Well, I have finally found the motivation to post again. I guess my Jeezway idea didn't go over too well, only one person commented. Oh well, you win some, you lose some. Anyways, I would like to make a grievance in this post. I'm calling out all you pussies with magnets that say "Support Our Troops" or "Good Bless America" on your car. Yeah, I'm talking to you! Specifically, I'm going to refer to the former magnet in this post (Support Our Troops).
Anyways, here is my problem with these people. I have no problem with people supporting our troops. I have no problem with people saying God bless America. I would just like to ask you one question though. Do you really think you're supporting our troops by having a magnet that says, "Support Our Troops," on your car? I mean, really, is that the best you can do to support your troops? I know, I'll buy a fucking magnet, put it on my car, and I'll look like a real American patriot. Fantastic....
I may be offending people by saying this, but frankly, I don't care. I'm tired of seeing these magnets of every single God damn car I'm behind. I'm tired of selling them to people at 7-11. Yes, the great institution of 7-11 sells these despicable magnets. Shocking! Anything for a buck, and then some. That statement pretty much sums up 7-11, in a nutshell. I would just like to say one thing to all you people with these magnets on your car. Get a fucking clue! Here is how you can REALLY support our troops:
USO
BFS
There you go. Those are just TWO ways that you can REALLY support our troops. Instead of driving around town, with your little magnet decal on the back of you car, you can actually SUPPORT OUR FUCKING TROOPS. Why don't you pull your head out of your ass and do something meaningful? Instead of driving 5 MPH under the speed limit in front of me, with your little magnet decal on the back of your car, you can actually SUPPORT OUR FUCKING TROOPS. You know what you could have done with that five bucks you wasted on that magnet? You could have donated to the above two sites!
Sometimes, I just can't understand people in this country. Everyone is as high as a kite, and they just don't think. I'm not claiming to be the most thoughtful or intelligent person, but I'm not going to buy a magnet, stick it on my car, and then pretend like I'm some great big patriot. If I was to do anything, I'd donate to those above two sites. In other words, I'd actually do something meaningful. Or, if I was really adamant about the war, which I'm not, I'd go sign myself up for the army.
If you support the war, and are in the prime age range for the service, go ahead and sign up. Instead of having a magnet decal on your car, you can go be one of our troops, and people will SUPPORT YOU. Don't get me wrong here, I'm not saying that people who support the war should join the service. I just want people to stop pretending like they're supporting our troops, when in reality, all they are doing is driving around with a "Support Our Troops" magnet on the back of their car. And like I said, if you are really adamant about the war, go ahead and sign up. I don't care if you're in college, don't use that as an excuse, go ahead and sign up. Don't let other people fight for your cause, if you really support the war effort, go ahead and join.
What does Support Our Troops really mean? Does it mean that we should support the war? If so, I don't support our troops. Does it mean that we should support the men and women fighting the war? If so, I do support our troops. Does it mean that we should all go out and buy "Support Our Troops" magnets? If so, I don't support our troops. Does it mean that we can't critize the military actions of our government? If so, I don't support our troops. I will critize the government until I'm blue in the face. Even if John Kerry had won, I would have been critizing him, and the rest of the government, if I thought they were doing something that I didn't agree with.
Basically, I'm just rambling on at this point, so I'll cut to the chase. I want people to put their money where their mouth is. Instead of spouting phrases like, "Support Our Troops," I want you to really think about what you're saying. Instead of putting a "Support Our Troops" magnet on the back of your car, I want you to realize that you're doing absolutely nothing by having it there. Well, besides pissing me off, of course. If that is your aim, you have succeeded, but if your aim was to support our troops, you have failed.
In closing, if you are one of the people I am speaking about in this post, please take the magnet off your car. Even if you don't, realize one thing. You are doing nothing to support our troops. Unless you have a family member in the service, you have no right to have that magnet on your car. It isn't okay, at least in my eyes, to put a "Support Our Troops" magnet on the back of your car, and then do nothing else to support our troops. And like I said, if you are of age to join the service, go ahead and do it. If you really support the war, go ahead and do it. I just hope that all those people with the "Support Our Troops" magnets are praying for you.
Well, that is enough of my ranting. Good night everyone.
Tuesday, November 30, 2004
Saturday, November 27, 2004
An Update on a Lack of Updates
Well, I looked at my profile just now and I noticed that my average posts per week is down to just one. That has got to change. I'd like it to be up to three, so maybe you'll see me posting more often. Who knows? I don't have much to talk about really, but I do have a one observation to make, which will provide a nice segue into one of my ideas.
Is it just me, or do a lot of seemingly great ideas come to you in the shower? I say seemingly because I am not sure if any of my ideas are really great ideas. Anyways, I was just wondering if anyone else noticed that. Actually, a lot of my ideas come to me when I'm in the bathroom. For example, my idea for a Christian convenience store, Jeezway. That idea came to me when I was going to the bathroom at my grandpa's funeral. I was obviously in the bathroom, I wasn't actually going to the bathroom at my grandpa's funeral. That would have been slightly awkward....
Anyways, on with the Jeezway idea. Okay, so I have told some of my friends this idea and most of them think that it is the best idea since the Jump to Conclusions Mat! I know what you're thinking to yourself now, "Self, what is Jeezway?" Well, let me answer your question. Jeezway is my idea for a Christian (or religious) based convenience store. It's not just a convenience store, it is also a funeral home and restaurant. So, it is basically a funeral home/convenience store/restaurant, all in one. It is such a great idea, I probably shouldn't be talking about it so openly on this blog. If anyone steals my idea, I will hunt you down and kill you!
Alright, on with the premise of my Jeezway idea. I'll start with the funeral home aspect. You know how when you're at a funeral home, and you're all like, damn, I need to go get something to eat. Well, this is where Jeezway comes in. Remember, Jeezway is a funeral home/convenience store/restaurant. So, that means that you can get a bite to eat at the restaurant, or you can get a snack at the convenience store. Sounds too good to be true? Of course it isn't!
It is important for me to reiterate this. Jeezway is a funeral home, with a restaurant and convenience store attached to it. But allow me to discuss the finer points of my idea. At Jeezway, we keep the dead bodies in the cooler of the convenience store. It is a cost savings maneuver, and it is also one of our trademark practices. Basically, we kill two birds with one stone, and it also gives us something that looks good in a brochure. It is a resume builder, if you will.
As you can see, I have thought long and hard about this. While thinking about my idea, I tried to come up with the perfect slogan for Jeezway. Those bastards over at 7-11 already stole the one that I wanted to use, so I had to come up with a new one. Seriously though, don't you think that Oh Thank Heaven should be reserved for a Christian convenience store? I do, and after I establish my Christian convenience store empire, I shall sue 7-11 for all its worth. Anyways, I couldn't come up with a slogan, so I went to this website and used the first slogan it came up with. Here is Jeezway's slogan: A Jeezway A Day Helps You Work, Rest and Play. Not bad, it is a little odd, but it is better than anything I could come up with.
Okay, so now that I have my quaint slogan in place, I can start telling you about the products that I will sell at the convenience store. All of our wine will be labeled the blood of christ, for obvious reasons. As you know, most religious people like their ceremonial wine, and who am I to judge? After I've won my holy crusade (lawsuit) against 7-11, Jeezway will have religious themed slurpees. How does Jesusberry Blue and Mountain Jew sound? The possibilities are endless! Jeezway will sell everything a normal convenience store does. The only difference is, we are a store of "moral" values, and that is what the American people want. This is capitalism at its finest people.
Well, this post is longer than I wanted it to be. I wish I could say the same thing about my penis, but that is neither her nor there. Anyways, thanks for reading my blog and I hope you liked my Jeezway idea. Leave me a comment, even if you hated it.
Oh, and just for the record, I am an atheist and this whole Jeezway idea was just a joke. It was my attempt at being funny, and I have probably failed miserably. If I offended you in any way, I apologize. Even if you don't forgive me, I know God will because God forgives everyone. And remember, Jesus saves and the black man slaves! And no, I am not racist either, I'm just an asshole. Thank you and good night.
Is it just me, or do a lot of seemingly great ideas come to you in the shower? I say seemingly because I am not sure if any of my ideas are really great ideas. Anyways, I was just wondering if anyone else noticed that. Actually, a lot of my ideas come to me when I'm in the bathroom. For example, my idea for a Christian convenience store, Jeezway. That idea came to me when I was going to the bathroom at my grandpa's funeral. I was obviously in the bathroom, I wasn't actually going to the bathroom at my grandpa's funeral. That would have been slightly awkward....
Anyways, on with the Jeezway idea. Okay, so I have told some of my friends this idea and most of them think that it is the best idea since the Jump to Conclusions Mat! I know what you're thinking to yourself now, "Self, what is Jeezway?" Well, let me answer your question. Jeezway is my idea for a Christian (or religious) based convenience store. It's not just a convenience store, it is also a funeral home and restaurant. So, it is basically a funeral home/convenience store/restaurant, all in one. It is such a great idea, I probably shouldn't be talking about it so openly on this blog. If anyone steals my idea, I will hunt you down and kill you!
Alright, on with the premise of my Jeezway idea. I'll start with the funeral home aspect. You know how when you're at a funeral home, and you're all like, damn, I need to go get something to eat. Well, this is where Jeezway comes in. Remember, Jeezway is a funeral home/convenience store/restaurant. So, that means that you can get a bite to eat at the restaurant, or you can get a snack at the convenience store. Sounds too good to be true? Of course it isn't!
It is important for me to reiterate this. Jeezway is a funeral home, with a restaurant and convenience store attached to it. But allow me to discuss the finer points of my idea. At Jeezway, we keep the dead bodies in the cooler of the convenience store. It is a cost savings maneuver, and it is also one of our trademark practices. Basically, we kill two birds with one stone, and it also gives us something that looks good in a brochure. It is a resume builder, if you will.
As you can see, I have thought long and hard about this. While thinking about my idea, I tried to come up with the perfect slogan for Jeezway. Those bastards over at 7-11 already stole the one that I wanted to use, so I had to come up with a new one. Seriously though, don't you think that Oh Thank Heaven should be reserved for a Christian convenience store? I do, and after I establish my Christian convenience store empire, I shall sue 7-11 for all its worth. Anyways, I couldn't come up with a slogan, so I went to this website and used the first slogan it came up with. Here is Jeezway's slogan: A Jeezway A Day Helps You Work, Rest and Play. Not bad, it is a little odd, but it is better than anything I could come up with.
Okay, so now that I have my quaint slogan in place, I can start telling you about the products that I will sell at the convenience store. All of our wine will be labeled the blood of christ, for obvious reasons. As you know, most religious people like their ceremonial wine, and who am I to judge? After I've won my holy crusade (lawsuit) against 7-11, Jeezway will have religious themed slurpees. How does Jesusberry Blue and Mountain Jew sound? The possibilities are endless! Jeezway will sell everything a normal convenience store does. The only difference is, we are a store of "moral" values, and that is what the American people want. This is capitalism at its finest people.
Well, this post is longer than I wanted it to be. I wish I could say the same thing about my penis, but that is neither her nor there. Anyways, thanks for reading my blog and I hope you liked my Jeezway idea. Leave me a comment, even if you hated it.
Oh, and just for the record, I am an atheist and this whole Jeezway idea was just a joke. It was my attempt at being funny, and I have probably failed miserably. If I offended you in any way, I apologize. Even if you don't forgive me, I know God will because God forgives everyone. And remember, Jesus saves and the black man slaves! And no, I am not racist either, I'm just an asshole. Thank you and good night.
Wednesday, November 17, 2004
Well, well, well
Well, it turns out that I have ulcers in my stomach. I went to the hospital on Tuesday, they did their thing, and they found multiple ulcers in my stomach. I am on Prevaid now, and also Carafate, so good times. I am feeling a little better, but still not like myself. My grandma, who is a nurse, said that the Carafate will allow me to eat whatever I want again, eventually. I sure hope she is right, I'm 20 years old, and this kind of shit is ridiculous at my age. I wish I knew what caused the ulcers, then I would have obviously stopped doing whatever it was. Most of my family says I worry too much, and that is what caused it, but I just don't know. I was looking around the Internet, and it said that ulcers are not caused by worrying, but worrying can be a contributing factor.
In other news, I'm sure you've all heard about the whole Terrell Owens-Nicollette Sheridan controversy that happend before Monday Night Football. If you haven't, check it out here. I really don't see what the big deal is, but leave it to the Media to make a big deal out of it. Don't you just love the logic of the Media. Gee, I know, why don't we play the clip over and over, that way we can show the world just how horrible the clip was! Meanwhile, millions of people, who wouldn't have seen it otherwise, get to see it! Fantastic, and everybody is okay with this? I mean, I didn't have a problem with the clip to begin with, but you don't hear anyone, at least to my knowledge, crying foul on the replaying of the clip.
I guess most people are mad because the original airing of the clip was during prime time, but I guarantee you, I guarantee you, if you watch some of these reality shows, you'll see much worse, in terms of tasteless entertainment. I mean really, everybody is okay with people transferring insects into a bowl on Fear Factor, and yet, some people are worried about a clip that didn't even show anything? To me, people partically eating insects if far more tasteless than that Monday Night Football clip, in more ways than one. Listen up people, the Monday Night Football clip was somewhat funny, didn't show any nudity, and actually did a good job of promoting Desperate Housewives. Although, it had nothing to do with football, but I still don't see the problem.
I attribute the controversy to a bunch of religious nut jobs, soccer moms, and retirees in Florida (which I have renamed the Dumb Fuck State, instead of the Sunshine State) calling up ABC and complaining. Some people have nothing better to do with their time. Well, I should talk, here I am writing a post about it! Anyways, my point remains the same. Listen up people, we have bigger fish to fry. We've got a war going on Iraq, and yet, people continue to keep their focus on things that don't really matter. Every time a dumb ass news story like this comes up, there is less time devoted to the more important news. In closing, I would just like to say that the American Media is a big joke, but I'm sure most of you already know that by now.
Well, that is all I have for you tonight. I was looking for the clip of the aforementioned Monday Night Football controversy, but I couldn't find a website that has the clip. If you haven't seen it, just watch the news tonight, I'm sure it will be played a million more times between now and five minutes from now. Anyways, good night everyone.
In other news, I'm sure you've all heard about the whole Terrell Owens-Nicollette Sheridan controversy that happend before Monday Night Football. If you haven't, check it out here. I really don't see what the big deal is, but leave it to the Media to make a big deal out of it. Don't you just love the logic of the Media. Gee, I know, why don't we play the clip over and over, that way we can show the world just how horrible the clip was! Meanwhile, millions of people, who wouldn't have seen it otherwise, get to see it! Fantastic, and everybody is okay with this? I mean, I didn't have a problem with the clip to begin with, but you don't hear anyone, at least to my knowledge, crying foul on the replaying of the clip.
I guess most people are mad because the original airing of the clip was during prime time, but I guarantee you, I guarantee you, if you watch some of these reality shows, you'll see much worse, in terms of tasteless entertainment. I mean really, everybody is okay with people transferring insects into a bowl on Fear Factor, and yet, some people are worried about a clip that didn't even show anything? To me, people partically eating insects if far more tasteless than that Monday Night Football clip, in more ways than one. Listen up people, the Monday Night Football clip was somewhat funny, didn't show any nudity, and actually did a good job of promoting Desperate Housewives. Although, it had nothing to do with football, but I still don't see the problem.
I attribute the controversy to a bunch of religious nut jobs, soccer moms, and retirees in Florida (which I have renamed the Dumb Fuck State, instead of the Sunshine State) calling up ABC and complaining. Some people have nothing better to do with their time. Well, I should talk, here I am writing a post about it! Anyways, my point remains the same. Listen up people, we have bigger fish to fry. We've got a war going on Iraq, and yet, people continue to keep their focus on things that don't really matter. Every time a dumb ass news story like this comes up, there is less time devoted to the more important news. In closing, I would just like to say that the American Media is a big joke, but I'm sure most of you already know that by now.
Well, that is all I have for you tonight. I was looking for the clip of the aforementioned Monday Night Football controversy, but I couldn't find a website that has the clip. If you haven't seen it, just watch the news tonight, I'm sure it will be played a million more times between now and five minutes from now. Anyways, good night everyone.
Tuesday, November 09, 2004
Hey Everyone
Just to let everyone know, I haven't dropped off the face of the Earth. I have just been really busy with school and work lately, so that is the main reason for my lack of updates. I promised a top ten list of my ten favorite Bushisms, and since he was elected, I guess I can still do that sometime later. For now, I'd just like to say that I'm not very happy with the results, but what can you really do? I guess we'll just have to wait and see what happens, but I'm not very optimistic about anything right now.
An update on my health status. I am feeling a lot better, but still not 100%. I went to the hospital for a test today, and they did an ultrasound on my abdomen. If everything is well, I won't know until my doctors appointment in December (unless I call them). If everything is not well, they will call me and tell me what's up. I really hope everything is fine, but I have another appointment next Tuesday. Next Tuesday, they are going to put me under and look for an ulcer in my stomach. It should be bad times, this is the one I'm not looking forward. Today was a walk in the park compared to this one. I'm not exactly sure how they are going to do it, but I guess they use some sort of device, and they stick that device down my throat and it eventually reaches me stomach. I'll be sure to ask though, before they put me under.
Anyways, that is all I wanted to say tonight. Thank you and good night.
An update on my health status. I am feeling a lot better, but still not 100%. I went to the hospital for a test today, and they did an ultrasound on my abdomen. If everything is well, I won't know until my doctors appointment in December (unless I call them). If everything is not well, they will call me and tell me what's up. I really hope everything is fine, but I have another appointment next Tuesday. Next Tuesday, they are going to put me under and look for an ulcer in my stomach. It should be bad times, this is the one I'm not looking forward. Today was a walk in the park compared to this one. I'm not exactly sure how they are going to do it, but I guess they use some sort of device, and they stick that device down my throat and it eventually reaches me stomach. I'll be sure to ask though, before they put me under.
Anyways, that is all I wanted to say tonight. Thank you and good night.
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