Number one: DVDs. All DVDs should have a full screen side and a wide screen side. There are two sides to every DVD, just like there are two sides to every coin. Imagine if the government only put something on one side of each coin. You would be pissed and you should be equally outraged at the entertainment companies here. I want the god damn home entertainment companies to start utilizing both sides of each and every DVD from now on. I'm tired of buying wide screen only or full screen only DVDs. I want both. I don't need an identifying sticker on the other side of a DVD. I want to have the option of full screen or wide screen. And I'm sure I'm not the only one.
Number two: fireworks. Now, is it just me, or I am the only one who thinks that they should be reserved for the Fourth of July only? Not the Third of July. Not the Fifth of July. Not June 27th. Not July 11th. The Fourth of July. The day America actually declared its independence. Here's the deal. If you want to go to some desolate place where there are no people for miles, and then light off fireworks, more power to you. But to all you assholes out there that just have to light off loud ass fireworks near my house, at midnight, a week after the Fourth of July, on a night that I have to go to work the next morning, preventing me from getting to sleep on time, and in the process taking a couple days off my life, I would just like to say fuck you. Holy run-on sentence Batman. I just committed a sentence structure faux pas, but it had to be done. For the love of Christ, it had to be done.
Number three: cellphones. I cannot stand people using cellphones in public places. If you go into a public place, get the hell off of your cellphone. Unless it's an absolute emergency, get off your cellphone. I'm sure that whatever is going on in your little cellphone conversing world is not that important. Here's the deal people. Cellphones were originally intended to be used for emergencies only. However, like most things, they are rarely used for their original purpose. As it stands, a cellphone is nothing more than a cordless phone with unlimated range. I swear to Allah, if another person walks into 7-11 on their cellphone, I'm going to go on a killing spree. I absolutely cannot stand cellphone use in public places. Have some common courtesy people. If you want to use it in your car, that's fine. But you better not be driving. That's a whole different rant though and I'll spare you of that this time. In closing, get off your god damn cellphones when entering a public place. I don't want to see them in convenience stores especially. In other public places, I can at least tolerate them. Here's how you'll know if you should get off your cellphone in a public place: If the public place isn't big enough for you to be on one end of the place without everybody hearing you, shut the damn thing off and continue the conversation elsewhere. You should really get off your cellphone in any public place, but that is the bare minimum amount of courtesy you should show people. Thank you.
I'm done complaining. I just have a few interesting facts to leave you with before I go:
- The human male is the only primate without a bone in his penis.
- 7-11 sells douche bags.
- I hate my job.
- Veni, vidi, vici means I came, I saw, I conquered in Latin.
Well, that's all I have for you tonight. Good night everyone.
