As I sit here typing this, the Detroit Lions are getting raped by the St. Louis Rams on Monday Night Football. Sometimes I don't even know why I bother with this team. I seriously don't. Year in and year out, they continue to disappoint me. I always get my hopes up and then shit like this happens every year. I know, I know. It's just preseason. But as of right now, the Lions are 0-3 in the preseason. They can't score in the red zone again. The defense has looked horrible every week. The three stud receives have looked mediocre, at best, all preseason. Joey Harrington, who looked great the first two games, has played horrible tonight. I don't know, I just can't take it anymore. The Lions have never been to a Super Bowl. Never. They haven't won a championship since 1957. That's almost 50 years. I'm 21 years old, and the other three major sports teams in Detroit have won a championship in my lifetime. Since the Lions last championship, the Tigers have won four championships (1935, 1945, 1968, 1984), the Pistons have won three (1989, 1990, 2004), and the Red Wings have won three (1997, 1998, 2002). That is absolutely ridiculous to the nth degree. And as if it couldn't get any more ridiculous, the Lions have only one playoff victory in that same time frame. That isn't just ridiculous. It's ricockulous.
Enough about the Lions though, what a downer. I'm excited about hockey starting up again. I have started a yahoo fantasy hockey league. Leave me a comment here if you are interested in joining. I need some more people to join, so anyone who regularly comments on here is welcome.
I'm so angry about Hurricane Katrina. Since it's a K, it should be Hurricane Ken. There aren't enough Hurricane Ken's blowing and there aren't enough girls blowing Ken. One of these days, I am going to make a list that has a theme for each state in the union. The state of Florida gets the theme, Rock You Like a Hurricane by the Scorpions. I think that it's a fitting theme. I would also like to say that Rock You Like a Hurricane is my personal theme. It represents how I roll, as the kids say.
Well, I got nothing more to bitch about, except gas prices. I'll save that for another update though. You stay classy, San Diego.
Monday, August 29, 2005
Friday, August 26, 2005
Hypocrites
If there is one thing I can't stand in this world, it's hypocrites. Now, I reailze that everyone is a hypocrite from time to time and that is fine. But the people that are constantly hypocritical, or hypocritical on the big things, really take the cake.
Take Pat Robertson, for example. This guy is a religious broadcaster for the Christian Broadcasting Network. In a recent eposide of the 700 club, he called for the killing of the Venezuelan President, Hugo Chavez. Read more about it here
Now, correct me if I'm wrong, but isn't the sixth commandment Thou Shall Not Kill? Let me go ahead and break a few things done that he said. This is what he said:
"We have the ability to take him out, and I think the time has come that we exercise that ability. We don't need another $200 billion war to get rid of one, you know, strong-arm dictator. It's a whole lot easier to have some of the covert operatives do the job and then get it over with."
A few days later, he tried to defend himself by saying this:
"I didn't say 'assassination.' I said our special forces should 'take him out,'" Robertson said on his show. "'Take him out' could be a number of things..."
Right. Take him out. Our special forces could "take him out" for a nice night on the town. Maybe dinner and a movie. I hear Ashlee Simpson is great in Undiscovered. They could all have a nice steak dinner and booze it up a little. And if he plays his cards right, he could be pulling a train of special forces in his hotel room later that night. Come on now. What else could you possibly mean by take him out? What's that you say? Oh, taking him out could also mean kidnapping him? Let me point out what you said just prior to the take him out remark.
"You know, I don't know about this doctrine of assassination, but if he thinks we're trying to assassinate him, I think that we really ought to go ahead and do it. It's a whole lot cheaper than starting a war, and I don't think any oil shipments will stop."
Oh, I see. It's all so clear to me now. Even though take him out could mean a number of things, you were clearly referring to assassinating him. Imagine if a Muslim clerk called for the assassination of President Bush. The United States would be up in arms and calling for the guys head. I may strongly dislike President Bush, but I don't wish death upon him. That's wrong. And what's even more wrong is a religious leader, who claims to be moral and righteous and all that, calling for the assassination of anyone.
Be that as it may, I'm a forgiving man and Robertson did say that he was sorry. That doesn't make him any less of a hypocrite though, nor does it make him any less accountable. I hope that the FCC takes some sort of action and there is a price to pay for this. Not necessarily revoking his broadcasting license, that would be too harsh I think. However, there has to be consequences for his actions on this one. But hey, even if nothing happens, he'll have to pay the fiddler one way or another. I'm sure God isn't too crazy about people who call for the assassination of someone. I mean, I don't believe in God or anything, but I'm sure that if there is one, He doesn't take too kindly to things like that.
Anyways, that's all I wanted to say really. You stay classy, San Diego.
Take Pat Robertson, for example. This guy is a religious broadcaster for the Christian Broadcasting Network. In a recent eposide of the 700 club, he called for the killing of the Venezuelan President, Hugo Chavez. Read more about it here
Now, correct me if I'm wrong, but isn't the sixth commandment Thou Shall Not Kill? Let me go ahead and break a few things done that he said. This is what he said:
"We have the ability to take him out, and I think the time has come that we exercise that ability. We don't need another $200 billion war to get rid of one, you know, strong-arm dictator. It's a whole lot easier to have some of the covert operatives do the job and then get it over with."
A few days later, he tried to defend himself by saying this:
"I didn't say 'assassination.' I said our special forces should 'take him out,'" Robertson said on his show. "'Take him out' could be a number of things..."
Right. Take him out. Our special forces could "take him out" for a nice night on the town. Maybe dinner and a movie. I hear Ashlee Simpson is great in Undiscovered. They could all have a nice steak dinner and booze it up a little. And if he plays his cards right, he could be pulling a train of special forces in his hotel room later that night. Come on now. What else could you possibly mean by take him out? What's that you say? Oh, taking him out could also mean kidnapping him? Let me point out what you said just prior to the take him out remark.
"You know, I don't know about this doctrine of assassination, but if he thinks we're trying to assassinate him, I think that we really ought to go ahead and do it. It's a whole lot cheaper than starting a war, and I don't think any oil shipments will stop."
Oh, I see. It's all so clear to me now. Even though take him out could mean a number of things, you were clearly referring to assassinating him. Imagine if a Muslim clerk called for the assassination of President Bush. The United States would be up in arms and calling for the guys head. I may strongly dislike President Bush, but I don't wish death upon him. That's wrong. And what's even more wrong is a religious leader, who claims to be moral and righteous and all that, calling for the assassination of anyone.
Be that as it may, I'm a forgiving man and Robertson did say that he was sorry. That doesn't make him any less of a hypocrite though, nor does it make him any less accountable. I hope that the FCC takes some sort of action and there is a price to pay for this. Not necessarily revoking his broadcasting license, that would be too harsh I think. However, there has to be consequences for his actions on this one. But hey, even if nothing happens, he'll have to pay the fiddler one way or another. I'm sure God isn't too crazy about people who call for the assassination of someone. I mean, I don't believe in God or anything, but I'm sure that if there is one, He doesn't take too kindly to things like that.
Anyways, that's all I wanted to say really. You stay classy, San Diego.
Saturday, August 20, 2005
Racism in Nature and in Language
Well, I said I was going to post this last night, but I didn't get a chance to finish it. Better late than never though, as the kids say. Here it is.
I now have something for you that I've been working on for quite some time. I've been noticing a lot of racism in today's society lately. You see it in the government especially. It's just a bunch of white guys running the world basically. But hey, I have no problem with that anymore. In fact, I've come to expect it. However, there are still some things that you never quite expect. It has recently come to my attention that nature has a lot of inherent racism in it. I guess you could say that it's nature's nature to be racist. In addition to that, the English language also has a lot of racism rooted in many words and phrases. If you have no ideal what I'm talking about, keep on reading.
Racism in Nature
Let's start with white water rapids. I'd like to know where in the hell all the black water rapids are? You have no clue either? I'll tell you where they are then. The white water rapids are keeping the black water rapids down. They are keeping the black water rapids down at the bottom. Yeah, that's where they are. I mean, when is the last time you got to go black water rafting? Never. That's wrong, it needs to change, and that's just one example of racism in nature.
Have you ever noticed how beautiful white clouds are? Yeah, they are just great. Picture this. You're sitting there on the edge of a hillside. Not a care in the world, just looking up at the clouds. So white and fluffy, like marshmellows. You are just sitting there, beginning to see the shape of a dragon in one cloud, and suddenly it happens. The clouds begin to darken. Those once beautiful white clouds slowly transform, until they become dangerous black clouds. For some reason, you no longer seem interested in cloud watching. You check your wallet, making sure it's still there. You then decide to make a b-line to your car, running in fear because you think one of the black clouds is going to jack it. Again, that's wrong, and it needs to change. I mean really, what's the beef with black clouds? Sure, they may rain on us more often than white clouds, but that isn't any reason to hate them. And yeah, their lightning bolts are a lot bigger than the white clouds, but you can't hate them for that either. I guess you could say that every black cloud has a silver lining. Consider that the next time you give a dirty look to a black cloud for talking loudy during a movie.
Staying on the topic of things in the sky. Have you ever noticed how simply amazing the nighttime sky looks? Everyone notices the beauty that they can see in the stars. So wonderful with their white, yellow, and red colors. However, the backdrop of those stars often goes unappreciated. I'm talking about the blackness of space here. And when I talk about the blackness of space, it fills me up with soul. And when I'm filled with soul, I usually gag a few times. But this time, I'm going to break into verse.
The blackness of space never gets any credit
And really the stars are indebted
To the blackness of space
Where else would the stars glow
If it wasn't for the fro
Of the blackness of space
And those shooting stars you see
It's just a killing spree
Coldly committed by the blackness of space
Oh, and where did the moon go
The horizon, it is below
Getting cornholed by the blackness of space
But don't you dare fear
The Sun will soon be here
To take away the blackness of space
And that was my poem dedicated to the blackness of space. I hope you enjoyed it.
Speaking of space, how about black holes? For some reason, black holes continue to get a bad rap, but who are we to judge? As most of you already know, the gravitational field of a black hole is so strong that not even light can escape it. Many people hate black holes for that reason and that reason only. But really, is being that attractive necessarily a crime? I mean, us white holes would kill to be that attractive. We would kill for it. To be fair though, we should just embrace our black hole brothers and realize that some of our white hole sisters prefer them over us. I mean, have you ever seen a white hole dance? Yeah, it isn't pretty. So let's all raise our glasses and give a toast to black holes. They may be the end of us, but at least they aren't at the end of us pounding us in the ass. That kind of thing does go on in the prison system though. With that in mind, just a word of advice before I go on. Don't drop the soap in prison. Because if you drop, there is one thing that won't espace your white hole, and we're not talking about light here....
I would now like to talk about something that is very near and dear to me. Mixed animals. Oh, what a terrible life they have to lead. Never fully embraced by either community, they are shunned by both of their respective peers. Their black brothers want nothing to do with them because they are part white and their white brethren want nothing to do with them because they are part black. It's horrible, really. With that on your conscience, I would now like to recognize the hardships of the following mixed animals:
Enough about racism in nature, moving on. I would now like to talk about racism in the English language.
Racism in the English Language
Has anyone else wondererd why it is perfectly okay to tell a little white lie, and yet, it isn't okay to blackmail someone? Am I the only one who see the irony in that? I mean, come on. Just because something is white, doesn't make it right. And just because something is black, doesn't make it wrong. In my opinion, it should either be perfectly okay to tell a little white lie/blackmail someone or it should be wrong on both accounts. I'm tired of the double standard. I know you're sick of it as well. It's time to take a stand here people. Let's stick it to the man.
And another thing. How about the expression, you aren't the brightest crayon in the box? What racist bastard came up with that? I mean, what crayon do you think they're talking about when they say that? Certainly not the white crayon, nor the yellow crayon, nor the red crayon. They are talking about the black crayon and that's wrong. It's bad enough that the black crayon is often times segregated in the slums of the crayon box, amongst the other shady crayons. That's bad enough as it is. And yet, the black crayon is constantly assaulted with the aforementioned expression. Please everyone. Do me a favor, do black crayons everywhere a favor, and stop using this expression. Also, ridicule everyone you hear using this expression. Explain to them what I've explained to you. Thank you.
With the recent release of the sixth Harry Potter book, it seems that just about everyone is infatuated with magic. That is all well and good, but I think you all are missing the point here. Do any of you realize what the Harry Potter series is really implying? It is implying that black magic is bad. I mean, come on. The kids take a class called defense against the dark arts. The dark arts. What's so wrong with the dark arts? Why can't black magic be good? Is it really so wrong to practice black magic? Who are we to judge what kind of magic is good and what kind of magic is bad? Will I ever stop asking rhetorical questions? Not likely. Anyways, my point remains the same. What is so wrong with black magic? Inquiring minds want to know.
And another thing. Why is it that you blacklist someone when they gain your disapproval and you want to punish them? Why wouldn't you whitelist them? I mean, what color is paper normally? Is it not white? Sure, sometimes paper is yellow, but that is neither here nor there. In my whole entire life, I've never seen a piece of black paper, aside from cardboard paper. So why then, why do we blacklist someone? Why do most terms with the word black in them have negative connotations? Sure, there are some terms, such as little black book, that represent a good thing, but those are few and far between. Why is that? I am now making it my life's work to replace the term blacklist with whitelist. I think I've made a very persassive argument for why it makes more sense. I encourage you to follow my lead. You'll be making the world a better place. And just think of the kids.
Alright, moving right along. What's up with the term dealing on the black market? You know, the place where you buy and sell illicit goods. Why is it that only illicit goods are sold on the black market? I'll tell you why. It's the man bringing the black market down. The man is too uptight, too rigid, to allow these so called illicit goods on the white market. And to that, I say this. Don't panic, it's organic. It comes from the Earth, man. And nevermind the fact that various poisonous plants come from the Earth. Nevermind the man behind the curtain. I wouldn't want to kill your buzz, man. I wouldn't want to trip all over you trip, so to speak. I wouldn't want to crap in your pot brownies. Here's the thing. To all you idiots that like to claim that pot isn't harmful to you because it comes from the Earth, consider what I'm saying. Just because something comes from the Earth doesn't make it good for you. In fact, like I said, various plants/berries that come from the GOD DAMN EARTH are bad for you. Why don't you grow the fuck up and come up with another excuse for your addiction. Okay, I went a little off track there, but that needed to be said.
I am now on the tail end of this update. I will make a few more futile attempts at being funny, so please stay with me. I have just a few more examples of racism in language. So please, consider the following:
Well, it's been a long and hopefully rewarding journey. I'm glad you've made it this far. I thank you for taking the time out of your busy day to read my ramblings. Until next time, this is Ken Schweigel signing off.
I now have something for you that I've been working on for quite some time. I've been noticing a lot of racism in today's society lately. You see it in the government especially. It's just a bunch of white guys running the world basically. But hey, I have no problem with that anymore. In fact, I've come to expect it. However, there are still some things that you never quite expect. It has recently come to my attention that nature has a lot of inherent racism in it. I guess you could say that it's nature's nature to be racist. In addition to that, the English language also has a lot of racism rooted in many words and phrases. If you have no ideal what I'm talking about, keep on reading.
Racism in Nature
Let's start with white water rapids. I'd like to know where in the hell all the black water rapids are? You have no clue either? I'll tell you where they are then. The white water rapids are keeping the black water rapids down. They are keeping the black water rapids down at the bottom. Yeah, that's where they are. I mean, when is the last time you got to go black water rafting? Never. That's wrong, it needs to change, and that's just one example of racism in nature.
Have you ever noticed how beautiful white clouds are? Yeah, they are just great. Picture this. You're sitting there on the edge of a hillside. Not a care in the world, just looking up at the clouds. So white and fluffy, like marshmellows. You are just sitting there, beginning to see the shape of a dragon in one cloud, and suddenly it happens. The clouds begin to darken. Those once beautiful white clouds slowly transform, until they become dangerous black clouds. For some reason, you no longer seem interested in cloud watching. You check your wallet, making sure it's still there. You then decide to make a b-line to your car, running in fear because you think one of the black clouds is going to jack it. Again, that's wrong, and it needs to change. I mean really, what's the beef with black clouds? Sure, they may rain on us more often than white clouds, but that isn't any reason to hate them. And yeah, their lightning bolts are a lot bigger than the white clouds, but you can't hate them for that either. I guess you could say that every black cloud has a silver lining. Consider that the next time you give a dirty look to a black cloud for talking loudy during a movie.
Staying on the topic of things in the sky. Have you ever noticed how simply amazing the nighttime sky looks? Everyone notices the beauty that they can see in the stars. So wonderful with their white, yellow, and red colors. However, the backdrop of those stars often goes unappreciated. I'm talking about the blackness of space here. And when I talk about the blackness of space, it fills me up with soul. And when I'm filled with soul, I usually gag a few times. But this time, I'm going to break into verse.
The blackness of space never gets any credit
And really the stars are indebted
To the blackness of space
Where else would the stars glow
If it wasn't for the fro
Of the blackness of space
And those shooting stars you see
It's just a killing spree
Coldly committed by the blackness of space
Oh, and where did the moon go
The horizon, it is below
Getting cornholed by the blackness of space
But don't you dare fear
The Sun will soon be here
To take away the blackness of space
And that was my poem dedicated to the blackness of space. I hope you enjoyed it.
Speaking of space, how about black holes? For some reason, black holes continue to get a bad rap, but who are we to judge? As most of you already know, the gravitational field of a black hole is so strong that not even light can escape it. Many people hate black holes for that reason and that reason only. But really, is being that attractive necessarily a crime? I mean, us white holes would kill to be that attractive. We would kill for it. To be fair though, we should just embrace our black hole brothers and realize that some of our white hole sisters prefer them over us. I mean, have you ever seen a white hole dance? Yeah, it isn't pretty. So let's all raise our glasses and give a toast to black holes. They may be the end of us, but at least they aren't at the end of us pounding us in the ass. That kind of thing does go on in the prison system though. With that in mind, just a word of advice before I go on. Don't drop the soap in prison. Because if you drop, there is one thing that won't espace your white hole, and we're not talking about light here....
I would now like to talk about something that is very near and dear to me. Mixed animals. Oh, what a terrible life they have to lead. Never fully embraced by either community, they are shunned by both of their respective peers. Their black brothers want nothing to do with them because they are part white and their white brethren want nothing to do with them because they are part black. It's horrible, really. With that on your conscience, I would now like to recognize the hardships of the following mixed animals:
- Zebras, the illegitimate offspring of black stallions and white mares. Their father is hung like a horse, but he doesn't stick around for very long. Meanwhile, their salt whore mother doesn't have a paying job and is on welfare. It must suck to be a zebra in today's society. Not only do you get fucked by lions, but you have a broken home to go back to if you survive. Terrible, I say, just terrible.
- Penguins, the mutated offspring of black crows and white doves. Not really much to say about penguins. They seem better adapted to their surroundings than the other mixed animals. I suspect that it has something to do with the way they walk. I heard on the National Geographic channel that they waddle because of all the anal sex they partake in. True story. I mean, you'd be waddling to if you got ass raped as much as penguins do.
- Pandas, the love child of black bears and polar bears. The most endangered mixed animal on this list. They eat bamboo and don't like to have sex. Sounds a lot like my (nonexistent) girlfriend. But with all kidding aside, Panda bears are a very majestic animal. And by majestic, I mean worthless. Like I said, they do nothing but eat bamboo and lounge around all day long. It is only a matter of time before the Panda bear goes the way of the dodo. And I say good riddance. I mean really, who needs Panda bears?
- Cows, orgins unknown. I'm not quite sure which two animals a cow comes from. It is one of the great mystery's of the world. There is not much research in this field, so it is tough to figure out. I do like cows though. Milk is good. I mean, who doesn't like milk? And don't you dare mention those lactose intolerant pussies. What a bunch of bastards they are. So fucking intolerant. Can't accept cows for who the are and what they have. I spit on them. Okay, that's enough about that. I can't udder anymore more words about cows. Get it? Udder. Oh man, I crack myself up. I'M A FREAKING RIOT!
Enough about racism in nature, moving on. I would now like to talk about racism in the English language.
Racism in the English Language
Has anyone else wondererd why it is perfectly okay to tell a little white lie, and yet, it isn't okay to blackmail someone? Am I the only one who see the irony in that? I mean, come on. Just because something is white, doesn't make it right. And just because something is black, doesn't make it wrong. In my opinion, it should either be perfectly okay to tell a little white lie/blackmail someone or it should be wrong on both accounts. I'm tired of the double standard. I know you're sick of it as well. It's time to take a stand here people. Let's stick it to the man.
And another thing. How about the expression, you aren't the brightest crayon in the box? What racist bastard came up with that? I mean, what crayon do you think they're talking about when they say that? Certainly not the white crayon, nor the yellow crayon, nor the red crayon. They are talking about the black crayon and that's wrong. It's bad enough that the black crayon is often times segregated in the slums of the crayon box, amongst the other shady crayons. That's bad enough as it is. And yet, the black crayon is constantly assaulted with the aforementioned expression. Please everyone. Do me a favor, do black crayons everywhere a favor, and stop using this expression. Also, ridicule everyone you hear using this expression. Explain to them what I've explained to you. Thank you.
With the recent release of the sixth Harry Potter book, it seems that just about everyone is infatuated with magic. That is all well and good, but I think you all are missing the point here. Do any of you realize what the Harry Potter series is really implying? It is implying that black magic is bad. I mean, come on. The kids take a class called defense against the dark arts. The dark arts. What's so wrong with the dark arts? Why can't black magic be good? Is it really so wrong to practice black magic? Who are we to judge what kind of magic is good and what kind of magic is bad? Will I ever stop asking rhetorical questions? Not likely. Anyways, my point remains the same. What is so wrong with black magic? Inquiring minds want to know.
And another thing. Why is it that you blacklist someone when they gain your disapproval and you want to punish them? Why wouldn't you whitelist them? I mean, what color is paper normally? Is it not white? Sure, sometimes paper is yellow, but that is neither here nor there. In my whole entire life, I've never seen a piece of black paper, aside from cardboard paper. So why then, why do we blacklist someone? Why do most terms with the word black in them have negative connotations? Sure, there are some terms, such as little black book, that represent a good thing, but those are few and far between. Why is that? I am now making it my life's work to replace the term blacklist with whitelist. I think I've made a very persassive argument for why it makes more sense. I encourage you to follow my lead. You'll be making the world a better place. And just think of the kids.
Alright, moving right along. What's up with the term dealing on the black market? You know, the place where you buy and sell illicit goods. Why is it that only illicit goods are sold on the black market? I'll tell you why. It's the man bringing the black market down. The man is too uptight, too rigid, to allow these so called illicit goods on the white market. And to that, I say this. Don't panic, it's organic. It comes from the Earth, man. And nevermind the fact that various poisonous plants come from the Earth. Nevermind the man behind the curtain. I wouldn't want to kill your buzz, man. I wouldn't want to trip all over you trip, so to speak. I wouldn't want to crap in your pot brownies. Here's the thing. To all you idiots that like to claim that pot isn't harmful to you because it comes from the Earth, consider what I'm saying. Just because something comes from the Earth doesn't make it good for you. In fact, like I said, various plants/berries that come from the GOD DAMN EARTH are bad for you. Why don't you grow the fuck up and come up with another excuse for your addiction. Okay, I went a little off track there, but that needed to be said.
I am now on the tail end of this update. I will make a few more futile attempts at being funny, so please stay with me. I have just a few more examples of racism in language. So please, consider the following:
- Black eyes. Is it possible for a black person to get a black eye? Someone get back to me on that.
- Black cats. Why are they considered bad luck? Why aren't white cats considered bad luck as well? Why aren't all cats considered bad luck? I'm more of a dog person, if you can't already tell.
- My dentist recently told me to stop drinking black pop. I told him to fuck off. I was all like, just because the pop I drink is black doesn't make it bad for my teeth. Then I kicked him in the shin, called him a racist bastard, and then started to walk away. He wasn't too happy with me and started to say something, but I turned around and cut him off. I SAID GOOD DAY SIR, I shouted at him. I was never allowed back at that place again. True story.
- The Black Plague. Also known as the Black Death. Also known as the Bubonic Plague. Okay, for one, how many god damn names does this plague need to have. I mean, I know it was one of the deadliest plagues ever, but come on. Enough is enough. Three names is just way too many. And for two, again with the black. Why does one of the deadliest plagues in the history of mankind have to have the color black associated with it? I'm kidding, of course. I do realize that it was called the Black Plague because of the black spots it produced on the skin of its victims. What do you think I am, an idiot? Don't answer that.
- Black flag. Actually, I like the black flag because I associate it with pirates. No further quarrels.
Well, it's been a long and hopefully rewarding journey. I'm glad you've made it this far. I thank you for taking the time out of your busy day to read my ramblings. Until next time, this is Ken Schweigel signing off.
Friday, August 19, 2005
This updates for you
Well, I've gotten numerous requests from a few (two) people to update. I hate to disappoint, so here goes.
Life has been going alright. I'm on the tailend of a five day vacation from work. Boy did I ever need that. Being home these past five days has made me realize how much I really hate my job. I hate that place so much, it's not even funny. Well, I'll try to make it funny, but that's for later on in the update.
I've recently started seeing a therapist. I've went three times so far, with a fourth time lined up for the 23rd. The therapist thinks I have anxiety and she wants me to see a doctor about possibly taking some medication. I've had this anxiety problem for quite some time now and I really hope the medication helps me get it under control. The therapist also thinks that I am obsessive complusive, which I can also see. I'm not sure how we're going to work on that, but like I said, I've only went three times so far. I'm sure we'll work out a plan to get that under control as well. At least I hope so.
Anyways, enough about that. I would now like to take the time to voice a compliant I have with my work.
Suggestive selling. At my work, they want me to start doing suggestive selling. If you don't know what suggestive selling is, let me give you an example. As you may or may not know, I work at 7-11. And at 7-11, you get a deal if you buy two hot dogs. If the person buys one hot dog, they want me to suggest to the person to buy the another hot dog because they get a deal. Now, for one, the person gets a whole 20 cents off, so it isn't really a deal. But nonetheless, it's still a deal. For two, that isn't my idea of suggestive selling. Here's how I would do it. Hey fat ass. Yeah, you with the beer belly. Why don't you lay off the hot dogs and take a trip down the health bar isle there. Yeah, it's the fifth isle down, health bars will be on your right. And you with your fat hand on the jelly filled donut. Why don't you move your hand up a few shelves and have yourself a bagel. And you down the candy isle. Yeah, the person who is 150 pounds overweight and can barely walk from their car into the store without breathing hard. Why don't you go and take your lard ass to the gym and get yourself on the treadmill. Now that's what I call suggestive selling. I know I'm sounding awfully harsh here, but these things needed to be said.
Moving on. Tonight is a full moon. Some of you superstitious folk out there like to blame the full moon for all the bad things that have happened to you today. Some of you even go as far as to say that people act differently around the night of a full moon. Let me start off by saying this. I, for one, do not believe any of that crap. Here is how I see it.
You are having a bad day. It's your typical bad day, except there's a full moon out tonight. Any other bad day and you would think nothing of it. Or, at the very least, you'd attribute it to bad karma or some other crazy shit like that. People have a tendency to put two things together that have nothing to do with each other and then form what they think is a logical conclusion. I'm having a bad day today. Why am I having a bad day? Oh, it must be the full moon. If this happens enough times throughout your life, you begin to associate the full moon with bad days. And when you get it in your mind that you're going to have a bad day, you usually have a bad day. That's all I'm saying.
Oh, and on the front of people acting differently around the night of a full moon. I have a co-worker who claims that people act differently around the night of a full moon. She dreads working the night of a full moon because of it. In fact, she doesn't like to work the night before and the night after a full moon either. She claims that people act differently on those nights as well. My response to her is always the same. Why don't you go ahead and include the whole week of the full moon. I mean, if you're going to include the night before and the night after, go ahead and include the whole week. And while you're at it, why don't you go ahead and include the whole month. Again, this all goes back to people associating full moons with a few people acting strangely. Any other night, someone acts strange, you think nothing of it. But around the night of a full moon, someone acts strange, and it has got to be the full moon causing that person to act strange. Never mind the fact that you're actively looking for all the strangeness in people that day. No, it can't be that. It's got to be the full moon.
Okay, enough seriousness. My next post, which I am going to post tonight, is going to be a bit lighter. Stay tuned.
Life has been going alright. I'm on the tailend of a five day vacation from work. Boy did I ever need that. Being home these past five days has made me realize how much I really hate my job. I hate that place so much, it's not even funny. Well, I'll try to make it funny, but that's for later on in the update.
I've recently started seeing a therapist. I've went three times so far, with a fourth time lined up for the 23rd. The therapist thinks I have anxiety and she wants me to see a doctor about possibly taking some medication. I've had this anxiety problem for quite some time now and I really hope the medication helps me get it under control. The therapist also thinks that I am obsessive complusive, which I can also see. I'm not sure how we're going to work on that, but like I said, I've only went three times so far. I'm sure we'll work out a plan to get that under control as well. At least I hope so.
Anyways, enough about that. I would now like to take the time to voice a compliant I have with my work.
Suggestive selling. At my work, they want me to start doing suggestive selling. If you don't know what suggestive selling is, let me give you an example. As you may or may not know, I work at 7-11. And at 7-11, you get a deal if you buy two hot dogs. If the person buys one hot dog, they want me to suggest to the person to buy the another hot dog because they get a deal. Now, for one, the person gets a whole 20 cents off, so it isn't really a deal. But nonetheless, it's still a deal. For two, that isn't my idea of suggestive selling. Here's how I would do it. Hey fat ass. Yeah, you with the beer belly. Why don't you lay off the hot dogs and take a trip down the health bar isle there. Yeah, it's the fifth isle down, health bars will be on your right. And you with your fat hand on the jelly filled donut. Why don't you move your hand up a few shelves and have yourself a bagel. And you down the candy isle. Yeah, the person who is 150 pounds overweight and can barely walk from their car into the store without breathing hard. Why don't you go and take your lard ass to the gym and get yourself on the treadmill. Now that's what I call suggestive selling. I know I'm sounding awfully harsh here, but these things needed to be said.
Moving on. Tonight is a full moon. Some of you superstitious folk out there like to blame the full moon for all the bad things that have happened to you today. Some of you even go as far as to say that people act differently around the night of a full moon. Let me start off by saying this. I, for one, do not believe any of that crap. Here is how I see it.
You are having a bad day. It's your typical bad day, except there's a full moon out tonight. Any other bad day and you would think nothing of it. Or, at the very least, you'd attribute it to bad karma or some other crazy shit like that. People have a tendency to put two things together that have nothing to do with each other and then form what they think is a logical conclusion. I'm having a bad day today. Why am I having a bad day? Oh, it must be the full moon. If this happens enough times throughout your life, you begin to associate the full moon with bad days. And when you get it in your mind that you're going to have a bad day, you usually have a bad day. That's all I'm saying.
Oh, and on the front of people acting differently around the night of a full moon. I have a co-worker who claims that people act differently around the night of a full moon. She dreads working the night of a full moon because of it. In fact, she doesn't like to work the night before and the night after a full moon either. She claims that people act differently on those nights as well. My response to her is always the same. Why don't you go ahead and include the whole week of the full moon. I mean, if you're going to include the night before and the night after, go ahead and include the whole week. And while you're at it, why don't you go ahead and include the whole month. Again, this all goes back to people associating full moons with a few people acting strangely. Any other night, someone acts strange, you think nothing of it. But around the night of a full moon, someone acts strange, and it has got to be the full moon causing that person to act strange. Never mind the fact that you're actively looking for all the strangeness in people that day. No, it can't be that. It's got to be the full moon.
Okay, enough seriousness. My next post, which I am going to post tonight, is going to be a bit lighter. Stay tuned.
Tuesday, August 09, 2005
Bored
I'm bored, but I don't feel like updating. I'll fill out this survey instead.
time started: 10:54 pm
full name: Kenneth John Schweigel
nickname(s): Snood, Clutch Armstrong, K-Sizzle
birthday: May 27th, 1984
where were you born: Warren, Michigan
zodiac sign: I'm a Gemini but zodiac signs are for jerks and lesbians
height: 5' 7"
hair color: Brown
eye color: Blue
shoe size: 9
ring size: No ideal
skin type: I'm white as a ghost
blood type: No clue
grade: In college
siblings: A sister (19) and brother (13)
tattoos: LAME
piercings:Equally LAME
hobbies: Various sports (basketball, hockey, etc.)
favorite
color: Red
food: Italian
pizza topping: Cheese and pepperoni
salad dressing: N/A
sandwich: Peanut butter and jelly
cereal: Apple Jacks
fruit: Grapes
vegetable: Corn
cake: I'm not a big fan of cake
book: 1984
movie: Spaceballs
magazine: Popular Science
tv show: Family Guy
radio station: 94.7 WCSX (a local station in Detroit that plays classic rock)
actor: Adam Carolla (even though he's a C-List celebrity)
actress: Anyone with big tits (Jessica Simpson, Angelina Jolie, etc.)
cd: I don't own many CDs, but I'd have to say Queen Greatest Hits is pretty damn good
song: ROCK YOU LIKE A HURRICANE - SCORPIONS (However, my favorite song of the moment is Woman by John Lennon)
music type: Mostly classic rock (Although, I like some new rock)
day of the week: Saturday
month: October
season: Fall
holiday: Halloween
shampoo: Dove
conditioner: Dove
number: 3, 13, and 666
store: Borders, Waldenbooks, Sears, Media Play, Best Buy
weather: Sun and clouds mixed (more sun than clouds though) with the temperature in the low 70s
restaurant: Coney
channel: Discovery Channel, National Geograhpic, History Channel, Comedy Central, ESPN
weekend activity: Every day of the week is the same for me
hangout: I enjoy hanging out in my room...yeah, I enjoy it (/end sarcasm)
house color: Light brown and green
sport to watch: Hockey
sport to play: Hockey
animal: I like dogs and cats (Dolphins are pretty cool too)
flower: Dandelions (who the hell decided tulips were so great)
guy's name: Clutch
girl's name: Amanda
party game: Eucher
have you ever
been on a train: Yes
been on a plane: Yes
been in a car accident: Not of my own causing (someone rear ended my family's car on Easter one year)
caused a car accident: No
run into a wall: Yes
burned a potato chip: With a lighter or match or something? Never.
almost burned the house down: No
smoked: Nope
been drunk: Yes, twice
broken the law: Hasn't everyone?
burned a cd: I'm not telling. But I would like to say fuck the RIAA.
kissed someone of the opposite sex: No (I'm lame, I know)
kissed someone of the same sex: I'm not gay, but I'll learn
made out: Never
had cyber sex: Yeah, in my younger days (which means yesterday)
gotten engaged: Not planning on it
had an online relationship: Nope
been rejected by a crush: No
loved: Yes
made yourself cry to get out of trouble: No, that's a chick thing
cried in public: Yeah
cried over a movie: Yeah, when I watched Bambi for the first time (In my defense, I was like four)
fallen asleep in a movie theater; Yeah, last time I remember is when I went to go see one of Shaq's movies (Blue Chips in 1994)
given someone a bath: No
been to a boarding school: Surf boarding school?
been home-schooled: No
lost a valuable item: I don't have many valuable items
bungee jumped: Nope, probably never gonna happen
skied: No
met the president: No, but if I did, you can bet your ass that I'd have a few choice words for that mother fucker
met a celebrity: No
gotten a cavity: I have a lot because I used to drink a lot of pop (Lay off the pop kids, it's not good for your teeth)
shopped at abercrombie & fitch: No, I'm not a lemming
made a prank call: Yeah, prank calls are great
skipped school: No
faked sick to get out of school: Never
climbed a tree: Yeah
fallen from a tree: Nope
broken a bone: My arm when I was nine
sprained anything: Not that I know of
passed out: No
made yourself pass out: How in the hell can you make yourself pass out?
been to disney world: Yes
been to a theme park (not disney): Yeah (Cedar Point and Six Flags counts, right?)
said i love you and meant it (not to a relative): No
made a model volcano (working model): Yeah, in the six grade
made a clover leaf with your tounge: I can't do it
past
what did you do yesterday: Worked
memory you miss the most: High school, it was such a simple time, even though I didn't particulary enjoy it
memory you want to forget: All my embrassing moments, those would be great to forget
something you regretted after it was done: Nothing is coming to mind, but I'm starting to regret filling out this lame ass survey though
the last
song you heard: Back in the USSR by the Beatles
cd you bought: I don't buy CDs. We went over this.
thing you said: No
time you cried: I can't remember
movie seen in a theater: Kicking and Screaming with my good friend E-Wizzle
thing you ate: Pizza and Three Cheese Bread from Hungry Howie's
person who called: I don't make phone calls (I can't remember the last one I made, that's how often I talk on the phone)
nail polish shade worn: I'M NOT A GIRL/FREAK YOU FUCK TARDS
time you showered: Today at 5:10 AM because I had to go to work
person who complimented you: I haven't received any compliments today. Thanks everyone.
at this moment
what are you listening to: The Beatles
what are you wearing: Blue jean shorts, an orange shirt, and socks (I'm a P I M P)
what are you thinking: Nothing at the moment, just filling out this survey
what are you scared of most: Life
how many people are on your buddy list: 62
future
occupation: No ideal
marriage site: I got nothing planned (Whatever the chick wants)
honeymoon: See above
place to live: Michigan is nice, but I'd love to move somewhere warmer in the winter
kids: Maybe two
car: I don't car, whatever gets me from point A to point B
what are you doing tomorrow: No plans
do you think george bush will be reelected: Too late
will there be a wwIII: I sure hope not
will politics ever be truthful: Yes, I strangely think so someday
will humanity snuff itself out: No, I think that science will prevent that
can the gov. be changed: Of course, the problem is people are too busy watching American Idol to give a flying rats ass, so there ya go
friends
best friend; Donnie
funniest: N/A
silliest: N/A
loudest: N/A
quietest: N/A
craziest: N/A
calmest: N/A
skinniest: N/A
best secret keeper: N/A
worst secret keeper: N/A
smartest: N/A
preppiest: N/A
peppiest: N/A
most hyper: N/A
hottest: N/A
weirdest: N/A
biggest pervert: N/A
shyest: N/A
most religious: N/A
(Sorry, I guess I don't know my friends well enough to answer these questions)
do you believe in
heaven: No
hell: No
angels: No
devil: No
god: No
buddha: No
aliens: Yes, but not the variety the human mind has cooked up (There is other lifeforms out there though)
ghosts: No (I KILLED THEM ALL WITH SALT! SALT OF THE EARTH BABY)
spirit (soul): No
soulmates: No
reincarnation: No
love at first sight: Or should I walk by again? (That's what she said)
karma: No, I think that the human mind puts two completely unrelated occurrences together and forms a conclusion that something supernatural happened (ghosts, god, aliens, karma, etc.). In reality, at least my reality, I've never seen anything to make me believe in karma.
love in general: Yes
luck: Sort of. It isn't so much luck as it is simple mathematical probability. I guess you can call that luck though. I don't believe that certain people are lucky and certain people are not though. I do use the term luck, however.
yourself: Not especially
crush
who and when was your first crush: In first grade. A girl named Amanda (I've been scarred for life)
any now: Possibly
a celebrity crush: Jessica Simpson is hot (I'd hit it)
who do you want to be with right now: I'm fine with being with myself right now
whos number do you want: I don't use phones (See above)
who do you want to kiss: I guess I'll use this space to say that I hate the term crush and the term crushing (It's so high-school-esque)
what is something you dont understand about the opposite sex: I don't understand why girls do things that do nothing to make them more attractive. A girl is attactive whether or not she has a tan, has a nose piercing, has a tattoo, etc. None of those things raise your number. At least in my mind. Here's what I'm saying. No amount of a tan, no amount of piercings/tattooes in any location, makes an ugly girl hot. A hot girl is jus that. A hot girl.
if you could go on a date with anybody, who would it be: No ideal
on scale of one to ten, how romantic are you: Zero
first thing noticed about the opposite sex: Tits and ass (It's the first thing I notice, call me shallow)
what do you look for personality-wise: A good sense of humor is the main thing
something they wear that turns you off: A burka
the most romantic thing you want to happen to you: Oral sex
the most romantic thing that has happened to you: Not oral sex
what do you wear on a coffee date: I haven't dated any coffee recently. I do, however, like my women like I like my coffee. Ground up and in the freezer.
is it right to flirt if you're taken: I think so. A lot of guys have a problem with it. I don't, as long as you aren't giving the guy head while flirting.
is cyber cheating: No, but it's still lame
are eyes the passegeway to the soul: I don't believe in the soul (Nice try with the trick questions asshole)
who would you like to take to the prom: I didn't go (I'm a real winner, lol)
do you want to hug somebody right now: No, but I feel like punching the clown
do you know what an aphrodisiac is: Yes, my lower horn is an aphrodsiac
describe
mellow: Marsh
melancholy: Depressed
the perfect date: Dinner and a movie, with oral sex performed somewhere before, during, or after dinner
the perfect mate: A girl with a good sense of humor, a nice rack/ass, and someone who likes me for me
one or the other
coke/pepsi: I don't care, but if I had to pick one, I'd say coke
sprite/7-up: Neither
boxers/briefs: Boxers
gold/silver: Gold
vanilla/chocolate: Vanilla
flowers/candy: Candy
book/magazine: Book
tv/radio: Radio
glass half empty/half full: Half full
democrat/republican: Neither. You mine as well ask me if I'd prefer to lose my left nut or right nut. I'd like to lose both. Wait a minute.... (Sorry for the bad joke)
colored pencils/markers: Colored pencils (I like colored things)
coffee/tea: Tea bag
sun/moon: Sun
day/night: Night
hot/cold: Hot
dog/cat: Dog
button/zipper: Zipper
cotton/feather pillow: Cotton
blue/purple: Blue
plumber/trashman: I belive the correct term is sanitation engineer
jeans/shorts: Shorts
long distance relationship/none: Can you have oral in a long distance relationship?
mechanical/regular pencil: Mechanical
matt/ben: Ben is so dreamy!
that 70's show/simpsons: Tough choice. The Simpsons.
kelso/eric: Kelso
donna/jackie: Jackie
bart/lisa: Bart
romeo/juliet: Juliet
romantic comedy/thriller: Comedy (not romantic)
nsync/bsb: LAME
peanut butter/jelly: Why do I have to choose between the two? They go so well together.
waffles/pancakes: Pancakes
letter/email: G-mail
florida/california: California
pizza/burgers: Pizza
hat/visor : Hat
football/rugby: Football
iceskating/blading: Both are fun. I prefer blading though.
movie at home/in theater: Home
first thing you think of when you hear
yellow: Sun
red lipstick: Oral
socks: Feet
cowtipping: Tommy Boy
moulin rouge: You know I don't speak spanish
greenland: Iceland
iceland: Greenland
harry potter: And the chamber of secrets
red: Wings
blackberry: Poisonberry
rose: A rose by any other name would smell as sweet
rooster: Cockle-cockle Doo (Or, as the gay rooster says, Any Cock'll Do)
taxes: The man
bill clinton: Monica
whipped cream: Hair cream
george w. bush: Not my President
lollipops: Candy shop
dreams: Failed memories
love: Hate
guys: HEY YOU GUYS
south park: One of the greatest cartoons of all-time
boy bands: The word homosexual comes to mind
pengiuns: Penguins don't have knee caps
girls: Tits
thong: Ass
death: Sucks
spoons: There is no spoon
junk mail: Chain letters
dairy: Cow
panties: Nice
your father: He's going to Georgia tomorrow
pizza: Pizza ass
britney spears: Classless
vitamin: B
are you
happy: Sometimes
sad: Sometimes
religious: Nope
bitchy: Never
crazy: I'm not crazy, I'm just thirsty
messy: No
mad: Sometimes
slacker: No
nerd: Yeah, I suspect so
bookworm: I would love to be more of a bookworm
jock: No
preppy: No
selfish: Not usually
giving: I try to be
obsessive: Yeah
violent: Not usually
calm: Most of the time
peaceful: Usually
mellow: Sometimes
eccentric: Yes
caring: Most of the time
untrustworthy: Very trustworthy
loyal: Not particularly
patriotic: I don't hate my country, but I wouldn't say I'm overally patriotic
perverted: Of course
colorful: I'm white
artistic: Not really
miscellanoues
what color is your jacket: I have Lions jacket
what color is your razor: Blue
what size is your bed: Futon
what color crayon would you be: Yellow (that way I'd be one of the brighest crayons in the box)
what are the last four digits of you phone number: 2844
feelings on abortion: People need to take responsibility for their actions. However, this isn't a country where people do that. So I am pro choice or anti-life, whatever you want to call it. If I got a girl pregnant, I would not make her get an abortion. In fact, I would beg for her to have the baby. It's not the baby's fault that we were irresponsible and weren't ready for a kid. I am big on people accepting responsibility for their actions. I am willing to accept resonsibility for my own actions, but I also understand that most people have a problem with that. And that's fine. It's your life. I'll lead my life how I want to. You go ahead and lead yours the way you want. And that's that.
how lond does it take you to shower: 20-30 minutes
what does your screenname mean: It's Jedi Snood Master because I am a Jedi Master at Snood
who so you trust the most: I trust no one
is cussing a necessity in life: Yes and no. It has it's place, but it shouldn't be every other word.
how about coffee: I'm not a fan
is the world screwed: In many ways, yes
what something you cant live without: KY
what time did you fall asleep: Last night at midnight
know what 69 means: It's a sexual position
how about 143: No ideal
can you live without a microwave: I'm sure I could
what do think about death: I'm not looking forward to it
where and when do you want to be married: No clue
do you want to drop out of school: No
why is the sky blue: It has something to do with the Earth's atmosphere and light waves (http://www.sciencemadesimple.com/sky_blue.html)
what is a good trait about yourself: I like my sense of humor (most people don't though, so I don't know if that's good or not)
what do you always think about: Why people act the way they do
what is wrong with your school: It's a junior college
what is right with your school: I enjoy the classes, even though they are doing nothing for my career
how do you react to change: I fear change
do you talk to yourself: Not really. I talk to myself inside my head though.
what is your opinion on love: All you need is love. Love is all you need.
what color would you dye your hair: Lame
best thing anyones told you: No ideal
what is your reaction to someone telling you you're hot: Hasn't happened
does being psycho appeal to you: Does said psycho girl give oral?
if you wrote a book, what would it be about: I have an idea for a children's book entitled "The Magical Phallus" (Details later possibly)
what would you change your name to: Yeah, to Clutch Armstrong
longest crush lasted how long: CRUSH IS TEH LAMEST TERM EVAR
tme finished : 12:18 AM (1 hour and 24 minutes)
time started: 10:54 pm
full name: Kenneth John Schweigel
nickname(s): Snood, Clutch Armstrong, K-Sizzle
birthday: May 27th, 1984
where were you born: Warren, Michigan
zodiac sign: I'm a Gemini but zodiac signs are for jerks and lesbians
height: 5' 7"
hair color: Brown
eye color: Blue
shoe size: 9
ring size: No ideal
skin type: I'm white as a ghost
blood type: No clue
grade: In college
siblings: A sister (19) and brother (13)
tattoos: LAME
piercings:Equally LAME
hobbies: Various sports (basketball, hockey, etc.)
favorite
color: Red
food: Italian
pizza topping: Cheese and pepperoni
salad dressing: N/A
sandwich: Peanut butter and jelly
cereal: Apple Jacks
fruit: Grapes
vegetable: Corn
cake: I'm not a big fan of cake
book: 1984
movie: Spaceballs
magazine: Popular Science
tv show: Family Guy
radio station: 94.7 WCSX (a local station in Detroit that plays classic rock)
actor: Adam Carolla (even though he's a C-List celebrity)
actress: Anyone with big tits (Jessica Simpson, Angelina Jolie, etc.)
cd: I don't own many CDs, but I'd have to say Queen Greatest Hits is pretty damn good
song: ROCK YOU LIKE A HURRICANE - SCORPIONS (However, my favorite song of the moment is Woman by John Lennon)
music type: Mostly classic rock (Although, I like some new rock)
day of the week: Saturday
month: October
season: Fall
holiday: Halloween
shampoo: Dove
conditioner: Dove
number: 3, 13, and 666
store: Borders, Waldenbooks, Sears, Media Play, Best Buy
weather: Sun and clouds mixed (more sun than clouds though) with the temperature in the low 70s
restaurant: Coney
channel: Discovery Channel, National Geograhpic, History Channel, Comedy Central, ESPN
weekend activity: Every day of the week is the same for me
hangout: I enjoy hanging out in my room...yeah, I enjoy it (/end sarcasm)
house color: Light brown and green
sport to watch: Hockey
sport to play: Hockey
animal: I like dogs and cats (Dolphins are pretty cool too)
flower: Dandelions (who the hell decided tulips were so great)
guy's name: Clutch
girl's name: Amanda
party game: Eucher
have you ever
been on a train: Yes
been on a plane: Yes
been in a car accident: Not of my own causing (someone rear ended my family's car on Easter one year)
caused a car accident: No
run into a wall: Yes
burned a potato chip: With a lighter or match or something? Never.
almost burned the house down: No
smoked: Nope
been drunk: Yes, twice
broken the law: Hasn't everyone?
burned a cd: I'm not telling. But I would like to say fuck the RIAA.
kissed someone of the opposite sex: No (I'm lame, I know)
kissed someone of the same sex: I'm not gay, but I'll learn
made out: Never
had cyber sex: Yeah, in my younger days (which means yesterday)
gotten engaged: Not planning on it
had an online relationship: Nope
been rejected by a crush: No
loved: Yes
made yourself cry to get out of trouble: No, that's a chick thing
cried in public: Yeah
cried over a movie: Yeah, when I watched Bambi for the first time (In my defense, I was like four)
fallen asleep in a movie theater; Yeah, last time I remember is when I went to go see one of Shaq's movies (Blue Chips in 1994)
given someone a bath: No
been to a boarding school: Surf boarding school?
been home-schooled: No
lost a valuable item: I don't have many valuable items
bungee jumped: Nope, probably never gonna happen
skied: No
met the president: No, but if I did, you can bet your ass that I'd have a few choice words for that mother fucker
met a celebrity: No
gotten a cavity: I have a lot because I used to drink a lot of pop (Lay off the pop kids, it's not good for your teeth)
shopped at abercrombie & fitch: No, I'm not a lemming
made a prank call: Yeah, prank calls are great
skipped school: No
faked sick to get out of school: Never
climbed a tree: Yeah
fallen from a tree: Nope
broken a bone: My arm when I was nine
sprained anything: Not that I know of
passed out: No
made yourself pass out: How in the hell can you make yourself pass out?
been to disney world: Yes
been to a theme park (not disney): Yeah (Cedar Point and Six Flags counts, right?)
said i love you and meant it (not to a relative): No
made a model volcano (working model): Yeah, in the six grade
made a clover leaf with your tounge: I can't do it
past
what did you do yesterday: Worked
memory you miss the most: High school, it was such a simple time, even though I didn't particulary enjoy it
memory you want to forget: All my embrassing moments, those would be great to forget
something you regretted after it was done: Nothing is coming to mind, but I'm starting to regret filling out this lame ass survey though
the last
song you heard: Back in the USSR by the Beatles
cd you bought: I don't buy CDs. We went over this.
thing you said: No
time you cried: I can't remember
movie seen in a theater: Kicking and Screaming with my good friend E-Wizzle
thing you ate: Pizza and Three Cheese Bread from Hungry Howie's
person who called: I don't make phone calls (I can't remember the last one I made, that's how often I talk on the phone)
nail polish shade worn: I'M NOT A GIRL/FREAK YOU FUCK TARDS
time you showered: Today at 5:10 AM because I had to go to work
person who complimented you: I haven't received any compliments today. Thanks everyone.
at this moment
what are you listening to: The Beatles
what are you wearing: Blue jean shorts, an orange shirt, and socks (I'm a P I M P)
what are you thinking: Nothing at the moment, just filling out this survey
what are you scared of most: Life
how many people are on your buddy list: 62
future
occupation: No ideal
marriage site: I got nothing planned (Whatever the chick wants)
honeymoon: See above
place to live: Michigan is nice, but I'd love to move somewhere warmer in the winter
kids: Maybe two
car: I don't car, whatever gets me from point A to point B
what are you doing tomorrow: No plans
do you think george bush will be reelected: Too late
will there be a wwIII: I sure hope not
will politics ever be truthful: Yes, I strangely think so someday
will humanity snuff itself out: No, I think that science will prevent that
can the gov. be changed: Of course, the problem is people are too busy watching American Idol to give a flying rats ass, so there ya go
friends
best friend; Donnie
funniest: N/A
silliest: N/A
loudest: N/A
quietest: N/A
craziest: N/A
calmest: N/A
skinniest: N/A
best secret keeper: N/A
worst secret keeper: N/A
smartest: N/A
preppiest: N/A
peppiest: N/A
most hyper: N/A
hottest: N/A
weirdest: N/A
biggest pervert: N/A
shyest: N/A
most religious: N/A
(Sorry, I guess I don't know my friends well enough to answer these questions)
do you believe in
heaven: No
hell: No
angels: No
devil: No
god: No
buddha: No
aliens: Yes, but not the variety the human mind has cooked up (There is other lifeforms out there though)
ghosts: No (I KILLED THEM ALL WITH SALT! SALT OF THE EARTH BABY)
spirit (soul): No
soulmates: No
reincarnation: No
love at first sight: Or should I walk by again? (That's what she said)
karma: No, I think that the human mind puts two completely unrelated occurrences together and forms a conclusion that something supernatural happened (ghosts, god, aliens, karma, etc.). In reality, at least my reality, I've never seen anything to make me believe in karma.
love in general: Yes
luck: Sort of. It isn't so much luck as it is simple mathematical probability. I guess you can call that luck though. I don't believe that certain people are lucky and certain people are not though. I do use the term luck, however.
yourself: Not especially
crush
who and when was your first crush: In first grade. A girl named Amanda (I've been scarred for life)
any now: Possibly
a celebrity crush: Jessica Simpson is hot (I'd hit it)
who do you want to be with right now: I'm fine with being with myself right now
whos number do you want: I don't use phones (See above)
who do you want to kiss: I guess I'll use this space to say that I hate the term crush and the term crushing (It's so high-school-esque)
what is something you dont understand about the opposite sex: I don't understand why girls do things that do nothing to make them more attractive. A girl is attactive whether or not she has a tan, has a nose piercing, has a tattoo, etc. None of those things raise your number. At least in my mind. Here's what I'm saying. No amount of a tan, no amount of piercings/tattooes in any location, makes an ugly girl hot. A hot girl is jus that. A hot girl.
if you could go on a date with anybody, who would it be: No ideal
on scale of one to ten, how romantic are you: Zero
first thing noticed about the opposite sex: Tits and ass (It's the first thing I notice, call me shallow)
what do you look for personality-wise: A good sense of humor is the main thing
something they wear that turns you off: A burka
the most romantic thing you want to happen to you: Oral sex
the most romantic thing that has happened to you: Not oral sex
what do you wear on a coffee date: I haven't dated any coffee recently. I do, however, like my women like I like my coffee. Ground up and in the freezer.
is it right to flirt if you're taken: I think so. A lot of guys have a problem with it. I don't, as long as you aren't giving the guy head while flirting.
is cyber cheating: No, but it's still lame
are eyes the passegeway to the soul: I don't believe in the soul (Nice try with the trick questions asshole)
who would you like to take to the prom: I didn't go (I'm a real winner, lol)
do you want to hug somebody right now: No, but I feel like punching the clown
do you know what an aphrodisiac is: Yes, my lower horn is an aphrodsiac
describe
mellow: Marsh
melancholy: Depressed
the perfect date: Dinner and a movie, with oral sex performed somewhere before, during, or after dinner
the perfect mate: A girl with a good sense of humor, a nice rack/ass, and someone who likes me for me
one or the other
coke/pepsi: I don't care, but if I had to pick one, I'd say coke
sprite/7-up: Neither
boxers/briefs: Boxers
gold/silver: Gold
vanilla/chocolate: Vanilla
flowers/candy: Candy
book/magazine: Book
tv/radio: Radio
glass half empty/half full: Half full
democrat/republican: Neither. You mine as well ask me if I'd prefer to lose my left nut or right nut. I'd like to lose both. Wait a minute.... (Sorry for the bad joke)
colored pencils/markers: Colored pencils (I like colored things)
coffee/tea: Tea bag
sun/moon: Sun
day/night: Night
hot/cold: Hot
dog/cat: Dog
button/zipper: Zipper
cotton/feather pillow: Cotton
blue/purple: Blue
plumber/trashman: I belive the correct term is sanitation engineer
jeans/shorts: Shorts
long distance relationship/none: Can you have oral in a long distance relationship?
mechanical/regular pencil: Mechanical
matt/ben: Ben is so dreamy!
that 70's show/simpsons: Tough choice. The Simpsons.
kelso/eric: Kelso
donna/jackie: Jackie
bart/lisa: Bart
romeo/juliet: Juliet
romantic comedy/thriller: Comedy (not romantic)
nsync/bsb: LAME
peanut butter/jelly: Why do I have to choose between the two? They go so well together.
waffles/pancakes: Pancakes
letter/email: G-mail
florida/california: California
pizza/burgers: Pizza
hat/visor : Hat
football/rugby: Football
iceskating/blading: Both are fun. I prefer blading though.
movie at home/in theater: Home
first thing you think of when you hear
yellow: Sun
red lipstick: Oral
socks: Feet
cowtipping: Tommy Boy
moulin rouge: You know I don't speak spanish
greenland: Iceland
iceland: Greenland
harry potter: And the chamber of secrets
red: Wings
blackberry: Poisonberry
rose: A rose by any other name would smell as sweet
rooster: Cockle-cockle Doo (Or, as the gay rooster says, Any Cock'll Do)
taxes: The man
bill clinton: Monica
whipped cream: Hair cream
george w. bush: Not my President
lollipops: Candy shop
dreams: Failed memories
love: Hate
guys: HEY YOU GUYS
south park: One of the greatest cartoons of all-time
boy bands: The word homosexual comes to mind
pengiuns: Penguins don't have knee caps
girls: Tits
thong: Ass
death: Sucks
spoons: There is no spoon
junk mail: Chain letters
dairy: Cow
panties: Nice
your father: He's going to Georgia tomorrow
pizza: Pizza ass
britney spears: Classless
vitamin: B
are you
happy: Sometimes
sad: Sometimes
religious: Nope
bitchy: Never
crazy: I'm not crazy, I'm just thirsty
messy: No
mad: Sometimes
slacker: No
nerd: Yeah, I suspect so
bookworm: I would love to be more of a bookworm
jock: No
preppy: No
selfish: Not usually
giving: I try to be
obsessive: Yeah
violent: Not usually
calm: Most of the time
peaceful: Usually
mellow: Sometimes
eccentric: Yes
caring: Most of the time
untrustworthy: Very trustworthy
loyal: Not particularly
patriotic: I don't hate my country, but I wouldn't say I'm overally patriotic
perverted: Of course
colorful: I'm white
artistic: Not really
miscellanoues
what color is your jacket: I have Lions jacket
what color is your razor: Blue
what size is your bed: Futon
what color crayon would you be: Yellow (that way I'd be one of the brighest crayons in the box)
what are the last four digits of you phone number: 2844
feelings on abortion: People need to take responsibility for their actions. However, this isn't a country where people do that. So I am pro choice or anti-life, whatever you want to call it. If I got a girl pregnant, I would not make her get an abortion. In fact, I would beg for her to have the baby. It's not the baby's fault that we were irresponsible and weren't ready for a kid. I am big on people accepting responsibility for their actions. I am willing to accept resonsibility for my own actions, but I also understand that most people have a problem with that. And that's fine. It's your life. I'll lead my life how I want to. You go ahead and lead yours the way you want. And that's that.
how lond does it take you to shower: 20-30 minutes
what does your screenname mean: It's Jedi Snood Master because I am a Jedi Master at Snood
who so you trust the most: I trust no one
is cussing a necessity in life: Yes and no. It has it's place, but it shouldn't be every other word.
how about coffee: I'm not a fan
is the world screwed: In many ways, yes
what something you cant live without: KY
what time did you fall asleep: Last night at midnight
know what 69 means: It's a sexual position
how about 143: No ideal
can you live without a microwave: I'm sure I could
what do think about death: I'm not looking forward to it
where and when do you want to be married: No clue
do you want to drop out of school: No
why is the sky blue: It has something to do with the Earth's atmosphere and light waves (http://www.sciencemadesimple.com/sky_blue.html)
what is a good trait about yourself: I like my sense of humor (most people don't though, so I don't know if that's good or not)
what do you always think about: Why people act the way they do
what is wrong with your school: It's a junior college
what is right with your school: I enjoy the classes, even though they are doing nothing for my career
how do you react to change: I fear change
do you talk to yourself: Not really. I talk to myself inside my head though.
what is your opinion on love: All you need is love. Love is all you need.
what color would you dye your hair: Lame
best thing anyones told you: No ideal
what is your reaction to someone telling you you're hot: Hasn't happened
does being psycho appeal to you: Does said psycho girl give oral?
if you wrote a book, what would it be about: I have an idea for a children's book entitled "The Magical Phallus" (Details later possibly)
what would you change your name to: Yeah, to Clutch Armstrong
longest crush lasted how long: CRUSH IS TEH LAMEST TERM EVAR
tme finished : 12:18 AM (1 hour and 24 minutes)
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