program, let me give you a brief history of it.  The Golden Girls show aired from 1985-1992 and was one of the highest rated shows during that time.  The show was about four older women (read: senior citizens) living in a house together in Miami, Florida (in the United States, Florida is typically where most senior citizens spend their "golden years," hence the name of the show).  The show was controversial for its time because it dealt with many topical issues such as "coming out," safe sex, HIV and various other sexual things you would rather not imagine a bunch of old ladies discussing and/or partaking in (unless you're in to that, in which case you better stock up on once monthly Boniva).

The four main characters from The Golden Girls were played by the following people:

• Estelle Getty played Sophia
• Bea Arthur played Dorothy
• Rue McClanahan played Blanche
• Betty White played Rose

Surprisingly, no one was named Esther, Gertrude or Mildred.  Anyway, as you may or may not know, Betty White is the only surviving member of the four main characters from the show.  Why is this relevant, you ask?  To understand that, we must turn our attention to some somber days of death.

The following dates are the death dates of the three deceased Golden Girls:

• Estelle Getty: July 22, 2008
• Bea Arthur: April 25, 2009
• Rue McClanahan: June 3, 2010

Do you notice the pattern here?  Look very closely if you don't.  Hey, you know what? If you guys don't see the pattern here, just ring your call button, and I will come over there and hit you over the head with a tack hammer because you are a retard (that was from Tommy Boy).  Anyway, the year pattern should be obvious to you: 2008, 2009 and 2010.  Following that pattern, Betty White is destined to die in 2011.  And, according to my calendar, that happens to be this year!

Now, the year pattern is very easy to notice, but what about the month?  Well, we currently have deaths in April, June and July.  So, the month of May seems to be the most logical month for Betty White to die.  It completes the sequence of April, May, June and July.  And you know what I always say, golden showers bring May flowers.  You know, because you send flowers to someone when they die and Betty White was a Golden Girl.  Alright, let's pretend like I didn't just go there.  Moving right along....

Okay, so Betty White is set to die in May of 2011, but what will be the exact day she will die?  Here's where my theory gets a bit convoluted, so please bear with me.  Like most things in life, Bea Arthur holds the key to this answer (since she is the middle death).  Bea Arthur's death date was exactly 277 days after Estelle Getty's death date.  On the flip side, Bea Arthur's death date was exactly 404 days before Rue McClanahan's death date.  If you add 277 and 404 together, you get 681.  You then divide that number, 681, by two (because two is the number of bad Golden Girls episodes in existence) to get the mean (average) of 340.5.  And since you typically round up in mathematics, let's make that number 341.  Finally, if you add on 341 days to the date of June 3, 2010 (Rue McClanahan's death date), you end up with a date that falls perfectly in line with everything I've laid out before you.  The day Betty White will perish is (dun, dun, dunnnnn) May 10, 2011.

So, you see, it really is that simple.  If you use logic and mathematics, mixed with a few cups of crazy, and sprinkle in some stale satirical humor, you can uncover some truly amazing things!