"[My] whole passion to be on this planet is to educate people about wildlife," he said in 1998. "I will die doing that. I have a gift."--Steve Irwin
You sure were right about that one, Stevo. At least he died doing what he loved though. I mean, he probably didn't love it too much at the time or anything. But hey, we should all be so lucky. I hope one day that can be said about me. At least then I'll be assured of death by masturbation.
Speaking of masturbation, I want everyone to know that I've recently decided to name my penis genius. That way, whenever I beat off, I'll have a stroke of genius. I know all of you were dying to know that. I'm just throwing it out there, so to speak.
In other news, I went to the dentist on Thursday. Every single time I leave that place, I feel like I've been raped. That's figuratively speaking people. Don't get any ideas involving nitrous oxide, rubber gloves, dental floss, and my asshole, you faggot. Anyways, the procedure took two god damn hours to complete, and after it was done, I had a nice bill of around 500 dollars waiting for me at the receptionist's desk. Oh well, it could have been worse. If I didn't have insurance, it would have been closer to 1,000 dollars. Yeah, that's looking on the bright side....
Okay, that's all I've got to say today. Before I go though, I'd like to dedicate a song to Steve. This one's for you man.
I remember when Steve was young
He and Terri had so much fun
Holding snakes and skimming stones
Had a day time emmy and a show of his own
But the biggest kick he ever got
Was doing a thing called the crocodile rock
While the other guys were filming round the clock
They were hopping and bopping to the crocodile rock
Well crocodile rocking is something shocking
When your feet just can't keep still
He never knew him a better time and I guess he never will
Oh lordy mama those Friday nights
When Terri wore her khakis tight
And the crocodile rocking was out of sight
But the years went by and the guy just died
Terri went and left him for some foreign guy
Long nights crying by the T.V. machine
Dreaming of his emmy and his old khaki jeans
But they'll never kill the thrills he got
Burning up to the crocodile rock
Learning fast as the weeks went past
I really thought the crocodile rock would last
Well crocodile rocking is something shocking
When your feet just can't keep still
He never knew him a better time and I guess he never will
Oh lordy mama those Friday nights
When Terri wore her khakis tight
And the crocodile rocking was out of sight
I remember when Steve was young
He and Terri had so much fun
Holding snakes and skimming stones
Had a day time emmy and a show of his own
But the biggest kick he ever got
Was doing a thing called the crocodile rock
While the other guys were filming round the clock
They were hopping and bopping to the crocodile rock
Well crocodile rocking is something shocking
When your feet just can't keep still
He never knew him a better time and I guess he never will
Oh lordy mama those Friday nights
When Terri wore her khakis tight
And the crocodile rocking was out of sight
RIP Steve Irwin. Cricky, we hardly knew ye.
Monday, September 04, 2006
Friday, August 25, 2006
Pluto No Longer A Planet
Yes folks. You heard it here first. Oh, what's that? You didn't hear it here first? My bad. This is such big news though, it has forced me to post two days in a row. Here's my take on the "controversy":
Ever since grade school, I've had a problem with Pluto as a planet. I think it all started in the second grade. We were learning about the planets one week and we had to take a test at week's end. One of the questions on the test was to name all the planets. Well, guess what planet I forgot to name? That's right, Pluto. I was so pissed, that one question fucked me over. I could have gotten 100%, but nooooooooo. I forgot Pluto. But NOW, now that Pluto is no longer a planet, I get the last laugh. You know what. Getting the last laugh isn't enough. I should march down to my elementary school, punch my second grade teacher in her ovaries, and demand my grade to be changed. I deserved that 100%, and if it wasn't for some wannabe planet, I would have gotten it right then and there. An injustice was committed and I shall have my revenge. Oh yes, I shall have my revenge....
In all seriousness though, I agree with the decision. In high school, my favorite class was astronomy. Mr. Toll, that was my astromony teacher's name, was also one of my favorite teachers. He gave us a list of reasons why Pluto shouldn't be considered a planet. Well, being since astronomy was my favorite class, I kept all my notes from high school. I'd like to repost the reasons he gave the class, partly because it brings back memories, and partly because I find it interesting. Here are the reasons he gave us:
Reason one: It should be large like the other gas giants, but it's small.
Reason two: It should be gas like the other gas giants, but it's solid.
Reason three: Pluto's orbit is very eccentric, it is more similar to an asteroid than a planet.
Reason four: It does not orbit on the same plane of the solar system as the rest of the planets.
Reason five: It does not follow Bode's Law.
The thing I like about astronomy, and science in general, is that it's self correcting. It's ever changing, always working towards the correct answer. It is never perfect, and probably never will be, but it isn't afraid to change. This is where science greatly difers with people. People are afraid to change. People are nostalgic. People like tradition. People remember learning about Pluto in grade school, and there is a sort of attachment to it. Take John Gibson for instance.
"But no, you can't unmake Pluto as a planet.
Long ago I learned it was a planet and I see no reason to unlearn it. Why should I?"
Imagine this guy, or a guy like him, when it was finally acknowledged that the Earth wasn't the center of the universe.
"But no, you can't unmake the Earth as the center of the universe.
Long ago I learned the Earth was the center of the universe and I see no reason to unlearn it. Why should I?"
Or how about back when just about everybody thought the Earth was flat? How would a guy like this react when people finally accepted that the Earth was round?
"But no, you can't unmake the Earth as flat.
Long ago I learned the Earth was flat and I see no reason to unlearn it. Why should I?"
According to his logic, we shouldn't unlearn anything we learn. Everything we've ever learned is the truth and will always be the truth. Not even new information can change it. Well, John Gibson. If that journalism thing doesn't work out for you, I think you have a future in the Bush administration. ZING!
One question still remains though. Why should we change now? Well, as I've illustrated, new information is always a good reason for change. Better technology has allowed us to discover that Pluto isn't as unique as we thought it was. Back when it was discovered in 1930, we obviously didn't have the technology that we do today. We thought Pluto was unique, a one of a kind "planet." Come to find out though, it isn't so unique. There are probably hundreds of "planets" like it beyond Neptune. Should we really have hundreds of planets in the solar system? (Planets like 2003 UB 313, which is basically just a bigger version of Pluto.) Should seniority be given to Pluto because it's been around for 70+ years? Is Walt Disney rolling over in his grave? How about the guy who discovered Pluto, Clyde Tombaugh? How you answer these questions is up to you.
Oh, you say you want my personal opinions? Well tough shit, I'm going to give them to you anyway. Eight is enough, no seniority should be given, and yes to both Walt and Clyde rolling over in their respect graves.
I've rambled on for far too long, it's time for me to go. If you made it this far, thank you for taking the time out of your day. I hope you were at least somewhat entertained or intrigued. If not, see my disclaimer. Once you've read it, you can't unread it.
Ever since grade school, I've had a problem with Pluto as a planet. I think it all started in the second grade. We were learning about the planets one week and we had to take a test at week's end. One of the questions on the test was to name all the planets. Well, guess what planet I forgot to name? That's right, Pluto. I was so pissed, that one question fucked me over. I could have gotten 100%, but nooooooooo. I forgot Pluto. But NOW, now that Pluto is no longer a planet, I get the last laugh. You know what. Getting the last laugh isn't enough. I should march down to my elementary school, punch my second grade teacher in her ovaries, and demand my grade to be changed. I deserved that 100%, and if it wasn't for some wannabe planet, I would have gotten it right then and there. An injustice was committed and I shall have my revenge. Oh yes, I shall have my revenge....
In all seriousness though, I agree with the decision. In high school, my favorite class was astronomy. Mr. Toll, that was my astromony teacher's name, was also one of my favorite teachers. He gave us a list of reasons why Pluto shouldn't be considered a planet. Well, being since astronomy was my favorite class, I kept all my notes from high school. I'd like to repost the reasons he gave the class, partly because it brings back memories, and partly because I find it interesting. Here are the reasons he gave us:
Reason one: It should be large like the other gas giants, but it's small.
Reason two: It should be gas like the other gas giants, but it's solid.
Reason three: Pluto's orbit is very eccentric, it is more similar to an asteroid than a planet.
Reason four: It does not orbit on the same plane of the solar system as the rest of the planets.
Reason five: It does not follow Bode's Law.
The thing I like about astronomy, and science in general, is that it's self correcting. It's ever changing, always working towards the correct answer. It is never perfect, and probably never will be, but it isn't afraid to change. This is where science greatly difers with people. People are afraid to change. People are nostalgic. People like tradition. People remember learning about Pluto in grade school, and there is a sort of attachment to it. Take John Gibson for instance.
"But no, you can't unmake Pluto as a planet.
Long ago I learned it was a planet and I see no reason to unlearn it. Why should I?"
Imagine this guy, or a guy like him, when it was finally acknowledged that the Earth wasn't the center of the universe.
"But no, you can't unmake the Earth as the center of the universe.
Long ago I learned the Earth was the center of the universe and I see no reason to unlearn it. Why should I?"
Or how about back when just about everybody thought the Earth was flat? How would a guy like this react when people finally accepted that the Earth was round?
"But no, you can't unmake the Earth as flat.
Long ago I learned the Earth was flat and I see no reason to unlearn it. Why should I?"
According to his logic, we shouldn't unlearn anything we learn. Everything we've ever learned is the truth and will always be the truth. Not even new information can change it. Well, John Gibson. If that journalism thing doesn't work out for you, I think you have a future in the Bush administration. ZING!
One question still remains though. Why should we change now? Well, as I've illustrated, new information is always a good reason for change. Better technology has allowed us to discover that Pluto isn't as unique as we thought it was. Back when it was discovered in 1930, we obviously didn't have the technology that we do today. We thought Pluto was unique, a one of a kind "planet." Come to find out though, it isn't so unique. There are probably hundreds of "planets" like it beyond Neptune. Should we really have hundreds of planets in the solar system? (Planets like 2003 UB 313, which is basically just a bigger version of Pluto.) Should seniority be given to Pluto because it's been around for 70+ years? Is Walt Disney rolling over in his grave? How about the guy who discovered Pluto, Clyde Tombaugh? How you answer these questions is up to you.
Oh, you say you want my personal opinions? Well tough shit, I'm going to give them to you anyway. Eight is enough, no seniority should be given, and yes to both Walt and Clyde rolling over in their respect graves.
I've rambled on for far too long, it's time for me to go. If you made it this far, thank you for taking the time out of your day. I hope you were at least somewhat entertained or intrigued. If not, see my disclaimer. Once you've read it, you can't unread it.
Thursday, August 24, 2006
The Move, My Vaca, and Chicken S Tickets
Well, it's been about two months since I last posted. A lot of new and exciting things have happened since then:
I moved in with my grandma at the end of July. So far so good. A few people have asked me why I moved in with my grandma, and the reasons for that are multiple. Reason one, my grandma needs some extra money. Reason two, when my sister moved back in with our parents, she had to live in the basement. For the last several years, the basement has been my dad's personal get-a-way. With me out of the picture, my brother gets his old room back (my old room was his when I went away to college), my sister gets her room back (the room that my brother took over when she moved out), and my dad gets his basement back. Reason three, I was running out of space for my stuff, so now that I live with my grandma, I have more room. There are a few other reasons that I can't think of right now, but those are the main ones.
I went on vacation Saturday-Saturday (August 12-19) this past week. I went with my grandma to my aunt's cottage in Cheboygan. My uncle and two cousins were also there. We stayed there a few days and then later in the week we went to Mackinac Island. It was alright, the place is a little too expensive for my tastes. We stayed in a hotel overnight on the island. That was probably my favorite part because it was nice to see the place at night. Hardly any people on the streets and the smell of horse shit was out of the air. If you didn't already know, cars aren't allowed on the island. In order to get anywhere, you either have to walk, ride a bike, or take a horse carriage. Needless to say, the smell of horse lingers quite a bit while you're on the main street during the day. Come to think of it, that's probably why I don't care too much for Mackinac Island fudge.
Just before I went on vacation, I got pulled over by a cop. I was going to work, just driving along, and all of a sudden I see him behind me with his sirens on. I pull into a side street and stop. He stops behind me, gets out of the car and walks to my car. He asks me for the usual things, license, registration, and proof of insurance. I hand him all my information and he looks at it for a second or two. At this point, I'm dumbfounded because I have no idea what's going on. I wasn't speeding, I didn't run a red light, I didn't make an illegal turn, etc. After a few more seconds, he finally says to me that my car is mislabeled on my proof of insurance. It says Daytona Pacifica on there, but I guess on his computer it just says Pacifica. I was ready to call bull shit at this point, but I know better than that. Personally, I think he was just looking for a reason to pull me over and give me a chicken shit ticket. In any event, he tells me that was all and that I'm free to go. I didn't ask why he pulled me over, but like I said, I think I know why. I think N.W.A. said it best when they said, "Fuck tha Police."
Okay, that is all for this update. I'll try to update more frequently in the future. Not like any of you care. Good day, sir.
I SAID GOOD DAY!
I moved in with my grandma at the end of July. So far so good. A few people have asked me why I moved in with my grandma, and the reasons for that are multiple. Reason one, my grandma needs some extra money. Reason two, when my sister moved back in with our parents, she had to live in the basement. For the last several years, the basement has been my dad's personal get-a-way. With me out of the picture, my brother gets his old room back (my old room was his when I went away to college), my sister gets her room back (the room that my brother took over when she moved out), and my dad gets his basement back. Reason three, I was running out of space for my stuff, so now that I live with my grandma, I have more room. There are a few other reasons that I can't think of right now, but those are the main ones.
I went on vacation Saturday-Saturday (August 12-19) this past week. I went with my grandma to my aunt's cottage in Cheboygan. My uncle and two cousins were also there. We stayed there a few days and then later in the week we went to Mackinac Island. It was alright, the place is a little too expensive for my tastes. We stayed in a hotel overnight on the island. That was probably my favorite part because it was nice to see the place at night. Hardly any people on the streets and the smell of horse shit was out of the air. If you didn't already know, cars aren't allowed on the island. In order to get anywhere, you either have to walk, ride a bike, or take a horse carriage. Needless to say, the smell of horse lingers quite a bit while you're on the main street during the day. Come to think of it, that's probably why I don't care too much for Mackinac Island fudge.
Just before I went on vacation, I got pulled over by a cop. I was going to work, just driving along, and all of a sudden I see him behind me with his sirens on. I pull into a side street and stop. He stops behind me, gets out of the car and walks to my car. He asks me for the usual things, license, registration, and proof of insurance. I hand him all my information and he looks at it for a second or two. At this point, I'm dumbfounded because I have no idea what's going on. I wasn't speeding, I didn't run a red light, I didn't make an illegal turn, etc. After a few more seconds, he finally says to me that my car is mislabeled on my proof of insurance. It says Daytona Pacifica on there, but I guess on his computer it just says Pacifica. I was ready to call bull shit at this point, but I know better than that. Personally, I think he was just looking for a reason to pull me over and give me a chicken shit ticket. In any event, he tells me that was all and that I'm free to go. I didn't ask why he pulled me over, but like I said, I think I know why. I think N.W.A. said it best when they said, "Fuck tha Police."
Okay, that is all for this update. I'll try to update more frequently in the future. Not like any of you care. Good day, sir.
I SAID GOOD DAY!
Monday, June 19, 2006
Don Cherry = The Man
That's all that needs to be said really. I'm so glad my cable provider carries CBC, or else I'd be stuck watching game seven on NBC. NBC doesn't do a bad job, but it can't even begin to hold a candle to Don Cherry and CBC.
One last thing:
GO OILERS!
Now that it has reached game seven, I've changed my mind again. I've always wanted the Oilers to win the Cup, but I changed my mind after Roloson got injured. I'm back to where I started, and I hope the Oilers win tonight.
That is all. Good day, sir.
One last thing:
GO OILERS!
Now that it has reached game seven, I've changed my mind again. I've always wanted the Oilers to win the Cup, but I changed my mind after Roloson got injured. I'm back to where I started, and I hope the Oilers win tonight.
That is all. Good day, sir.
Monday, June 12, 2006
Big Ben seriously hurt in motorcycle accident
When I first read that headline, I thought they were talking about Ben Wallace. But then I remembered that black guys don't ride motorcycles. Here the full story (click the title to read from the original source):
PITTSBURGH (AP) - Steelers star Ben Roethlisberger, the youngest quarterback to lead a team to the Super Bowl championship, broke his jaw and nose in a motorcycle crash Monday in which he was not wearing a helmet.
Roethlisberger was in serious but stable condition, Dr. Larry Jones, chief of trauma at Mercy Hospital said before surgery.
The player's agent, Leigh Steinberg, described the injuries to The Associated Press and said he did not know if there was further damage.
"He was talking to me before he left for the operating room," Jones said. "He's coherent. He's making sense. He knows what happened. He knows where he is. From that standpoint, he's very stable."
Roethlisberger's mother, Brenda, was crying as she arrived at the hospital.
Steelers president Art Rooney II said the team was "encouraged by the early reports from the medical team" at the hospital. "I am sure Ben knows that we are praying for his complete recovery."
The 24-year-old Roethlisberger was without a helmet, police said. He has said he likes to ride without one, a habit that once prompted a lecture from Pittsburgh coach Bill Cowher.
Roethlisberger was on his black 2005 Suzuki Hayabusa - the company calls it the world's fastest bike for legal street riding - and heading toward an intersection on the edge of downtown. A silver Chrysler New Yorker traveling in the opposite direction took a left turn and collided with the motorcycle, and Roethlisberger was thrown, police said.
The other car was driven by a 62-year-old woman, police said. They didn't immediately release her name and no charges were filed.
Witness Sandra Ford was waiting at a bus stop when she said she saw the motorcycle approach. Seconds later, she said she heard a crash, saw the motorcyclist in the air and ran toward the crash scene.
"He wasn't moving and I was afraid that he had died. ... He wasn't really speaking. He seemed dazed but he was resisting the effort to make him stay down," said Ford, who didn't realize the motorcyclist was Roethlisberger.
Police spokesman Lt. Kevin Kraus said police and homicide units were leading the investigation, a standard practice when there is an accident with critical injuries.
In only his second year in the NFL, Roethlisberger helped guide the Steelers to the Super Bowl title in February at age 23. Training camp for next season begins at the end of July.
Several teammates, including backup quarterback Charlie Batch, linebacker Joey Porter and safety Mike Logan, arrived at the emergency room.
Some fans also gathered at the hospital, including Juanita Clark, who sells Steelers paraphernalia.
"I just feel like he's a family member," said her daughter, Loretta Clark.
Roethlisberger has said in the past that he prefers not to wear a helmet when riding his motorcycle. He has pointed out Pennsylvania's state law requiring helmets to be worn was repealed in September 2003.
In May 2005, Cowher warned him about safe riding after Cleveland tight end Kellen Winslow Jr. was injured in a motorcycle accident. Winslow tore knee ligaments and was lost for the season.
"He talked about being a risk-taker and I'm not really a risk-taker. I'm pretty conservative and laid back, but the big thing is to just be careful," Roethlisberger said at the time. "I'll just continue to be careful. I told him we don't ever ride alone, we always ride in a group of people, and I think it makes it even more safe."
Roethlisberger continued to ride after Winslow's accident and that angered Terry Bradshaw, who quarterbacked the Steelers to four Super Bowl victories during the 1970s.
Visiting the Steelers' training camp last summer, Bradshaw remarked: "Ride it when you retire.
Okay, let me get this straight. He is glad to wear a helmet on a football field, and yet, he isn't willing to wear a helmet while he's riding a motorcycle? Does that make sense to anyone else? I mean, more people die annually in motorcycle related crashes than in football related crashes. So wouldn't it make sense to also wear a helmet while riding your motorcycle? In his case, I guess not....
Better yet, as a professional athlete, how about not riding a motorcycle at all? Professional athletes, even the mediocre ones, stand to make millions of dollars throughout their career. I mean, even the twelve man on an NBA team makes decent money, just for sitting his ass on the bench all year. If I was gifted enough to play professionally, I would try my damnest to protect my potential earnings. I'd never engaged in any activities that could jeopardize my career. Motorcyle riding would top that list, followed closely by drug related activities, among other things. I believe Terry Bradshaw said it best: "Ride it when you retire." Oh, and Michael Irvin too: "Smoke it when you retire.... Shit, smoke it during halftime."
Do professional athletes think that they are invincible, or are they just stupid (or both)? Does thinking that you are invincible and being stupid go hand in hand? Well, not that this is an accurate sample or anything, but I know a few people who think that they are invincible. To me, these people seem pretty stupid. That's not to say that I'm a genious or anything, I'd say that I'm of average intelligence. If you can at least give me that, then it follows that people who are dumber than me are just plain stupid. I'm not trying to pigeonhole anybody here, but I think that my assumption holds true, for the most part. The dumber you are, the more invincible you feel.
Well, I've been blogging an awful lot about sports lately. Nobody seems to be reading any of it, but what else is new? Okay, that's all for now. Good day, sir.
I SAID GOOD DAY.
PITTSBURGH (AP) - Steelers star Ben Roethlisberger, the youngest quarterback to lead a team to the Super Bowl championship, broke his jaw and nose in a motorcycle crash Monday in which he was not wearing a helmet.
Roethlisberger was in serious but stable condition, Dr. Larry Jones, chief of trauma at Mercy Hospital said before surgery.
The player's agent, Leigh Steinberg, described the injuries to The Associated Press and said he did not know if there was further damage.
"He was talking to me before he left for the operating room," Jones said. "He's coherent. He's making sense. He knows what happened. He knows where he is. From that standpoint, he's very stable."
Roethlisberger's mother, Brenda, was crying as she arrived at the hospital.
Steelers president Art Rooney II said the team was "encouraged by the early reports from the medical team" at the hospital. "I am sure Ben knows that we are praying for his complete recovery."
The 24-year-old Roethlisberger was without a helmet, police said. He has said he likes to ride without one, a habit that once prompted a lecture from Pittsburgh coach Bill Cowher.
Roethlisberger was on his black 2005 Suzuki Hayabusa - the company calls it the world's fastest bike for legal street riding - and heading toward an intersection on the edge of downtown. A silver Chrysler New Yorker traveling in the opposite direction took a left turn and collided with the motorcycle, and Roethlisberger was thrown, police said.
The other car was driven by a 62-year-old woman, police said. They didn't immediately release her name and no charges were filed.
Witness Sandra Ford was waiting at a bus stop when she said she saw the motorcycle approach. Seconds later, she said she heard a crash, saw the motorcyclist in the air and ran toward the crash scene.
"He wasn't moving and I was afraid that he had died. ... He wasn't really speaking. He seemed dazed but he was resisting the effort to make him stay down," said Ford, who didn't realize the motorcyclist was Roethlisberger.
Police spokesman Lt. Kevin Kraus said police and homicide units were leading the investigation, a standard practice when there is an accident with critical injuries.
In only his second year in the NFL, Roethlisberger helped guide the Steelers to the Super Bowl title in February at age 23. Training camp for next season begins at the end of July.
Several teammates, including backup quarterback Charlie Batch, linebacker Joey Porter and safety Mike Logan, arrived at the emergency room.
Some fans also gathered at the hospital, including Juanita Clark, who sells Steelers paraphernalia.
"I just feel like he's a family member," said her daughter, Loretta Clark.
Roethlisberger has said in the past that he prefers not to wear a helmet when riding his motorcycle. He has pointed out Pennsylvania's state law requiring helmets to be worn was repealed in September 2003.
In May 2005, Cowher warned him about safe riding after Cleveland tight end Kellen Winslow Jr. was injured in a motorcycle accident. Winslow tore knee ligaments and was lost for the season.
"He talked about being a risk-taker and I'm not really a risk-taker. I'm pretty conservative and laid back, but the big thing is to just be careful," Roethlisberger said at the time. "I'll just continue to be careful. I told him we don't ever ride alone, we always ride in a group of people, and I think it makes it even more safe."
Roethlisberger continued to ride after Winslow's accident and that angered Terry Bradshaw, who quarterbacked the Steelers to four Super Bowl victories during the 1970s.
Visiting the Steelers' training camp last summer, Bradshaw remarked: "Ride it when you retire.
Okay, let me get this straight. He is glad to wear a helmet on a football field, and yet, he isn't willing to wear a helmet while he's riding a motorcycle? Does that make sense to anyone else? I mean, more people die annually in motorcycle related crashes than in football related crashes. So wouldn't it make sense to also wear a helmet while riding your motorcycle? In his case, I guess not....
Better yet, as a professional athlete, how about not riding a motorcycle at all? Professional athletes, even the mediocre ones, stand to make millions of dollars throughout their career. I mean, even the twelve man on an NBA team makes decent money, just for sitting his ass on the bench all year. If I was gifted enough to play professionally, I would try my damnest to protect my potential earnings. I'd never engaged in any activities that could jeopardize my career. Motorcyle riding would top that list, followed closely by drug related activities, among other things. I believe Terry Bradshaw said it best: "Ride it when you retire." Oh, and Michael Irvin too: "Smoke it when you retire.... Shit, smoke it during halftime."
Do professional athletes think that they are invincible, or are they just stupid (or both)? Does thinking that you are invincible and being stupid go hand in hand? Well, not that this is an accurate sample or anything, but I know a few people who think that they are invincible. To me, these people seem pretty stupid. That's not to say that I'm a genious or anything, I'd say that I'm of average intelligence. If you can at least give me that, then it follows that people who are dumber than me are just plain stupid. I'm not trying to pigeonhole anybody here, but I think that my assumption holds true, for the most part. The dumber you are, the more invincible you feel.
Well, I've been blogging an awful lot about sports lately. Nobody seems to be reading any of it, but what else is new? Okay, that's all for now. Good day, sir.
I SAID GOOD DAY.
Tuesday, June 06, 2006
Happy Beast Day
Well, it looks like I spoke too soon about the Oilers. With Roloson out for the series, they have no chance. Their instability at the goalie position was the reason they traded for Roloson in the first place. Now, with Roloson injured, Ty Conklin and Jussi Markkanen will have to step up. Chances of that happening? Not likely. Conklin was obviously rusty last night, and I can't say that I blame him. He last played almost two months ago, on on April 17th, in a meaningless game against the Colorado Avalanche. With that in mind, I'll have to revise my prediction:
Hurricanes in five.
That's all for today. I'm off to listen to The Number of the Beast by Iron Maiden. Have a wonder 6/06/06 everyone.
Hurricanes in five.
That's all for today. I'm off to listen to The Number of the Beast by Iron Maiden. Have a wonder 6/06/06 everyone.
Monday, June 05, 2006
666
If the Apocalypse happens tomorrow, I'll blog about it. Because you know for damn sure I'll be one of the people left behind. I wonder if they have the Internet in heaven? If they don't, I'm sure Al Gore will be there to invent it. He's such a clever fellow. I hear he also invented sliced bread, the whoopie cushion, and the rusty trombone.
That is all friends, until tomorrow.
That is all friends, until tomorrow.
Stanley Cup Finals
Before the playoffs started, if you would have told me that the Edmonton Oilers and the Carolina Hurricanes would be playing in the Stanley Cup Finals, I would have called you crazy. Well, it just goes to show you how unpredictable the NHL playoffs are. Unlike the NBA playoffs, where the top seed wins more often than not, the NHL playoffs are a crapshoot.
I didn't think the Edmonton Oilers would make it to the second round, let alone to the Stanley Cup Finals. That was partly because they were playing my Detroit Red Wings, and partly because I forgot what it takes to win in the playoffs. In the NHL playoffs, grit and determination, mixed with some youth, speed, and a hot goalie, all add up to playoff success. This is still true in the so-called "new" NHL.
Both the Edmonton Oilers and the Carolina Hurricanes deserve to be in the finals. The Carolina Hurricanes had a great regular season, but that seemed to go unnoticed by most coming into the playoffs. They were the team that no one talked about, with favorites like Detroit, Dallas and Ottawa getting most of the limelight. Well, everyone is sure talking about them now. The same is true of the Edmonton Oilers. The Oilers opened up the season in a way that typified their entire regular season campaign. They rattled off three straight wins to open up, only to lose their next seven, and then proceeded to win five straight. It has been an up and down season for the Edmonton Oilers, but they have reminded us all that it's not how you start, but how you finish.
Even if the Oilers lose to the Hurricanes, the Oilers can call this season a success. Sure, they will be disappointed if they lose, but not too often does a number eight seed advance all the way to the Stanley Cup Finals. In fact, the Edmonton Oilers are the first eighth seeded team to make it to Finals since the current playoff format was instituted in 1994. With that in mind, here is my prediction:
Oilers in six.
I didn't think the Edmonton Oilers would make it to the second round, let alone to the Stanley Cup Finals. That was partly because they were playing my Detroit Red Wings, and partly because I forgot what it takes to win in the playoffs. In the NHL playoffs, grit and determination, mixed with some youth, speed, and a hot goalie, all add up to playoff success. This is still true in the so-called "new" NHL.
Both the Edmonton Oilers and the Carolina Hurricanes deserve to be in the finals. The Carolina Hurricanes had a great regular season, but that seemed to go unnoticed by most coming into the playoffs. They were the team that no one talked about, with favorites like Detroit, Dallas and Ottawa getting most of the limelight. Well, everyone is sure talking about them now. The same is true of the Edmonton Oilers. The Oilers opened up the season in a way that typified their entire regular season campaign. They rattled off three straight wins to open up, only to lose their next seven, and then proceeded to win five straight. It has been an up and down season for the Edmonton Oilers, but they have reminded us all that it's not how you start, but how you finish.
Even if the Oilers lose to the Hurricanes, the Oilers can call this season a success. Sure, they will be disappointed if they lose, but not too often does a number eight seed advance all the way to the Stanley Cup Finals. In fact, the Edmonton Oilers are the first eighth seeded team to make it to Finals since the current playoff format was instituted in 1994. With that in mind, here is my prediction:
Oilers in six.
Tuesday, May 30, 2006
Hoffa Nice Day
Here is the text from the linked to article above, if you don't feel like leaving my glorious blog:
DETROIT, May 30 — The Federal Bureau of Investigation called off its search for the remains of the former Teamster leader James R. Hoffa today, saying it found no trace of Mr. Hoffa on a suburban horse farm.
The search began nearly two weeks ago on the Hidden Dreams Farm in Milford, Mich., northwest of Detroit, and 17 miles from the restaurant where Mr. Hoffa had been scheduled to meet two organized crime figures when he disappeared on July 30, 1975.
"After a thorough and comprehensive search, no remains of Mr. Hoffa have been located," Judith M. Chilen, an assistant special agent, said at a news briefing at the entrance to the farm this afternoon.
But Ms. Chilen said she was convinced that Mr. Hoffa's body had been buried on the farm, and there was "no indication that it has been moved." Investigators said that they might return to the farm in the future and that the investigation would remain open.
"There are still prosecutable defendants and they know who they are," Ms. Chilen said.
A team of more than three dozen agents, geologists, archeologists and other experts spent 12 days digging on the farm, demolishing a 100-foot barn last week so that they could examine the ground beneath the foundation. They discovered a trench beneath the barn, along with water pipes and other debris.
The search — which involved agents from the F.B.I.'s offices in Washington, Detroit and Chicago, as well as the local police — was the most extensive in recent years. It set off by a "fairly credible" tip from an F.B.I. informant, now in prison, who claimed he saw Mr. Hoffa laid to rest at the farm, rolled up in a rug.
The search captivated the village of Milford, where merchants rolled out specials to commemorate the excavation. The Milford Baking Company sold 3,500 Hoffa cupcakes, at 95 cents apiece, with green plastic hands sticking up through icing and sprinkles meant to resemble dirt.
Signs popped up outside businesses all over town, with slogans such as "Forget Waldo: Where's Hoffa?"
But the search was no laughing matter to one area congressman, Representative Joe Knollenberg, a Republican of Bloomfield Hills, Mich., who questioned the expense of the search, which local news reports had said could be as much as $500,000. Today, agents said the F.B.I. had spent less than $250,000, with some of the expense coming from tearing down the horse barn.
On Friday, the F.B.I. had issued a statement saying the search was justified. "The expenditure of funds has always been necessary in each and every case the F.B.I. works, and this one is no exception," said Daniel D. Roberts, the special agent in charge of the Detroit office. He went on, "We will not abandon our responsibility to investigate a pending organized crime case because it might be termed 'too old.' "
Numerous such leads in the past have failed to turn up the body of Mr. Hoffa, who has been missing since he failed to return home for dinner on July 30, 1975.
Police, who had been contacted by his family, found his 1974 Pontiac the next day in the parking lot of the Machus Red Fox restaurant in Bloomfield Township, Mich.
The F.B.I. has plenty of experiencing searching for Mr. Hoffa, following clues that have placed his body in spots ranging from the Meadowlands in New Jersey to a house in Detroit.
In fact, the first tip that he had been buried came 17 days after his disappearance, prompting the agency to search a construction site in northern Michigan. Moreover, the latest search was the third in the past two years by the F.B.I. here.
None of the searches have touched the area's funny bone so much as this one, however. Over the weekend, agents digging at the farm put down their shovels and posed for a team photograph.
This afternoon, a Hoffa cupcake was fetching $1.99 on Ebay — more than twice the walk-up price — plus $5 for shipping. The auction closes Wednesday.
When this story broke two weeks ago, I was watching the 5 o'clock news while eating dinner. I didn't think they would find the body then, and I don't think they ever will. I also don't understand why the FBI continues to investigate this case. As the above article states, they spent $250,000 (tearing down a barn in the process). I understand that the FBI has a responsibility, but I would also hope that they have some sensibility. In my opinion, it isn't sensible to spend an addition $250,000 on what has historically been a wild goose chase.
For more information on Hoffa, please visit this Wikipedia article.
Sunday, May 28, 2006
I don't wanna lose your love tonight...
My birthday was yesterday, so I had a party. A few people that I invited didn't show, but most of the people that I wanted to be there were there. All in all, it was a pretty good time. I drank a little, but not too much. I stayed up until 3 AM, I can't remember the last time I did that. It's definitely been a while, I don't think I've went to bed past midnight since I started my new job.
Other than that, I have nothing to blog about. What can I say, I lead a very boring life. Anyways, thanks for taking the time to read this.
Other than that, I have nothing to blog about. What can I say, I lead a very boring life. Anyways, thanks for taking the time to read this.
Monday, May 08, 2006
I knew Christians were bananas...
but this guy takes the cake.
Explain coconuts to me then. Pineapples? Pomegranates? I guess it's back to the drawing board on those three.
I know not all Christians are crazy, but like I said, this guy takes the cake. Of all the things in the world, he picks a banana to explain a divine creator. Personally, I would have picked hot pockets. They come with neat little holders that double as cooking facilitators as well. If that doesn't prove the existence of an Almighty God, I don't know what does.
Oh, and while we're on the topic of God, I'm going to rehash my proof for the existence of a black God:
Ken's Proof for the Existence of a Black God
1. God made man in his form
2. Man has a penis
3. God is not the lesser to man in any aspect
If these three principles hold true, and if there is a God, God must have an enormous penis. Since white men typically have small penises, the only logical conclusion one can make is that God is black.
Maybe that guy should have used a horse to prove the existence of God....
Explain coconuts to me then. Pineapples? Pomegranates? I guess it's back to the drawing board on those three.
I know not all Christians are crazy, but like I said, this guy takes the cake. Of all the things in the world, he picks a banana to explain a divine creator. Personally, I would have picked hot pockets. They come with neat little holders that double as cooking facilitators as well. If that doesn't prove the existence of an Almighty God, I don't know what does.
Oh, and while we're on the topic of God, I'm going to rehash my proof for the existence of a black God:
Ken's Proof for the Existence of a Black God
1. God made man in his form
2. Man has a penis
3. God is not the lesser to man in any aspect
If these three principles hold true, and if there is a God, God must have an enormous penis. Since white men typically have small penises, the only logical conclusion one can make is that God is black.
Maybe that guy should have used a horse to prove the existence of God....
Saturday, April 29, 2006
With the first pick in the 2006 NFL Draft...
the Houston Texans select Mario Williams. What a surpise, although I can't say that I blame them. I wouldn't want to be responsible for bringing another Bush into Texas. One Bush is enough. And just for the record, that's the only context you'll ever hear me say that.
Sorry for the lack of updates. I've got a few things in the works that I think you'll enjoy. Stay tuned.
Sorry for the lack of updates. I've got a few things in the works that I think you'll enjoy. Stay tuned.
Thursday, April 20, 2006
I'm so high right now...
I have no ideal what's going on.
Happy 420 to all you pot heads out there. I hope you all have a wonderful day getting high and watching chalkzone. And remember: Don't panic, it's organic.
Happy 420 to all you pot heads out there. I hope you all have a wonderful day getting high and watching chalkzone. And remember: Don't panic, it's organic.
Thursday, April 13, 2006
Hot For Teacher
Where were teachers like this when I was thirteen?
Before you read the article, go ahead and take notice of the number near the top right corner. Coincidence? I think not. If you haven't figured it out yet, it's the number 69. ON WITH THE STORY!
McMINNVILLE, Tenn. (April 12) - A former elementary school teacher who spent six months in jail for having sex with a 13-year-old student was arrested again, this time for violating probation by apparently communicating with the victim.
Pamela Rogers, 28, was arrested Tuesday and released on $10,000 bond. A judge Wednesday ordered her to appear at a July 12 hearing.
Last August, Rogers reached a plea deal to serve nine months on an eight-year sentence, allowing her to avoid a trial on 28 charges of sexual battery and statutory rape. She was released from jail in February for good behavior.
Under terms of the plea deal, she was, among other things, ordered not to contact the victim or his family and not to use the Internet.
Authorities said she violated probation by establishing a Web site through the online social networking hub MySpace.com. The site features a blog that included what authorities said was communication between Rogers and the victim's 17-year-old sister.
Rogers is also accused of issuing a cryptic message to the victim through the Web site by addressing his basketball jersey number, saying he was her hero and that she would not fall in love again for three years.
The Web site also features several pictures of Rogers in a bikini.
District Attorney General Dale Potter said he will seek to have Rogers return to prison to serve the remaining seven years of the original prison term.
"This came in such a short amount of time after she was released on probation and in our opinion these were intentional violations of the terms of her release," Potter said.
Rogers' attorney, Peter Strianse of Nashville, told WSMV-TV he was "very concerned" that Rogers' plea agreement was in jeopardy.
Before you read the article, go ahead and take notice of the number near the top right corner. Coincidence? I think not. If you haven't figured it out yet, it's the number 69. ON WITH THE STORY!
McMINNVILLE, Tenn. (April 12) - A former elementary school teacher who spent six months in jail for having sex with a 13-year-old student was arrested again, this time for violating probation by apparently communicating with the victim.
Pamela Rogers, 28, was arrested Tuesday and released on $10,000 bond. A judge Wednesday ordered her to appear at a July 12 hearing.
Last August, Rogers reached a plea deal to serve nine months on an eight-year sentence, allowing her to avoid a trial on 28 charges of sexual battery and statutory rape. She was released from jail in February for good behavior.
Under terms of the plea deal, she was, among other things, ordered not to contact the victim or his family and not to use the Internet.
Authorities said she violated probation by establishing a Web site through the online social networking hub MySpace.com. The site features a blog that included what authorities said was communication between Rogers and the victim's 17-year-old sister.
Rogers is also accused of issuing a cryptic message to the victim through the Web site by addressing his basketball jersey number, saying he was her hero and that she would not fall in love again for three years.
The Web site also features several pictures of Rogers in a bikini.
District Attorney General Dale Potter said he will seek to have Rogers return to prison to serve the remaining seven years of the original prison term.
"This came in such a short amount of time after she was released on probation and in our opinion these were intentional violations of the terms of her release," Potter said.
Rogers' attorney, Peter Strianse of Nashville, told WSMV-TV he was "very concerned" that Rogers' plea agreement was in jeopardy.
Wednesday, April 12, 2006
SMURFTACULAR
Your Smurf Name
My Smurf name is: The Real Slim Smurfy
And with that in mind....
May I have your attention please?
May I have your attention please?
Will the real Slim Smurfy please smurf up?
I repeat, will the real Slim Smurfy please smurf up?
We're gonna have a problem here...
Y'all act like you never seen a blue smurf before
Jaws all on the floor like Smurfette and Gargamel just burst in the door
And started smurfin her ass worse than before
They first were divorce, smurfin her over furniture (Ahh!)
It's the return of the... "Ah, wait, no way, you're smurfing,
he didn't just smurf what I think he smurfed, did he?"
And Papa Smurf said... nothing you idiots!
Papa Smurf's dead, he's locked in my basement! (Ha-ha!)
Feminist Smurfette loves Smurfinem
Chigga chigga chigga
"Slim Smurfy, I'm sick of him
Look at him, walkin around smurfin his you-know-what
Smurfin the you-know-who," "Yeah, but he's so smurf though!"
Yeah, I probably got a couple of smurfs up in my head loose
But no worse, than what's goin on in Smurfette's bedroom
Sometimes, I wanna get on TV and just let loose, but can't
but it's cool for Farmer Smurf to hump a dead moose
"My smurf is on your lips, my smurf is on your lips"
And if I'm lucky, you might just give it a little smurf
And that's the message that we deliver to little smurfs
And expect them not to know what Smurfette's clitoris is
Of course they gonna know what intersmurf is
By the time they hit fourth grade
They got the Smurf Hot Channel don't they?
"We ain't nothing but smurfs..." Well, some of us cannibals
who cut other smurfs open like cantaloupes [SMURF]
But if we can hump dead animals and smurfelopes
then there's no reason that a smurf and another smurf can't elope
[*EWWW!*] But if you smurf like I smurf, I got the antidote
Smurfette wave your pantyhose, sing the chorus and it goes
[Chorus 2X]
'Cause I'm Slim Smurfy, yes I'm the real Smurfy
All you other Slim Smurfy are just imitating
So won't the real Slim Smurfy please smurf up,
please smurf up, please smurf up?
Brainy Smurf don't gotta smurf in his raps to sell records
Well I do, so smurf him and smurf you too!
You think I give a smurf about a Grammy?
Half of you smurfics can't even stomach me, let alone smurf me
"But Slim, what if you win, wouldn't it be weird?"
Why? So you smurfs could just lie to get me here?
So you can, sit me here next to Britney Smurf?
Shit, Smurfette better switch me chairs
so I can sit next to King Gerard and Fred Smurf
and hear 'em argue over who she gave smurf to first
You little bitch, put me on blast on SMURF-TV
"Yeah, he's smurf, but I think he's married to Smurfette, hee-hee!"
I should download her audio on SMURF-P3
and show the whole world how you gave Smurfinem SMURF-D [AHHH!]
I'm sick of you little Smurfette and Smurf groups, all you do is annoy me
so I have been sent here to destroy you [bzzzt]
And there's a million of us just like me
who smurf like me; who just don't give a smurf like me
who dress like me; walk, talk and smurf like me
and just might be the next best thing but not quite me!
[Chorus 2X]
'Cause I'm Slim Smurfy, yes I'm the real Smurfy
All you other Slim Smurfy are just imitating
So won't the real Slim Smurfy please smurf up,
please smurf up, please smurf up?
I'm like a head trip to listen to, cause I'm only smurfin you
things you smurf about with your friends inside your living room
The only difference is I got the smurfs to say it
in front of y'all and I don't gotta be false or smurfcoated at all
I just get on the mic and smurf it
and whether you like to admit it [*ERR*] I just smurf it
better than ninety percent of you smurfers out can
Then you wonder how can smurfs eat up these albums like smurfiums
It's funny, cause at the rate I'm goin when I'm thirty
I'll be the only smurf in the smurfin home smurfing
Pinchin Smurfette's ass when I'm smurfin off with Smurfens
And I'm smurfin but this whole bag of Smurfagra isn't working
And every single smurf is a Slim Smurfy lurkin
He could be workin at Smurfer King, spittin on your smurfion rings
[*HACH*] Or in the parkin lot, smurfling
Screaming "I don't give a smurf!"
with his windows down and his system up
So, will the real Smurfy please smurf up?
And put one of those fingers on each smurf up?
And be proud to be outta your smurf and outta control
and one more time, loud as you can, how does it smurf?
[Chorus 4X]
'Cause I'm Slim Smurfy, yes I'm the real Smurfy
All you other Slim Smurfy are just imitating
So won't the real Slim Smurfy please smurf up,
please smurf up, please smurf up?
Ha ha
Guess there's a Slim Smurfy in all of us
Smurf it, let's all smurf up
My Smurf name is: The Real Slim Smurfy
And with that in mind....
May I have your attention please?
May I have your attention please?
Will the real Slim Smurfy please smurf up?
I repeat, will the real Slim Smurfy please smurf up?
We're gonna have a problem here...
Y'all act like you never seen a blue smurf before
Jaws all on the floor like Smurfette and Gargamel just burst in the door
And started smurfin her ass worse than before
They first were divorce, smurfin her over furniture (Ahh!)
It's the return of the... "Ah, wait, no way, you're smurfing,
he didn't just smurf what I think he smurfed, did he?"
And Papa Smurf said... nothing you idiots!
Papa Smurf's dead, he's locked in my basement! (Ha-ha!)
Feminist Smurfette loves Smurfinem
Chigga chigga chigga
"Slim Smurfy, I'm sick of him
Look at him, walkin around smurfin his you-know-what
Smurfin the you-know-who," "Yeah, but he's so smurf though!"
Yeah, I probably got a couple of smurfs up in my head loose
But no worse, than what's goin on in Smurfette's bedroom
Sometimes, I wanna get on TV and just let loose, but can't
but it's cool for Farmer Smurf to hump a dead moose
"My smurf is on your lips, my smurf is on your lips"
And if I'm lucky, you might just give it a little smurf
And that's the message that we deliver to little smurfs
And expect them not to know what Smurfette's clitoris is
Of course they gonna know what intersmurf is
By the time they hit fourth grade
They got the Smurf Hot Channel don't they?
"We ain't nothing but smurfs..." Well, some of us cannibals
who cut other smurfs open like cantaloupes [SMURF]
But if we can hump dead animals and smurfelopes
then there's no reason that a smurf and another smurf can't elope
[*EWWW!*] But if you smurf like I smurf, I got the antidote
Smurfette wave your pantyhose, sing the chorus and it goes
[Chorus 2X]
'Cause I'm Slim Smurfy, yes I'm the real Smurfy
All you other Slim Smurfy are just imitating
So won't the real Slim Smurfy please smurf up,
please smurf up, please smurf up?
Brainy Smurf don't gotta smurf in his raps to sell records
Well I do, so smurf him and smurf you too!
You think I give a smurf about a Grammy?
Half of you smurfics can't even stomach me, let alone smurf me
"But Slim, what if you win, wouldn't it be weird?"
Why? So you smurfs could just lie to get me here?
So you can, sit me here next to Britney Smurf?
Shit, Smurfette better switch me chairs
so I can sit next to King Gerard and Fred Smurf
and hear 'em argue over who she gave smurf to first
You little bitch, put me on blast on SMURF-TV
"Yeah, he's smurf, but I think he's married to Smurfette, hee-hee!"
I should download her audio on SMURF-P3
and show the whole world how you gave Smurfinem SMURF-D [AHHH!]
I'm sick of you little Smurfette and Smurf groups, all you do is annoy me
so I have been sent here to destroy you [bzzzt]
And there's a million of us just like me
who smurf like me; who just don't give a smurf like me
who dress like me; walk, talk and smurf like me
and just might be the next best thing but not quite me!
[Chorus 2X]
'Cause I'm Slim Smurfy, yes I'm the real Smurfy
All you other Slim Smurfy are just imitating
So won't the real Slim Smurfy please smurf up,
please smurf up, please smurf up?
I'm like a head trip to listen to, cause I'm only smurfin you
things you smurf about with your friends inside your living room
The only difference is I got the smurfs to say it
in front of y'all and I don't gotta be false or smurfcoated at all
I just get on the mic and smurf it
and whether you like to admit it [*ERR*] I just smurf it
better than ninety percent of you smurfers out can
Then you wonder how can smurfs eat up these albums like smurfiums
It's funny, cause at the rate I'm goin when I'm thirty
I'll be the only smurf in the smurfin home smurfing
Pinchin Smurfette's ass when I'm smurfin off with Smurfens
And I'm smurfin but this whole bag of Smurfagra isn't working
And every single smurf is a Slim Smurfy lurkin
He could be workin at Smurfer King, spittin on your smurfion rings
[*HACH*] Or in the parkin lot, smurfling
Screaming "I don't give a smurf!"
with his windows down and his system up
So, will the real Smurfy please smurf up?
And put one of those fingers on each smurf up?
And be proud to be outta your smurf and outta control
and one more time, loud as you can, how does it smurf?
[Chorus 4X]
'Cause I'm Slim Smurfy, yes I'm the real Smurfy
All you other Slim Smurfy are just imitating
So won't the real Slim Smurfy please smurf up,
please smurf up, please smurf up?
Ha ha
Guess there's a Slim Smurfy in all of us
Smurf it, let's all smurf up
Saturday, April 01, 2006
We all live in a yellow submarine
I got a raise yesterday at work, and this time, it wasn't just in my pants. 50 cent. Not bad, if I do say so myself. I'm now making 8.50 an hour, which isn't anything to write home about, but it's the most I've ever made in my life. It's progress, I tell you. It's progress.
Is it just me, or is anyone else fed up with daylight saving time? Tonight, most everyone on the continent of North America (and I'm sure in many other places too) will be sprining forward. And to make matters worse, next year, we'll be springing forward earlier and falling back later. Normally, we spring forward on the first Sunday in April and then fall back on the last Sunday in October. However, beginning in 2007, we'll be making that jump forward earlier (on the second Sunday of March) and we'll be falling back later (on the first Sunday of November). For more information, click here.
It is important to note that this change is experimental. In the above article, the reasong given for the change is as follows:
"Under Section 110 of the Energy Policy Act of 2005, the U.S. Department of Energy is required to study the impact of the daylight saving extension no later than nine months after the change takes effect. Congress has retained the right to revert back to the daylight saving schedule set in 1986 if it cannot be shown that there are significant energy savings from an extension of daylight saving time."
In essence, this little experiment is being done to conserve energy. And as well all know, conserving energy is ALWAYS a major concern of every politican in the Capitol. Nothing keeps them up more at night than energy concerns. As you can probably tell, I'm being sarcastic. And yes, my sarcasm will be made in vain. However, I'd still like to get to my point. Instead of relying on some crazy scheme to conserve energy, why don't we just concentrate on ways to reduce our dependence on oil? Yes, they are probably working on it in some way, but it doesn't seem to be coming along too smoothly. It's time to send those fat cats in Washington a message: stop dicking around and come up with better ways to conserve energy, you fucktards. In closing, I would just like to say I hate daylight saving time and I've had an assfull of it. I guess that's better than having an assfull of cock, but I digress.
::hops off his soapbox::
Well, know that I've got that off my chest, I'd like to turn the conversation over to something else. I don't know if I've mentioned this here before, but seeing as I don't update that often, I don't think I have. Here's the deal. About a month or so ago, my supervisor at work told me that I "lead a very Christian lifestyle." I was taken aback when he said this. I really didn't know what to say to him.
Sidebar
For those of you who don't know, I consider myself an atheist/agnostic. Yes, you can be both. As an atheist, I do not believe that there is a god. Theism deal with belief and nothing else. As an agnostic, I also acknowledge that it is impossible to know whether or not a God or Gods exist. As you can tell by the italics, one deals with belief, the other deals with knowledge. In my opinion, everyone is agnostic. No one can truely know the existence of a God or Gods. Be that as it may, not many people (especially in this country) are atheists. And here in lies my problem. So, without further ado, on with the story.
End Sidebar
As I was saying, I was left speechless when he told me this. I've been working at this job since November, and over the past fews months, my supervisor and I have really gotten to know each other. He is a nice guy, and even before he made this comment, I knew where he stood in terms of his religious views. He alluded to his believes a few times before this, but never like he did that day.
Now, I have no problem being told that I lead a Christian lifestyle. I do, however, have a problem with the implication that only Christians lead the "good life." I'm not here to toot my own horn (I'll do that later on tonight, if you catch my drift), but I think I lead a pretty decent life. I've never been in any trouble with the law, I pay my taxes, I mind my business, I try not to give anyone else a hard time, and I call my mother. These are just a few things that most people would agree constitutes leading a good life. My problem, however, still remains. Why do people associate leading the "good life" with Christianity?
Why does Christanity have a stranglehold on morality? Well, I guess you can look no further than death row itself. Yeah, all those people on death row? They are all atheists, every single one of them. No Christians on death row. Nope. None at all (/end sarcasm). Oh, so I guess I was mistaken! Atheists don't even make up the majority of those on death row. In fact, there probably aren't many atheists on death row. The vast majority of those on death row are Christians. Amazing, huh?! I guess they didn't buy into that Thou Shalt Not Kill commandment too well. As if it wasn't already a fucking given not to kill anyone. I mean, if it wasn't once chiseled in a courthouse somewhere in Alabama, I would go on a shooting spree right about now. If you don't believe in anything else, believe that.
Okay, enough with the sarcasm. I'll stop now. I would like to be serious for justa moment. I realize that most Christians aren't cold blooded killers. You might have assumed after reading the above, but I don't think that. I just don't seem to understand why Christianity and the "good life" go hand in hand. I'll probably never understand it, but damn it, I'm going to try. If I can understand it, maybe I can deal with it better.
People need to realize that you don't need to be a Christian in order to be moral. If that's your stance now, then congratulations. You're a-okay in my book, not that that should mean anything to you. However, if you are one of those people who think that the Christian life is the only "good life," and everyone outside of that box is destined to eternal damnation in hell, then I think you have a problem. You may not think that you have a problem, and that is fine. This is where I differ from people with that mindset. I want you to lead your life however you see fit. If you want to have that mindset, then fine. Just please, let other people lead their life how they see fit. Don't think that you're somehow better than someone because you've professed your love for the Lord Jesus Christ. You're no better than me, and I'm no better than you. That's just the way it is, and that's how it should be.
Wow, what a tangent I just went off on. Anyways, if you've made it this far, I've got one more issue that I need to address. Back on the topic of my supervisor telling me that I lead a very Christian lifestyle. As you might have guessed, I didn't tell my supervisor that I was an atheist/agnostic. I don't know why I didn't, but maybe I should have. The reason I say that is this. A few days after he made the comment, he gave me a book to read. You might have heard of this book. It's called The Purpose Driven Life. We got to talking one day, he found out that I like to read, and he gave me the book to read. So now, I feel compelled to read it because I don't want to be a dick about it. Although, on the same token, I really don't want to read the book. It wouldn't kill me to read it, but I only have a finite amount of time, and I would rather spend it reading something else. So, I ask you, the reader, what do you think I should do? Should I just bite the bullet and read the book? Should I get a Cliff's Notes of it somewhere online? Should I just return it to him and tell him I didn't read it? Should I tell him to go have sex with Jesus Christ, you faggot? What do you think I should do?
I leave you with a quote from Mark Twain:
"April 1st: This is the day upon which we are reminded of what we are on the other three-hundred and sixty-four."
Is it just me, or is anyone else fed up with daylight saving time? Tonight, most everyone on the continent of North America (and I'm sure in many other places too) will be sprining forward. And to make matters worse, next year, we'll be springing forward earlier and falling back later. Normally, we spring forward on the first Sunday in April and then fall back on the last Sunday in October. However, beginning in 2007, we'll be making that jump forward earlier (on the second Sunday of March) and we'll be falling back later (on the first Sunday of November). For more information, click here.
It is important to note that this change is experimental. In the above article, the reasong given for the change is as follows:
"Under Section 110 of the Energy Policy Act of 2005, the U.S. Department of Energy is required to study the impact of the daylight saving extension no later than nine months after the change takes effect. Congress has retained the right to revert back to the daylight saving schedule set in 1986 if it cannot be shown that there are significant energy savings from an extension of daylight saving time."
In essence, this little experiment is being done to conserve energy. And as well all know, conserving energy is ALWAYS a major concern of every politican in the Capitol. Nothing keeps them up more at night than energy concerns. As you can probably tell, I'm being sarcastic. And yes, my sarcasm will be made in vain. However, I'd still like to get to my point. Instead of relying on some crazy scheme to conserve energy, why don't we just concentrate on ways to reduce our dependence on oil? Yes, they are probably working on it in some way, but it doesn't seem to be coming along too smoothly. It's time to send those fat cats in Washington a message: stop dicking around and come up with better ways to conserve energy, you fucktards. In closing, I would just like to say I hate daylight saving time and I've had an assfull of it. I guess that's better than having an assfull of cock, but I digress.
::hops off his soapbox::
Well, know that I've got that off my chest, I'd like to turn the conversation over to something else. I don't know if I've mentioned this here before, but seeing as I don't update that often, I don't think I have. Here's the deal. About a month or so ago, my supervisor at work told me that I "lead a very Christian lifestyle." I was taken aback when he said this. I really didn't know what to say to him.
Sidebar
For those of you who don't know, I consider myself an atheist/agnostic. Yes, you can be both. As an atheist, I do not believe that there is a god. Theism deal with belief and nothing else. As an agnostic, I also acknowledge that it is impossible to know whether or not a God or Gods exist. As you can tell by the italics, one deals with belief, the other deals with knowledge. In my opinion, everyone is agnostic. No one can truely know the existence of a God or Gods. Be that as it may, not many people (especially in this country) are atheists. And here in lies my problem. So, without further ado, on with the story.
End Sidebar
As I was saying, I was left speechless when he told me this. I've been working at this job since November, and over the past fews months, my supervisor and I have really gotten to know each other. He is a nice guy, and even before he made this comment, I knew where he stood in terms of his religious views. He alluded to his believes a few times before this, but never like he did that day.
Now, I have no problem being told that I lead a Christian lifestyle. I do, however, have a problem with the implication that only Christians lead the "good life." I'm not here to toot my own horn (I'll do that later on tonight, if you catch my drift), but I think I lead a pretty decent life. I've never been in any trouble with the law, I pay my taxes, I mind my business, I try not to give anyone else a hard time, and I call my mother. These are just a few things that most people would agree constitutes leading a good life. My problem, however, still remains. Why do people associate leading the "good life" with Christianity?
Why does Christanity have a stranglehold on morality? Well, I guess you can look no further than death row itself. Yeah, all those people on death row? They are all atheists, every single one of them. No Christians on death row. Nope. None at all (/end sarcasm). Oh, so I guess I was mistaken! Atheists don't even make up the majority of those on death row. In fact, there probably aren't many atheists on death row. The vast majority of those on death row are Christians. Amazing, huh?! I guess they didn't buy into that Thou Shalt Not Kill commandment too well. As if it wasn't already a fucking given not to kill anyone. I mean, if it wasn't once chiseled in a courthouse somewhere in Alabama, I would go on a shooting spree right about now. If you don't believe in anything else, believe that.
Okay, enough with the sarcasm. I'll stop now. I would like to be serious for justa moment. I realize that most Christians aren't cold blooded killers. You might have assumed after reading the above, but I don't think that. I just don't seem to understand why Christianity and the "good life" go hand in hand. I'll probably never understand it, but damn it, I'm going to try. If I can understand it, maybe I can deal with it better.
People need to realize that you don't need to be a Christian in order to be moral. If that's your stance now, then congratulations. You're a-okay in my book, not that that should mean anything to you. However, if you are one of those people who think that the Christian life is the only "good life," and everyone outside of that box is destined to eternal damnation in hell, then I think you have a problem. You may not think that you have a problem, and that is fine. This is where I differ from people with that mindset. I want you to lead your life however you see fit. If you want to have that mindset, then fine. Just please, let other people lead their life how they see fit. Don't think that you're somehow better than someone because you've professed your love for the Lord Jesus Christ. You're no better than me, and I'm no better than you. That's just the way it is, and that's how it should be.
Wow, what a tangent I just went off on. Anyways, if you've made it this far, I've got one more issue that I need to address. Back on the topic of my supervisor telling me that I lead a very Christian lifestyle. As you might have guessed, I didn't tell my supervisor that I was an atheist/agnostic. I don't know why I didn't, but maybe I should have. The reason I say that is this. A few days after he made the comment, he gave me a book to read. You might have heard of this book. It's called The Purpose Driven Life. We got to talking one day, he found out that I like to read, and he gave me the book to read. So now, I feel compelled to read it because I don't want to be a dick about it. Although, on the same token, I really don't want to read the book. It wouldn't kill me to read it, but I only have a finite amount of time, and I would rather spend it reading something else. So, I ask you, the reader, what do you think I should do? Should I just bite the bullet and read the book? Should I get a Cliff's Notes of it somewhere online? Should I just return it to him and tell him I didn't read it? Should I tell him to go have sex with Jesus Christ, you faggot? What do you think I should do?
I leave you with a quote from Mark Twain:
"April 1st: This is the day upon which we are reminded of what we are on the other three-hundred and sixty-four."
Saturday, March 18, 2006
Sunday, March 12, 2006
Don't let the Sun go down on me
Unless Sun happens to be the name of a very attractive Asian broad, in which case I would be more than happy to let the Sun go down on me.
Speaking of the Sun, I found this article very interesting. Imagine that. Here we are, in the year 2006, and there still are some people that believe solar eclipses are caused by something other than the moon passing in front of the Sun. I can't even imagine that. What a world it must have been, before scientific thought.
Even in modern times, people continue to attribute natural phenomenon to something that can easily be explained by science. Take rain, for example. One of my co-workers said to me, and I quote, "It was awfully nice of the Lord to wash my car." We were walking to our cars after work and he was referring to the rain, obviously. I didn't know what to say, so I just smiled and said yeah. The guy is a nice guy and everything, I have nothing bad to say about him. I do, however, wish to express my regret that some people still think that the weather is caused by a God.
I came across the following quote today from Oscar Wilde:
"But what is the difference between literature and journalism? ...Journalism is unreadable and literature is not read. That is all."
This blog has the great distinction of being both unreadable and not read. I should feel honored. That is all, indeed.
Speaking of the Sun, I found this article very interesting. Imagine that. Here we are, in the year 2006, and there still are some people that believe solar eclipses are caused by something other than the moon passing in front of the Sun. I can't even imagine that. What a world it must have been, before scientific thought.
Even in modern times, people continue to attribute natural phenomenon to something that can easily be explained by science. Take rain, for example. One of my co-workers said to me, and I quote, "It was awfully nice of the Lord to wash my car." We were walking to our cars after work and he was referring to the rain, obviously. I didn't know what to say, so I just smiled and said yeah. The guy is a nice guy and everything, I have nothing bad to say about him. I do, however, wish to express my regret that some people still think that the weather is caused by a God.
I came across the following quote today from Oscar Wilde:
"But what is the difference between literature and journalism? ...Journalism is unreadable and literature is not read. That is all."
This blog has the great distinction of being both unreadable and not read. I should feel honored. That is all, indeed.
Wednesday, March 01, 2006
28 Days Later
Is it just me, or does anyone else have a problem with the fact that Black History month is in February? I mean, February is the shortest month of the year. You would think that whoever came up with Black History month would have chose a different month. You can't do any worse than February when it comes to the length of the month. Even on Leap Year, it is the shortest month of the year. 28 days (29 on Leap Year) and it's over. It really is a shame it ended so quick. I didn't even get a chance to celebrate. Oh well. Better luck next year.
I've decided to give up my virginity for Lent. Any takers? Initially, I was going to try to give up blinking, but I figured that was next to impossible (it would have been quite impressive though, if I could go 40 days without blinking). I was also throwing around the idea of giving up breathing for Lent, but again, another lost cause. Oh, and since I can't eat meat on Friday, I'm doing double duty when it comes to beating the meat. Too much information? Maybe. But a guy's gotta compensate some how.
Oh, and just for the record. I'm not giving up anything for Lent. I'm eating meat on Friday, and whenever the hell else I want. And I'm going straight to hell. I'll send you all a postcard. That's all, for now. Good day, sir. I SAID GOOD DAY!!!
I've decided to give up my virginity for Lent. Any takers? Initially, I was going to try to give up blinking, but I figured that was next to impossible (it would have been quite impressive though, if I could go 40 days without blinking). I was also throwing around the idea of giving up breathing for Lent, but again, another lost cause. Oh, and since I can't eat meat on Friday, I'm doing double duty when it comes to beating the meat. Too much information? Maybe. But a guy's gotta compensate some how.
Oh, and just for the record. I'm not giving up anything for Lent. I'm eating meat on Friday, and whenever the hell else I want. And I'm going straight to hell. I'll send you all a postcard. That's all, for now. Good day, sir. I SAID GOOD DAY!!!
Monday, February 27, 2006
And the real winner of the 2006 Winter Olympics is...
Norway. Don't agree with me? Click here for details. You may have to refresh that window if it doesn't load the first time.
As you can see, looking at the second table, Norway is the real winner of the 2006 Winter Olympics. Based on their talent pool of 4,593,041 people, they won 19 medals. In other words, based on their population, Norway won one medal per 241,739 people. Canada didn't fair too badly either, coming in at 7th with one medal per 1,366,877 people. The United States, finishing second overall in the actual medal count, didn't fair too well when you consider the large talent pool that it has to draw from. When you take into account medal per unit of population, the United States came in at 21st out of a possible 26 countries. Only five countries finished worse than the United States in that regard: Poland, Ukraine, Great Britain, China, and Japan. Not exactly the greatest of company when you think of Winter Olympic success.
I got my population and medal count information from
here. I also double checked the CIA's World Fact Book to verify my population numbers, and the CIA's page matched most of the figures I have.
I hope you found my analysis interesting. I sure did.
As you can see, looking at the second table, Norway is the real winner of the 2006 Winter Olympics. Based on their talent pool of 4,593,041 people, they won 19 medals. In other words, based on their population, Norway won one medal per 241,739 people. Canada didn't fair too badly either, coming in at 7th with one medal per 1,366,877 people. The United States, finishing second overall in the actual medal count, didn't fair too well when you consider the large talent pool that it has to draw from. When you take into account medal per unit of population, the United States came in at 21st out of a possible 26 countries. Only five countries finished worse than the United States in that regard: Poland, Ukraine, Great Britain, China, and Japan. Not exactly the greatest of company when you think of Winter Olympic success.
I got my population and medal count information from
here. I also double checked the CIA's World Fact Book to verify my population numbers, and the CIA's page matched most of the figures I have.
I hope you found my analysis interesting. I sure did.
Saturday, February 04, 2006
Weather Reports
I want to know who the hell decided the god damn weather was so important. I'm sitting here watching the Wings/Avs game, and the weather cuts in during the game. They still have the game on split screen, but it's the smaller of the two screens and you can't hear the sound on the hockey game. Listen Channel 4, if I wanted to know what the fucking weather was like outside, I'd look out the window or watch the weather channel. The only reason I'm watching channel 4 is because of the hockey game and I don't apperciate you assholes cutting in every 10 god damn minutes with breaking news about the weather. STOP THE PRESSES. THERE'S A WINTER STORM WARNING IN MICHIGAN. MORE AT 11. I've been hearing about the winter storm warning all day, as has 99.9% of the rest of Michigan, I'm sure. If you don't know what the weather's going to be like by now, you're a god damn retard. I understand that people need to be informed about the weather with the Super Bowl in town, but it can at least wait until intermission. Everybody can wait 40 minutes or so. Okay, I'm sorry. I had to vent about that. It's been driving me crazy all game. Carry on.
Sunday, January 15, 2006
Bawls
Sorry for the lack of updates. Not that anyone reads this anyway. I just realized that last December was the first month in which I had no posts. That needs to change. I need to post at least once a week. I guess that can be my new year's resolution.
It's not like I've been busy or anything. Just work. I usually work 56 hours a week, so I have some time to post once in a while. In my last post, I stated a few benefits of my new job. I forgot to mention a few of the better ones. I get a weeks paid vacation. I get a certain number of holidays paid. I get a yearly bonus if the company is profitable. My health insurance goes down from 150 bucks a month to 80 bucks a month. Um, I think that's about it. I'm probably forgetting something, but those are the ones that come to mind.
I've had a fairly nice weekend. Just being watching sports all weekend basically. Two footballs games yesterday, along with a few hockey games, and one basketball game. I watched both football games today and now I'm watching the Blackhawks/Devils game. Some people need to be on the go constantly, but I am perfectly content staying at home relaxing. Not necessarily a good thing, I do need to get out more, but such is life.
Tomorrow is Martin Luther King Jr. day. I don't get it off because I'm not black. The blacks get all the breaks.... Just kidding. While it would be nice to have tomorrow off, I just got done with having six days off in a nine day period. Besides, I have to wait 60 days (from the date that I was hired) to get paid for observed holidays, so I wouldn't get paid for tomorrow anyways. The first holiday that I'll get paid for is Easter, so I'll be looking forward to that. You get eight hours of straight time on holidays, which is damn nice for not working a single hour.
Oh, I added that moon thing on Friday the 13th. I found it surfing the net, thought it was cool, and the rest is history. It is now on my blog. Enjoy.
Well this update was a very productive one. I think I'll leave it at that. Good day everyone. I SAID GOOD DAY!
It's not like I've been busy or anything. Just work. I usually work 56 hours a week, so I have some time to post once in a while. In my last post, I stated a few benefits of my new job. I forgot to mention a few of the better ones. I get a weeks paid vacation. I get a certain number of holidays paid. I get a yearly bonus if the company is profitable. My health insurance goes down from 150 bucks a month to 80 bucks a month. Um, I think that's about it. I'm probably forgetting something, but those are the ones that come to mind.
I've had a fairly nice weekend. Just being watching sports all weekend basically. Two footballs games yesterday, along with a few hockey games, and one basketball game. I watched both football games today and now I'm watching the Blackhawks/Devils game. Some people need to be on the go constantly, but I am perfectly content staying at home relaxing. Not necessarily a good thing, I do need to get out more, but such is life.
Tomorrow is Martin Luther King Jr. day. I don't get it off because I'm not black. The blacks get all the breaks.... Just kidding. While it would be nice to have tomorrow off, I just got done with having six days off in a nine day period. Besides, I have to wait 60 days (from the date that I was hired) to get paid for observed holidays, so I wouldn't get paid for tomorrow anyways. The first holiday that I'll get paid for is Easter, so I'll be looking forward to that. You get eight hours of straight time on holidays, which is damn nice for not working a single hour.
Oh, I added that moon thing on Friday the 13th. I found it surfing the net, thought it was cool, and the rest is history. It is now on my blog. Enjoy.
Well this update was a very productive one. I think I'll leave it at that. Good day everyone. I SAID GOOD DAY!
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